“But that can only go so far. I need her to speak up more. Let me know what she needs, so I can be all those things for her.” She was beyond rattled, and who wouldn’t be? The woman she was in love with was very sick, and it likely felt like her world was spinning out of control without any brakes. I couldn’t imagine the stress.
I took Sarah’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “But listen, there’s you, too. I’m here for you, okay? On days where you just need to cry or vent or throw back a shot of the good stuff because it’s been a day, you call me. We’ll throw ’em back together.”
The tiniest of smiles appeared, the kind that came with encouragement. Sarah picked up the spatula and smoothed the sauce again. “Well, I can’t get you drunk and send you off to TV land.”
“Sure you can,” I said automatically. “Drunk reporters are in. People love it when the news goes off the rails. It’s the best, really.”
“My cousin, the slurring town crier.”
I nodded along. “Has quite the ring. You’re welcome.” I glanced at the staircase that led up to their bedroom. I’d come over with the idea I’d dish with Sarah, tell her everything, but now I was ready to pivot. “Can I go in and see Emory? Or would that be pushing it?”
Sarah nodded. “No, I actually think it would be good for her. She hasn’t been going out as much and needs to see humans other than me, Grace, or Lucy, who barges in on her and barks orders. It’s the greatest. I need her on payroll.”
“Taking a page from Lucy’s book then.” It was all the permission I needed. I made my way up the stairs and knocked quietly. “Hey, Em. It’s Skyler, your favorite cousin-in-law. You free?”
“Oh.” A pause. “Yeah, yeah. Of course. Come in.”
She was sitting up on top of the rumpled covers, which probably meant she scrambled there when she heard me coming in. Her hair was down and her face pale, but she was still Emory. Radiant even when less than herself.
“Hi, you. I’m here for your brain.”
She sat up taller as if to prove herself. “And here I am with it. Convenient, no?”
I nodded. “Most definitely.”
“I didn’t even know you were here. What’s new? Hit me.”
I sat cross-legged opposite her. “My head is spinning, and all I think about is kissing.”
“Well.” Her eyes went wide. “That is not what I expected to come out of your mouth.” She winced and leaned in. “Aren’t you still fifteen?”
“You’d think, but no. I’m nearly thirty and saw two gray hairs last week.”
“No.”
“I keep telling you, I’m old. Let’s get back to the kissing and its impact on my productivity. How do I get the dishes done?”
She waved an arm back and forth and closed her eyes. “We’ve skipped a step. I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.”
“Exactly. I’m not. I’m just doing the kissing.”
“Huh.” She nodded, absorbing. “And enjoying it apparently.”
“Immensely. I look forward to more.”
“Skyler. Who are you kissing?”
I paused. “Carrie. Caroline McNamara of TV fame.”
“Oh, man. Does Sarah know?”
“She does not. You’re first. Honored?”
“Gloating. Sarah’s always first.” A smile. She was more energetic now, which felt like a win. While I was happy to add a little spice to what might have been an otherwise depressing day, everything I’d said was wholeheartedly genuine, and I welcomed any girl talk, advice, or even admonishment. Though I couldn’t imagine why.
“There have been two instances of the kissing, if you can even call it that. Making out is probably more appropriate, and now I’m not normal anymore. I’m a hyperexaggerated version of myself that smiles and exhales a lot.”
Emory pointed at me. “Well, you’re doing it right now.”
“Of course I am. It’s my new look. Is there an angle I’m missing, though?”
She paused. “Well, definition, for one. You said you’re not dating, just kissing. As someone who places a lot of value on you and thinks you’re a fantastic person, I question her intentions and want to protect your heart like a guard dog.”
“There is that.”
“So you have real feelings for her?”
“It’s early, but yeah…I think I could. Not that I’m ready to declare to her officially.” I shook my head, trying to dissect it all. “I don’t want to come off as someone not able to handle a little no-strings-attached entanglement, but at the same time? I’ve been there, done that with Kacey, and that only works for so long.”
Emory’s eyes took on fire. “See? You’re already very aware of what your needs are and what does not work for you. Don’t be afraid to voice those things. Sooner rather than later would be good.”
The idea, while incredibly practical, was terrifying. “I think I’ll just play things by ear. See where it takes us.”
Emory marinated on this for a beat. “Promise one thing. Don’t let her status cloud your perspective. This is a woman with more life experience than you, who you’ve looked up to for quite some time.”
“You should see her very grown-up garden. I could never.”
She smiled. “That doesn’t mean she gets the upper hand, okay?”
I nodded.
She closed one eye. “Can I say one last thing?”
“Yes. I’m paying attention to everything you’re throwing at me.”
She took my hand. “You’re very excited about all this, but don’t confuse your excitement for feelings. They’re different.”
Okay, that was sobering, but also a valid point.
“Give yourself time to get to know the true her before deciding this is right.”
“Fair enough. I like it. I will channel my inner reporter and get the whole story before reaching any kind of conclusion.” It actually sounded like the best kind of project, and I wanted to get started right away. I fell back onto the bed and threw my arm over my head. “Did I mention the kissing, though?”
She grabbed my cheeks and gave my face an affectionate shake. “I think you said something about it.”
“Am I missing important details in here?” Sarah. She stood at the door with her hands on her hips as she studied us.