“Let’s do as I proposed. Let’s have food at the same time. Across from each other. In public.” I lifted one shoulder. “No promises. No expectations. We’ll see what we may have to talk about.”
She nodded, content. “We’ll talk and eat.”
“Both things.”
“Hey, that last part?” Scott asked, approaching with a question on his face. “Were you wanting us to cut around the uh…?”
“Skyler asking me out?” Carrie said brazenly. Against my better judgment, I allowed the flutter it brought on.
He blinked and offered a subtle nod, careful where he stepped.
“Air it,” Carrie said, a little bit to my surprise. “This show is about real life. In all capacities.”
“Got it,” he said and held his hands up. “All for it, by the way. Just want to put that out there. That’s great TV.”
Well, at least we’d made a moment, if nothing else.
I stood. “Looks like we’re all taking a few risks today. Thank you for having me.”
“Thank you for coming. It was fun.” Oh, the chemistry when our gazes held. Blazing hot as ever. It never waned. It never got old. It covered everything in its potency like glitter in the air.
“What about tomorrow?” I asked, riding the wave of the overly brave.
“What about tonight?” Oh, she’d upped the ante.
“Yeah?” It made me nervous, what I was doing. I did it anyway.
She nodded. “Yeah.”
So we were doing this. “Pick me up at seven. Don’t be late.” She never was. It was something fun to say.
Seven would give me a couple of hours to find a suitable outfit that showed off my shape, transition my hairstyle so it wouldn’t be the same as the shoot, and get my head…ready. Heartbreak or home run. Tonight could truly go a lot of ways, and I needed to be prepared for the feelings that came with all of them. Was there a What have I done moment once I was alone behind the wheel of my car? Most definitely. But it felt like I had very little to lose, and maybe a lifetime to gain. So I shut it the hell down, put the car in drive, and channeled the moose I knew I could be. After all, love wasn’t for the faint of heart.
* * *
Carrie picked me up right on time, wearing a white sweater dress and light brown boots with a heel. I was captivated by her look, stealing glances even moments after we’d greeted each other. Also, I could live in the soft aroma of her shampoo, and there it was as soon as I opened my door, a wonderful floral combination that took me places too good to examine in the present. There was a dinner to get to. “You look pretty.”
“Thank you. But you…you take my breath away in this,” she said, indicating the black belted cocktail dress I’d selected. We were a black and white fashion duo tonight, and somehow it felt fitting. I liked the juxtaposition.
“Thank you.”
“Shall we?” I saw her eyeing Micky through the open door behind me. Similarly, he seemed to have discovered his best friend was near, and the shrieking had commenced. “Go ahead,” I told her and stepped out of their way.
They reunited like family members separated for decades. She scooped the little sucker into her arms, cradled him like a baby, and gave him a few twirls. He wagged his body and licked every part of her he could. The display was really something to behold, and it was a shame I was the only one to witness it. What an impactful connection they had. “I hope you’re doing okay,” I heard her whisper to him. “I miss you so much. Do you know that?” He swiped her chin with his tongue lovingly, and she didn’t even bat an eye. Another great quality of hers. She’d get dirty in the mud, tending to her garden, and let my mutt kiss all over her.
“Now we can go,” she said, placing Micky gently on his favorite throw pillow. He’d be asleep in a ball within five minutes.
We made our way down the sidewalk as the chilly night air fueled the tiny bolts of tension mixed with anticipation that danced between us. Fear. Hope. Relief. Then she did something unexpected. She took my hand and held it all the way to the car. That simple gesture served to connect us and steady me. I felt the loss when I climbed into the passenger’s seat and spent the rest of the car ride watching her profile whenever I got the chance. Obsessing about the way her hair curled and gently touched her neck on its way down to where it rested beyond her shoulders. I missed how soft it was.
“I’m maybe more excited than I’ve let on,” Carrie said as we drove to the restaurant she’d picked out for us. “Gotta play it cool, you know.”
“Yeah? I’m nervous.”
“I’m that, too. I was just so taken aback when you asked me to dinner. Up until then, you’d shown no real signs of reconsidering…us.”
I had to choose my words carefully here because this was delicate ground. “We had something really good. The least I could do is…try.”
“And how’s it going?”
“Well, you danced with my dog and told me I looked pretty. But I’m still grappling with the stuff from months ago.”
She pulled the car into a parking space. “Here’s the thing.” She looked around, clearly agitated. “Um…let’s get out of the car.”
I frowned and did as she asked, curious. The parking lot of the restaurant wasn’t full, but there were handfuls of nicely dressed people coming and going from beneath the maroon awning that marked the entrance. Carrie didn’t care.
“I’m trying to imagine sitting in a restaurant and exchanging witty banter, flirting with you, and talking about the amazing qualities of the food when none of that matters.”
“It doesn’t?” I frowned, trying to follow.
“All that matters is you understanding something very important, and I can’t go another minute until you do.”
“Okay.” My heart squeezed uncomfortably because we were entering territory that left me feeling exposed, without armor. She placed her palm flat against mine and threaded our fingers. “You’re everything.” She paused to let the words work. “You’re not a piece of the puzzle for me. Not one of a handful of details. Not a contributing factor. But my everything.” She swallowed and I could see how nervous she was. This was a woman who went in front of thousands of people daily, unflappable and calm. Nothing like the vulnerable, flustered, heart-on-her-sleeve version I saw standing in front of me. But it was the words she spoke that toppled my resistance. I meant that much? I was crying. I wasn’t sure when I started, but there were tears streaming down my face. She pressed on. “And somewhere along the way, in my quest to find my place in my unexpected new life, I forgot to inform you of my feelings, and to make choices that would reflect them.” She shook her head in annoyance as if marveling at her own idiocy. “Once the dust settled, it was so obvious to me that I’d taken a wrong turn, and how I’d screwed everything up and miscommunicated myself. I’m so sorry for that, Skyler. So I got the hell out of Seattle, which is probably the end of my newscasting career forever.”