He needed her to fit into his life, and while she liked his friends, she couldn’t up and move to Dallas and…she wasn’t sure what she would do there.
“You don’t know what I need, yet, but I’m going to tell you. I’m going to be honest with you this time. Do you know why Byrne couldn’t drive a wedge between us?” He cupped her breasts, rolling her nipples and tweaking them in a way that made her writhe against him.
“Because you saw through him?”
He nipped at the back of her neck. “Because I’m willing to accept my own flaws now. Because somewhere along the way I decided to deal with myself honestly. When he needled me about how wealthy and successful you are, I recognized what I felt as insecurity, and I trust you enough to admit I felt it.”
A hard squeeze to her nipples and her whole body tightened. Was this his version of couples therapy? “You have nothing to be insecure about.”
“Society tells me differently. Society looks at you and wonders what you see in me beyond some trophy.”
Frustration filled her. “Fuck society. I’m not willing to let society vote on my relationship. They can go to hell. I am who I am and you are who you are, and they don’t get to change us.”
She wasn’t going to mold herself into what other people thought she should be. She hadn’t been willing to when she was a kid. She wasn’t about to start now. People would say what they would say, and she couldn’t change that, but she would be damned if she let it force her into a box.
His arms wound around her, pulling her back against him. “You have always been the fiercest woman I know, and I did not deserve you then. I was scared. You would have done exactly what you said you would have. You would have deferred for a year and given me time to get my shit together, and then you would have gone to Yale.”
“I would have gone even if you’d told me you couldn’t go with me. I would have called and written and loved you from afar, but Deke, I wasn’t going to give up my education for you. I couldn’t.” She had to be honest with him. She’d never understood his argument. It hadn’t made sense. Never once in her head had she thought she would stay in Calhoun and raise babies if he wouldn’t go with her.
“So I took the choice away,” he whispered. “Instead of trusting our relationship one way or another, I broke it. I pulled the bandage off when there wasn’t even a wound there. Baby, I was a kid and I was insecure, and I heard everyone around me talking about how the Hill girl was going to end up saddled with me if she wasn’t careful. I shouldn’t have listened.”
“I loved you, Deke. I wanted it to work, but I love me, too. I could have handled long distance.”
“We wouldn’t have survived. I should have gone with you. I should have been brave. Or maybe it needed to be this way because you were strong and I had to grow up.”
“Deke, you don’t have to say these things.”
She could feel the hard line of his erection pressed to her backside. Despite all the emotions flowing through her, her body went soft and willing.
“I do. I have to let you know that it’s not going to be the same this time,” he whispered against her ear. “This time I’m not letting my pride get in the way. I’m not letting anything keep me from you. You’re the only one who can tell me you’re better off without me.”
She wouldn’t be. She was fairly certain she would be bereft without him, but there was still an ocean between them. He still had his career and she had hers. He was entrenched in Dallas and the closest she might be able to get was Austin. “Our problems are the same.”
“But I’m not. I’m better, Maddie. I’m the man for you now. I’m flawed, but I can work on it.” He released her and she felt him moving. “I’m going to work on it right now.” He stood in front of her, his gorgeous face staring down at hers. “I’ve figured out that I can give you what you need. You need someone who puts you first. Before everyone and everything else. Before your work. Before all your ambitions. You are my universe, Maddie, and I’m the man who’s going to take care of you. Behind every woman who’s changing the world there should be a man who makes sure she’s got coffee in the morning and who’s waiting with a glass of wine and a killer fucking orgasm when she comes home. I’m that man for you, baby. Hold on tight.”
He leaned over and she gasped when he gripped her thighs and shifted his body so her legs were hooked over his shoulders and his mouth was right there. Right where she needed it most. He seemed to be done talking, and he was going to prove his words true.
His hands supported her lower back and she clung to the ropes, most of her weight lifted by his muscular body. She was dependent on him, vulnerable and open. He pressed his mouth against her, tongue finding her pussy and licking and tasting.
Her eyes threatened to roll into the back of her head as he worked her pussy. She felt like she was floating and he was the only real thing in the world. Only the stroke of his tongue, the feel of his strong hands, kept her tethered to the earth.
Over and over he fucked her with his tongue, and she lost all thoughts of inhibitions. She wrapped her legs around his head, allowing him all access to her pussy. His hands squeezed her ass, shifting her this way and that, finding the best angle.
The orgasm seemed to come out of nowhere, blasting through her and making her shake. She cried out, holding fast to the bindings as the pleasure rolled over her.
Then he was easing her legs down and lifting her off the hook and into his arms. “I meant to make this last. I meant to torture you for a long time and make you promise you’ll let me stay with you, but I can’t wait.”
You’ll let me stay with you.
Not you’ll stay with me. Not you’ll come with me when I leave.
“Torture me after,” she whispered.
As he moved toward the bed, she realized, this time, they might have a real chance.
* * * *
Deke wasn’t sure if he’d reached her, but in that moment it didn’t matter. He would reach her. Even if she said she wasn’t ready for a real relationship, he would move out here and be close when she was.
She was the be-all, end-all of his existence, and he wasn’t making the same mistake again.
He strode across the room to the bed and placed her carefully on it.
She was so fucking sexy staring up at him, all languid and relaxed because he’d eaten her pussy until she’d come all over his face. “Are you going to take these off me now?”
She held her hands up, and that made things very handy for him.
With one hand he gripped her wrists and used the other to attach the bindings to a useful set of cuffs he’d secured to the hook on the bed’s headboard. “I’m not done with them yet.”
She gasped when he flipped her over and pressed her up to her knees. The cuffs rotated a full 360 degrees for maximum fun.
He kicked off his boots and made quick work of his jeans.
“What are you doing?” She was on her knees, her arms bound in front of her, and she was the most delicious package he’d ever seen. She was sex and love and friendship, and she couldn’t get away because he’d tied her up.
He knew he should be feeling anxious about what he was doing, but there was something light bubbling up inside of him. He’d broken free of emotions that he’d dragged around with him for years. Guilt. Regret. Shame. “I’m fucking the woman I love. I’m going to be a trophy husband. I need to keep you properly relaxed.”