A vicious part of my brain whispered that I'd made the wrong choice. I should have picked Kaden—at least then I would have a home still. I looked over at Jordan and instantly dismissed the thought. How the hell was I supposed to choose? I screamed silently.
Jordan sat down in the snow, his head turned away as I started hyperventilating. It wasn't the privacy I needed, but at least it provided the illusion of it.
I took a deep, shuddering breath in and reached up to wipe the tears off of my face. “Why didn't you escape all this time?" My voice was bitter and angry, but if Jordan was affected by any of that, he didn't show it. “I know you could have, and maybe then we would have avoided all of this.”
It was easy to blame him, to turn it back around on him, when I was angry at myself for making a choice, or for not insisting that Kaden calmed down and talked this through with me like a proper adult.
Jordan stiffened, and slowly he turned to look at me. “You're a smart girl,” he said. “Figure it out yourself.”
I drew in a few more deep breaths, mind spinning as I thought back over the last few months. “You didn't want to escape. Did you?” But why would Jordan be so eager to be in enemy territory, where the threat of death was imminent?
Jordan didn't answer, which meant I was right. I went to sit beside him in the snow as the last of the raging inferno inside of me died. I'd have time to grieve later, but right now I needed to figure out the next step in our plan. Ours. It was weird to think of Jordan and I having a common goal, but he really was everything I had right now. I'd made my choice, and here were the consequences of my actions, sitting beside me. It would be easy to scream at Jordan, to place all of the blame on him, but I closed my eyes and reigned in my anger. It was all really directed toward myself and Kaden, and taking it out on Jordan wouldn't get me anywhere.
“Why didn't you want to escape?” I asked after a few moments, calmer this time.
Jordan looked over at me again. “When it came out that Harrison was my father, I was challenged daily for the role of alpha. I beat them all, but it made me start questioning whether or not I really should be the alpha. After you kidnapped me, I wasn't sure what would happen when I returned to the Leos. For all I knew, the beta had taken over, and he was nearly as bad as Dixon. I suspected they'd kill me on sight. And maybe, with my Cancer blood, I didn't deserve to be alpha anyway."
My mouth fell open at his admission. Where was the cocky, arrogant Jordan I knew so well? But I also sensed he wasn't telling me everything “That's all well and good,” I said. “But you could have hidden out anywhere, or stepped down as alpha. There was another reason you didn't escape, did you?”
Jordan looked away from me, a muscle twitching in his jaw.
I tried again. “You stayed for me, didn't you?”
I thought he'd deny it, or just not say anything at all. “Fine,” Jordan spat out. “It was nice to have a sister for once in my life, even if you are annoying as fuck.” He glanced over at me with a scowl. “But don't think this means for a second that I care about you."
I smirked at him. “Too late. I already know you care."
He rolled his eyes and turned away again, but I'd seen something in his eyes, something that proved what I'd long suspected—that Jordan really did have a heart deep down in there somewhere, far beneath that arrogant smirk.
“I'm not sure where to go next," I said, after a few minutes of silence.
"Yeah, I can't imagine Kaden would like me sleeping in his house somehow," Jordan said with a dark chuckle.
"No, he definitely wouldn't, and I have a feeling I wouldn't be welcome anymore either." I shook my head, clearing those thoughts. Surely there was some way to mend what was between us. Surely I could fix this still. But right now I couldn't think about any of that until we had a safe place to stay.
I narrowed my eyes and looked out at the glittering forest as I considered my options. I could go to Wesley and seek shelter with the Cancer pack, but I had a feeling they wouldn't take kindly to me bringing Jordan there. Not to mention, I doubted Wesley would be able to forgive Jordan for his part in our parents' deaths, even if we were all technically blood related. And could I really trust Jordan with the secret location where the Cancer pack was hiding from the Leos? I wasn't sure.
I also considered taking Jordan with me to Lunatera, but again, I couldn't trust him not to reveal information about the place to the Sun Witches. Besides, I didn't truly understand how time worked there.
I wracked my brain, trying to think of somewhere else to go. “The Convergence is a little over a week away. We just need somewhere safe to stay until then.”
Jordan looked over at me, his blue eyes wide and shocked. “There's no way you're going to the Convergence."
“Of course I'm going,” I said, drawing myself up straight. “I might be packless now, but I'm still going to fight the Sun Witches. That's what I set out to do, and I won't rest until they're defeated. With or without the help of any of the other packs. Or you, for that matter.”
“Just let it go and hide until it's over,” he warned. “Stay out of it. For your safety.”
I remembered what he'd said about the Sun Witches…and what he hadn't said. If they were controlling people's minds, including his own, that was even more reason for me to go to the Convergence. I had to protect the people I cared about who would be there—including Kaden. I still loved him, no matter what had happened.
“I can't,” I said. “I'm not going to let my friends and family face this threat alone.”
Jordan huffed out an exasperated breath. “Fine, but if you're going then I'm going with you."
I was oddly relieved to hear this. It was nice to have him on my side for whatever came next, even though I didn't fully understand his motivations.
"We can go back to the Leo village," Jordan said suddenly. "It's abandoned, right? But all my stuff will still be there, and we can stay there until it's time to go to the Convergence."
I hesitated, but couldn't think of anywhere else to go. “Do you know where the Leos are now?”
"No, I really don't. I haven't been in contact with my pack since you captured me.”
"Damn."
"Maybe I'll find something while we're there, something Kaden missed." Jordan shrugged. "Either way, we should be safe there as long as they don't come back."
"If they do, I suppose we can just teleport away again." I stood up and brushed snow off my hands and my butt. "Let's go then."
Jordan stood a lot slower, narrowing his eyes. "I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?”
I smiled grimly at him. “Not really, no.”
In a flash, we were back in the Leo village, which looked exactly the same as it had last time I'd been here—still empty, except for a couple tumbleweeds rolling through town. Oh, and the destroyed gazebo of course.
Jordan's eyebrows lifted at the sight. "Kaden, I assume?"
"Yep."
"Can't say I blame him. I almost burned the place down myself after that night."