He acknowledges this with the smallest shift in his eyes.
The kitchen staff run interference, getting in the way of Black and White, giving you just a few extra moments with your dad. He says something you don’t quite follow. You hear it, you catch most of the individual words, and yet somehow—you don’t understand. This gap, always there. Somehow unbridgeable, whether it’s across a wide Pacific gulf of language and culture, or just a simple sentence, father to son, always distance. The texture of everyday actions, simple movements and gestures, is harder than it looks. The great shame of your life that you can’t speak his language, not really, not fluently.
“Have you eaten yet, Dad?”
“Yes yes. Are you okay, Willis?”
“Why?”
He flits his eyes toward Green and Turner.
“I’m working with them now. This could be good.”
“Happy for you,” he says. He looks skeptical. Worried.
Turner and Green, pushing past all the Chinamen, finally reach you. They look suspicious.
GREEN
What were you saying to him?
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
Nothing. I am saying nothing.
TURNER
Didn’t look like nothing.
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
Okay, okay. I was asking old man if knowing something.
Old Asian Man looks at you, a look of disappointment flickering across his features with each accented word. You playing this part, talking like a foreigner. The son who was born here, raised here, a stranger to his own dad for what. For this. So he could be part of this, part of the American show, black and white, no part for yellow. The son who got As in every subject, including English, now making a living as Generic Asian Man.
“I wanted better for you,” he says.
“Dad,” you start, but you don’t know what to say.
“Don’t say anything? There is nothing left to say.”
“Mom said something earlier. Are you—Ba, are you okay?”
He looks down. He’s not okay.
Turner breaks the silence.
TURNER
What’s going on here? The real story.
What does he mean? Your dad—his actual struggles. It’s all you have left. Can you trust him not to take it away from you? There appears to be more to Turner and Green than you once thought. But it’s too risky. You’ve worked too hard to show them something they might not understand. You need to keep it together. You can’t get fired now. You make your face into a mask—dead in the eyes. Not a person. Not a real one anyway. A type. Generic. It’s a form of protection. Keep yourself inside this costume, this role. You lay it on a little thicker with the accent, break up your grammar a bit more.
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
I was just explain to him Older Brother is missing. To answer all of your questioning so can be helpful to detectives in the case.
Turner sees that you’re back on script, gets back into character himself.
TURNER
Is he going to help?
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
He say he will help as much as he can.
(then)
You know, he used to be someone. A teacher. Kung fu.
Turner appraises Old Asian Man.
TURNER
So this is him, huh? The master?
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
Yes. He was my teacher. Taught everyone in Chinatown. When he was young man, he was incredible. He could show you some things.
TURNER
Show me some things?
(laughs)
Okay.
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
You have muscles, yes, but here, inside, you are soft. I can see it. You move slow, like a turtle.
TURNER
I’ll show you how I move, you little—
Green pulls Turner aside, out of earshot. Or so they think.
GREEN
Take it easy.
TURNER
Why? He started all of this.
GREEN
Yeah, maybe he did. But we need him, if we’re going to get anywhere in Chinatown. Just—be nice to the Asian Guy, okay?
There we go. The two words: Asian Guy. Even now, as Special Guest Star, even here, in your own neighborhood. Two words that define you, flatten you, trap you and keep you here. Who you are. All you are. Your most salient feature, overshadowing any other feature about you, making irrelevant any other characteristic. Both necessary and sufficient for a complete definition of your identity: Asian. Guy.
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
You know, I can hear everything you’re saying. That’s what I am, huh? Asian Guy.
Green looks sheepish.
GREEN
I didn’t mean—
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
Sure you didn’t.
TURNER
There are worse things to be called.
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
Yeah?
TURNER
Yeah.
(then)
Anyway, weren’t you the one who took the role? You want to know the truth? You did this to yourself.
SPECIAL GUEST STAR
I’m choosing this?
TURNER
No. But you’re going along with it. Look where we are. Look what you made yourself into. Working your way up the system doesn’t mean you beat the system. It strengthens it. It’s what the system depends on.