And then there was nothing. That blissful moment of peace where your body and brain disconnect and you’re floating, adrift and alone.
Amy curled up beside me, and I pulled her into my arms. I pressed a kiss to her head.
“You need to come with your own warning label,” I mumbled, tracing her lips with my finger. “Your mouth needs to be listed as a dangerous weapon.”
Playfully, she bit the end of my finger. “Made you smile, though.”
“Was that your goal?”
“You don’t smile enough, Simon. I like knowing I put it on your face.”
I pulled her to me and kissed her. I had no idea how to respond to those words.
I woke alone again. I could smell coffee and bacon. I got up and grabbed a quick shower, grinning at the damp towel hanging on the rack. Obviously, Amy had had a shower already and decided to make breakfast.
I dressed and headed downstairs. Amy glanced over her shoulder at me with a grin.
“Morning, handsome.”
“Hey, Chippy,” I replied, dropping a kiss to her cheek.
“Chippy?”
“It’s a short form of chipmunk. It suits you.”
She rolled her eyes and handed me a cup of coffee. “Whatever. I made breakfast.”
“I was going to take you out for breakfast.”
She leaned against the counter, shaking her head. “You need to remember how small a town this is, Simon. They see us out for breakfast, and they’ll start to talk. I don’t think you’re ready for that.”
She turned back to the pan, and I sat down at the island. She was right. I wasn’t ready for that. Despite what happened last night, we had to proceed slowly. I had to think of Mia.
I shook my head. I had barely thought of my daughter since dinner last night. My entire focus had been on Amy. The passion between us.
I watched her for a moment, so at home in my kitchen. Looking sexy in my shirt, tied around her waist in a knot, her pretty skirt flowing about her legs. She was comfortable. It felt…natural. I thought about how Mia would react. What she would think. She’d been the entire focus of my life for so long. What if she resented Amy? Didn’t like her? I had to continue with caution.
It hit me that maybe I was moving too fast. That I had let last night and my frenzied lust cloud my judgment. I needed to pull back and go back to Plan A. Slow. Get to know Amy. Introduce her to Mia. Proceed from there.
I just wasn’t sure how to accomplish that, given what had transpired between Amy and me.
My mood fractured during breakfast, my mind and heart at war with each other. I was quiet, thinking, going deep into my head. Amy seemed to sense that, as she was silent as well. We ate our breakfast, and I insisted on cleaning the kitchen. She disappeared and I heard her walk back down the stairs, but she never came into the kitchen. I wiped my hands and found her seated in the living room, staring out the window. Her usual smile was absent, but she was polite and casual as she stood.
“Can you run me home?” she asked.
“Of course,” I said with a frown. “I don’t expect you to walk.”
She smiled and moved past me. My hands itched to touch her. To tell her the doubts and fears crowding my head. The worries. But I remained silent and followed her to the car.
The short trip was uncomfortable for both of us. I didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t try to fill the air with small talk. When I pulled up to her place, I began to take off my seat belt, but she stopped me.
“It’s fine, Simon. I’m a big girl and can walk myself into my place.”
“Amy—”
She cut me off. “It’s okay,” she offered. “I get it. Last night was amazing. For both of us. And it was exactly what we wanted and needed. One night. Not the start of something. I get it.”
I groaned and turned my head, meeting her eyes. I saw the hurt she was trying to cover up, the pain of rejection. I shook my head. “No, Amy—”
Again, she stopped me. “Like I said, I’m a big girl, Simon. It was fun and I enjoyed myself. You take care, and I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around. Maybe the grocery store again.” She offered me a smile I could only describe as brittle. It was false and hid her true feelings, and I deserved the anger she was concealing.
She climbed out of the car and walked away, never turning back. I sat for a moment, undecided, then I drove away, feeling as if I had left something behind. Something important.
I cursed myself all the way to Evan’s.
But I didn’t turn around.
Mia greeted me with a carefree smile and a hug when I arrived at Evan and Holly’s place. She was busy with Angela and Hannah, doing some craft Holly had them involved in that they had picked up at the fair. I gratefully accepted a cup of coffee and wandered back to Evan’s shop. He was at work hand-sanding a delicate-looking piece of trim, his face frowning in concentration. He smiled when he saw me, setting aside the wood and taking the cup of coffee Holly had sent him from my hands.
“Thanks, I needed a break.”
I looked at the piece he was working on. “Beautiful,” I offered as I ran my hand over the silken wooden top.
“It will be. My customer found it in a barn under some blankets covered in hay. I had to let it air a little and fix the warping. Now is the fun part. So much trim to fix and replicate. I’m trying to save as much as possible.”
We sipped our coffee in silence for a moment. “I thought Holly would keep you inside to hear all about your date,” he said finally.
I shook my head.
“Didn’t go well?”
“It was great. Amy is lovely.” I took a sip of coffee. “I just can’t move too fast, you know?”
“I get that, but I thought you’d look happier.”
I scrubbed my face. “It’s complicated, Evan.”
Holly walked in, carrying a plate with coffee cake on it. “How complicated?”
I met her unwavering gaze. I should have known she wouldn’t accept my silence as a deterrent.
“Look, we had a great time. Amy is awesome.”
“But?” she questioned.
“But what?” I countered, not wanting to have this conversation with her.
“Did you sleep with her?” she asked.
I sputtered into my coffee. “Kinda personal, Holly,” I said dryly.
“Did you?”
I didn’t respond.
“So, you slept with her, and that’s it?” She frowned. “I’m a little shocked at your behavior, Simon. I didn’t think you were a love them and leave them kind of guy.”
“I have to take it slow for Mia. That’s all.”
“And, of course, you explained that to Amy. So she understood. You didn’t leave her feeling as if she’d been used and discarded.”
I felt the back of my neck break into a sweat.
“I think that’s between Amy and me,” I muttered.
She slammed her hands onto her hips. “She is my friend. My best friend. If I had thought you were going to use her, I never would have encouraged her to go out with you.”
“I didn’t use her.” I ran a hand over my eyes. “Holly, it’s complicated. I like Amy. I like her a lot. But I have to take it slow for Mia. For me. Last time I tried this, I got my heart stomped on.”