His eyes widen. “Do not.”
“Let me have another whiff.” I tug him to me and breathe in his little boy scent. “You smell like dragon scales and baseball diamonds and dirt.”
“Baseball,” Jonas screeches. “I had practice today.”
Shit. “I…I’m sorry, Jonas. I forgot.” Glancing up at Noah, I’m certain he can tack worst mother in the world to his list of dislikes about this place.
“Jonas. Little man, how about that bath like your mom asked, and I’ll figure something out for dinner.”
Jonas rolls off the couch, suddenly sullen and sulking because I forgot about his practice.
“And while you’re at it, do you have your baseball schedule somewhere?” Noah asks. “Let me have a look at it.”
Jonas disappears into his room.
“You don’t need to rub it in that I’m the worst mother ever,” I groan once Jonas is out of earshot.
Noah takes Jonas’s place, wedging himself on the edge of the couch. “I’m not. I— I want to help.” He swipes a hand over my forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“Better. I’m hungry, actually. Thanks for looking after Jonas today. I should get him dinner and start that bath for him.”
“I’ll get you dinner.” Noah’s voice deepens. He quickly stands, then disappears into my bathroom, where I hear the water running. He reappears and enters my small kitchen area, pulling out chicken nuggets for Jonas. I watch in wonder as he makes me soup and a mug of tea.
“How do you know all this?” I call out to him as he works.
“My brother’s fiancée is a nurse. She told me what to do for you.”
“Are you taking care of me?” I joke, although there isn’t anything humorous about our positions. He’s asked someone how to help me. I can’t understand why. “How was Jonas today?”
“Very helpful,” Noah states with a smirk. “He told me all the things I was doing wrong and then generously pointed out how to do them correctly.”
“Oh my.” I laugh, but I sound more like a barking dog thanks to the roughness in my throat.
Noah disappears into my bathroom. His voice is low as he speaks to Jonas who begrudgingly enters the tub. He’ll need help with his hair and a reminder to wash all his parts, but I don’t move from the couch.
Noah reappears and brings me the soup and tea. “Let’s get some soup into you and soothe that throat.” He positions himself on the low table before my couch and dips a spoon into an oversized mug. He brings it to my lips. Like a child, I open and accept him feeding me. I swallow the warm liquid and lick the corner of my lips. Noah watches my mouth and spoon-feeds me a few more swallows.
“Thank you,” I whisper, glancing directly into his silvery eyes. “You’ve been really helpful with Jonas and taking care of the inn…and me.” I swallow again, but it isn’t the actual burn in my throat that has me nearly choking. The truth is, it’s been a long time since anyone has taken care of me, and just like his kisses, he’s taken a weight off my mind for the day.
Noah sheepishly smiles. “You’re welcome.” He lifts the spoon to my mouth again, but I hold up a hand, taking the utensil from him. I can feed myself.
“Why did you tell Mason you needed to wait before you did any of the renovations he recommended?”
Setting the mug on my lap, I glance down at it. “Why would you ask?”
“Jonas mentioned something about your uncle staying in Florida.”
I look up at Noah.“The manager position is temporary, but he’s not coming back…”
Noah’s eyes narrow. He waits for me to fill in the blank.
I sigh. “My uncle wants to sell. I want to buy.”
“And run this place by yourself?” His brows lift. His tone incredulous. He doesn’t think I can do it, just like Uncle Joe. Just like Isaiah.
I square my shoulders defensively. “I already own half, willed to me by my father when he passed away. Uncle Joe will turn sixty in May. He wants to retire then, although he hasn’t done much over the past few years.” I scoff. “He wants me to sell outright. A clean break.” I swish my hands together, mocking the idea. “A fresh start.”
Noah continues to watch me. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrug. “You’re here for a temporary position. Why would you care?”
Noah’s brows severely pinch. He’s been caring all day in an unspoken way, but that isn’t the same thing. “You could make a lot of money off a sale.”
“You sound like my uncle, and it’s one reason he wants to sell to someone else. If he sells only to me, he’ll get appraised value, not market value, so he’ll earn less. However, this is my home. I love this place, and there isn’t a dollar amount I can put on my happiness.” My throat croaks, cracking with emotion and the strain of speaking.
Noah nods, and we sit in silence for a moment. He doesn’t understand the sentimental value of this place, and I don’t think I can explain myself to him. How I thought Isaiah and I would own the inn one day. We would raise Jonas here as my father raised me on this property. But every day was a reminder Isaiah didn’t want to be a father. His distance from our son. His excuse in his sculpting. I’m surprised he lasted five years. I’m certain he wanted to leave after the first year of Jonas’s life. Eventually, he told me the truth. He’d been biding his time and saving money, living rent-free in my father’s townhome. His creative energy was stymied here. His art called for him to leave.
He was full of shit.
He didn’t want to be a father. He didn’t want to be with me. He wanted to be free, so he left.
And I wanted to be here. This is my home as I told Noah. I didn’t know where I’d go or what I’d do without the inn.
“You know, I’m suddenly a little tired,” I lie.
Noah watches me.
“I can handle Jonas’s dinner and his bath. I appreciate you watching him today.”
Thankfully, he takes the hint without argument. He nods once again and stands, swiping his hands down his thighs.
“You can call me if you need anything.” His voice is quiet, rough even.
“Thank you. I will.” But I won’t. I can’t come to rely on Noah like I relied on Isaiah.
I’ve learned the only person I can rely on is me.
10
[Noah]
Tessa took almost a week to recover from the flu she didn’t admit she had. In that time, I cared for Jonas, getting him to school each day.
“Noah, can you be my dad?” he asked me one morning.
Uncertain how to answer, I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat. “You already have a dad, buddy.” Glancing in the rearview mirror, I see Jonas’s head tipped to the side. He focused outside the passenger window.
“Yeah, but he’s never coming back.”