She’d laugh except for the fact that she knew how he felt. That sense of worthlessness that was beaten into the soul when you were too young to even realize how much damage it was doing. She felt it, just like he did.
No matter what, she’d never use another person like that. “Nothing. And that’s the truth. I just thought you could use some kindness.”
She kissed the large, jagged scar of a wound that had narrowly missed his heart. “It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone. Since I’ve wanted to be with anyone, honestly. I’d begun to fear that I was too jaded to feel anymore. But you . . . you break my heart.”
Eve brushed at his soft hair as she sought for the words to soothe his battered soul. “I’m not stupid, Jinx. I know this is all we’ll ever have and that once you leave I’ll never see you again. That was all I expected. Nothing more. And I will never try to claim anything else.”
With those words spoken, she kissed him and got up.
Jinx didn’t speak as he watched her leave him and head to the bathroom.
This is the way it has to be.
He knew that the same way she did.
But it stung him to his soul. And for the first time in years, he remembered the dreams he’d had as a boy.
The days when he’d seen a future of family.
Love.
When he’d taken things such as laughter and acceptance for granted. When monsters were the things that hid in his closet or under his bed, and were quickly banished by his parents coming into his room and wrapping him in a hug.
All his safety and sanity had died under a chorus of brutal screams.
He winced as he saw that night so clearly. As the image of his mother’s death flashed across his eyes again.
“Run! Protect your sister!” His father’s last words before he fell while trying to protect them. “I’m depending on you, Jinx. You’re a Tievel! Never forget that!”
But he had forgotten it.
Survival had pushed everything aside, except the rage of injustice. That bitter hatred he had for a god that had allowed his parents to be slaughtered and his sister to be ripped out of his arms.
By their own brother.
In all these years, nothing else had pushed past those emotions.
Not even the physical pain.
Until now.
No wonder The League was so adamant that they never allow another to touch them.
All those horrific lessons. All those days of starvation and beatings.
Completely undone by the simple need of a human soul desperate for kindness.
If only it were that simple.
End of the day, he wasn’t stupid enough to believe that this was a cure for The League’s brutality. He’d met too many of his comrades who were too far gone to ever be brought back from their madness. Those who no longer cared about anyone but themselves. Who lived to hurt others.
Brutality was their sustenance.
It was the only thing that gave them pleasure.
But there were still a few like him, who had somehow managed to retain their souls.
You’re too few and you know it.
Many days, he doubted his own sanity.
Closing his eyes, Jinx listened to the water run as Eve showered. He was desperate to join her.
Don’t be stupid.
If he went in there right now, he’d never leave.
Thankfully, his link buzzed before he gave into that deadly temptation.
Grateful for a distraction, he answered it to find Savage on the other end.
“Where’s the female?”
“Another room, why?”
Savage sighed. “I think I know why she saved you.”
He didn’t like that tone at all. “What’d you learn?”
“Her sister’s in a League prison. Sorry, bud. She’s using you. Terminate her and get out.”
Chapter Three
Rage and hurt warred inside Jinx as he played with the spring release on the concealed dagger in his uniform.
It was a backup weapon. His preferred means was the black Seax dagger he kept concealed in a pocket . . .
Terminate her and get out.
Commander Savage was a superior officer. Technically, those were orders and he should follow them.
The Andarion had a lot more experience than he did. He was the founder of their small rebel gang and Sav, alone, had kept them alive against PM Quiakides’s madness.
When another assassin would have killed them and taken a rank advancement, Savage had hidden them and made sure they healed whenever they were wounded.
They all owed their lives to him.
It was a fucked up weird-ass family they’d almost formed, where their crazy uncle was likely to cut their throat at any moment, but it was the best anyone in The League’s assassin corps could hope for.
He was so lucky to have been selected as one of Savage’s handful of insurgents.
Still . . .
Eve seemed so honest and sincere.
People lie all the time. You know that.
His parents were dead because of a betrayer who’d looked them all in the eyes and told them how much he loved them. Tobin had been his half-brother.
And he’d destroyed them all.
For what?
Greed. Rebellion?
Stupidity.
Trust no one.
Everybody wanted something.
If life and League had taught him nothing else, it should have taught him that. In the most brutal way possible.
Terminate her and get out.
Eve gasped as she left the bathroom and found Jinx standing just outside the door. “Is that some innate male trait that all of you have that makes you want to scare the shit out of people?”
“What?”
“Nothing. Just my SIC does it all the time, too. He’s always jump-scaring me. Makes me want to wring his neck.” Toweling her hair, she stepped past him. “The shower’s all yours.”
Jinx hesitated, torn between wanting to kiss her again and drag her to the bed . . .
Or kill her.
Eve paused to frown at him. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Still not sure what to do, he went into the bathroom and slowly closed the door.
Eve scowled at his actions. What the hell?
She put the towel down around her shoulders. Okay, that was weird. Something had happened while she was bathing. His mood had completely altered again.
He’s an assassin.
They weren’t exactly known for mental stability.
Then again, neither was she. Bad childhoods didn’t lend themselves to happy, well-adjusted adults. There were some days when she could barely hold it together, and her worst day was probably a thousand times better than his best.
If one-millionth of what she’d been told about League training was true, it was a wonder he was sane at all. Rumors claimed they forced assassins into cannibalizing each other in order to survive.
She’d always prayed that one was a lie.
But the one she knew was true was that they were forced to eat while The League played videos of people being tortured and killed in order to desensitize them to the pain and suffering of others. The League would do anything they could to kill all compassion within their assassins.
Kill or be killed.
Jinx was the most dangerous creature in the known universe, and no matter what else he did, she couldn’t afford to forget that.
As he’d said, they were playing a dangerous game.