I left the dining room without waiting for Lady Catherine’s reply. My mind was made up.
My eyes began to burn and blur as I made me way to my little attic room. I had to clutch at the walls for support the entire way up so I didn’t tumble back down the stairs. As soon as I made it to the room, I collapsed on my bed and lay still. Even the lack of movement didn’t calm the nausea beating away at my insides.
“Cendrillon,” came Elodie’s voice from the doorway. “I overheard the conversation in the dining room. I am so, so sorry.”
We were grieving for my godmother, but we were also grieving for ourselves.
The bed dipped as Elodie lay down next to me and wrapped her arms around me. Her embrace was warm and safe. Only then, my face buried in my pillow, did I let the tears come, great, heaving sobs that wracked my entire body.
Today, I would cry and grieve for Lady Françoise, for everything that could have been. Tomorrow, I would enter the competition and win the heart of the dauphin. That was the only way now to get myself and Elodie away from this horrid château. I knew deep in my heart that it was what Lady Françoise would have wanted for me, to be free from Lady Catherine.
Chapter Twenty-Four
There were very few of us at Lady Françoise’s funeral. Once, she had been the popular favorite of the king, but even the king did not attend. It was a rainy, soggy day that matched my mood. I said a prayer for my godmother and laid flowers on her grave. The next day I returned to Versailles to take part in the competition as I’d promised myself I would.
The Hall of Mirrors felt different in the daylight.
On the night of the ball, entering the gallery had felt like journeying into another world. Now that it was morning, it felt very much a part of the palace. The mirrors reflected back images of the gardens and pools through the windows, doubling and redoubling the magic of Versailles.
The room was airy and fresh, the windows thrown open to let in the warm midmorning breeze. Everything from the parquet floors to the crystal chandeliers gleamed in the sunlight. I wandered through the gallery slowly, taking it all in and trying to decide if I preferred the Hall of Mirrors in the night or the day.
Taking in the sights wasn’t the only reason I wandered slowly. The twenty-four other girls chosen by the dauphin were waiting at the other end of the hall, huddled together near the still-erected dais. I wanted to avoid joining them as long as possible.
It was the day of the first true courtship event, and my nerves were a wreck. I didn’t really want to be there, and Lady Celia’s lessons had been so long ago; what if I’d forgotten all my social training and made a complete fool of myself? It was a real possibility.
The lack of sleep over the past few days wasn’t helping. I’d spent that first night after Lady Françoise’s passing in Elodie’s arms, sobbing, only to wake up to a carriage bearing Lady Françoise’s crest filled with trunks containing heaps of her fine dresses. Just before she died, she willed her clothing and one of her carriages to me. But her estate went to her sole male heir, a distant nephew, as was the law. For the next week, Elodie and I had been altering the dresses so that they fit me perfectly. The only reason I had any chance of success in the competition was because of Lady Françoise. Somehow, she knew that I’d been chosen, and she knew that I would need resources that Lady Catherine wouldn’t give me. My marraine was taking care of me one last time. I only wished that I’d been able to tell her how much I loved her.
I ran my fingers across the string of pearls around my neck. I’d never been able to return them, and now I was never taking them off. They were a reminder that I needed to stay strong and keep fighting. Once the competition was over, I could mourn her properly. But for now, I needed to focus and push my grief aside. This is what Lady Françoise wanted for me. If I won the competition, I would be the dauphine of France. And when I left the château to move into the palace, I would take Elodie with me, and Marius and Claudine as well. I had to win.
I had to put aside my growing feelings for Auguste, and I should count myself lucky that we never had the chance to truly reconnect, as it would have only made today more painful. There was nothing between us, and nothing could ever happen between us now.
I approached the dais slowly, the young ladies clustered into small groups of threes and fours, with a few pairs scattered about as well. A girl with red hair broke away from one of the larger groups and hurried toward me, waving excitedly the entire time.
“Cendrillon,” the girl called when she reached me. “I’m very happy to see you! It’s been a whole year, hasn’t it?”
“Right,” I said slowly, trying very hard not to flinch as the girl grabbed both my hands and swung them excitedly between us. She was pretty and bubbly, with bright green eyes and a light dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her smile was warm and welcoming, and it instantly put me at ease. It was silly, but I liked her immediately.
“Don’t say you’ve forgotten me,” she said with a laugh. “I’m Diane. Remember?”
“Diane. Yes, of course I remember! From Lady Celia’s lessons. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you right away.”
Diane and I never interacted much during or after our lessons. She had her own friends and I had Auguste, but she was never rude or dismissive like some of the others. She’d made sure to be kind, and I hadn’t remembered her.
“I’m sure you’ve had more important things to think about than old classmates.” Diane lowered her voice and leaned closer to me. “I was so sorry to hear of your father’s passing. I would have told you sooner, but you never came back to lessons. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you.”
She had no idea how hard it had been. No one did. But I smiled and tried to look well rested and well cared for, just another girl at the competition. Not a scullery maid in disguise.
“How wonderful that you’re here with us now,” Diane finished.
“Thank you. I appreciate the condolences. It has been difficult, but . . . I’m ready to start fresh.”
“I’m so glad! Let me introduce you to the other girls. We were all dying to know who the mysterious maiden was, and when Alexandre told us that it was you, appearing at Versailles so long after you’d left us, we were all even more desperate to talk with you!”
She smiled and started leading me toward the dais, practically skipping across the floor. I had to jog so I didn’t trip and fall flat on my face. I’d done enough tripping to last me a good long while; my palms were still scraped from my tumble on the stairs above the Latona Parterre.
“Mathilde, Paulette, meet Cendrillon de Louvois. Or should I say, ‘Lady Cinder.’ Cendrillon, these are my dear friends.”