No, that’s wrong.
She’s already changed me. She did that from the very first letter.
Because of her, I’m turning into someone that thinks about the future. Our future.
Someone that wants to know everything about her. Her hopes, her dreams, her desires. Make sure she gets enough sleep. Make sure she takes her vitamins and doesn’t forget to eat.
I want to know when she gets her period. I want to count the days every fucking month and hope like fuck she’s late.
This pulsing desire inside my soul to breed her has taken on a life of its own.
Still, this whole new world is a mindfuck. The family, the legit business, the way they all care for each other and have a common goal. As simple as it is, that’s uncharted territory for me. I know that if I fuck up, I’ll lose her. Or worse, I’ll be the man she doesn’t need. And if that’s the case, I’d rather not be here at all.
I’ve never wanted anything the way I want her. Before this, romance was a fucking shelf in the library. It seemed so goddamned unnecessary to put someone before myself.
But, with Daphne? Fuck, I want to give her everything she wants. Keep her safe. Be her port in the storm. Be here for whatever will inevitably come. Anticipate her every need from the moment I wake until I put her to sleep, my dick nestled inside her through the night.
My chest has been tight since I saw her earlier today, and it’s not just that I want to fuck her so bad my johnson feels like it’s tied in a square knot.
It’s bigger than that. Because the truth is simple: I don’t want to disappoint her.
What the hell can I offer to a girl like her? I’m not even a day out, with a record that will keep almost anyone from trusting me, including her if she has any sense. She should run a mile. Fast. And now.
But, God, I want her to trust me. I need her trust so I can be the man she deserves.
Now, I’m in Walter’s office at the garage. They’re going back and forth about upgrading their security system. More missing parts from their storage behind the shop. That’s what the call was about back at the house. Serious shit but I’m barely listening. Because I can still smell her on me. Honey-sweet. Lusty and all mine.
Walter’s desk is covered in neat piles of receipts and files. On the back wall, keychains hang on numbered hooks. The rest of the garage is par for the course: the wall above covered in old calendars with bikini-clad women sitting on the hoods of hot rods and classic roadsters holding up cans of Mobil oil. Curves in all the right places. But not even close to Daphne. Not even fucking close.
I force myself to focus on what’s going on around me. On the smell of motor oil and the clank of carburetors. I know my way around engines. My dad and I bonded over fixing them. I took on other jobs at garages and some chop shops through the years.
Walter grilled me hard about my skills, telling me I’d be doing oil changes and brake jobs until he could trust me to do otherwise. I proved my worth. But still I can see he’s fucking wary.
James shoves back his chair, saying he’s going to go tweak the cameras again.
Which leaves me alone with Walter.
He stays quiet, tapping on his keyboard, then settles back in his chair, hands clasping over his gut, eyes on me. For a second, I can see him on the wrong side of an interrogation desk. There’s judgment in his eyes and who can blame him?
“Just so you know, I asked James a lot of questions before I agreed to this. He’s vouched for you and I trust my son, but…”
I swallow hard. I’ve never given two shits about what anybody else thinks of me. Until now.
In my past life, this fucker would have meant nothing to me. Just another asshole in a line of assholes. But things have changed, and I’m fucking nervous about what’s coming next.
Because this man holds the keys to Daphne’s approval. If he sends me away and tells her I’m no good for her? Then what? Would she ever contact me again? Would I ever see her loops and swirls again? I don’t know but I fucking doubt it.
I think about that for a second and realize, even if that happened, I wouldn’t leave.
At the very least, I’d become her stalker. I’d make damned sure no one else got even an idea in their head she was available. At the very worst, I’d throw her in the back of my car, when I get one that is, drive us up to some deserted mountain cabin and fuck a baby into her even if I had to tie her to the bed to do it.
I shake the thought away. Walter’s staring at me, my dick starting to rise again. I grit my teeth and force my erection down. That’s going to have to fucking wait until I have her under me.
“James told me who you hung out with. In the past. Told me what happened. Said your so-called friends let you take the fall for whatever reason. Something you and my son have in common.” He clears his throat. “If we find out you’re starting up old friendships…you’re out. And, just for the record, I told James the same fucking thing. This is a big, small town. I know who’s who and for all I know, those former friends of yours are the very assholes that are stealing parts and breaking in here. I don’t believe in coincidences. I won’t give you a second chance. I protect my own. We clear?”
I nod on a sniff. The old Dutch wants to tell him to go fuck himself. Instead I offer my hand to shake his. “I won’t need a second chance.”
He nods back, taking my offer, our hands clasped together. “Good. I’m going to have a word with James, then we’ll be ready to go.”
All this shit makes me uneasy. These big talks, these warnings. But it’s necessary discomfort.
Walter’s fatherly protectiveness makes me think of my own dad. Thinking about him makes my heart knot up. He did his best. But his best wasn’t great.
My dad always said that nothing worth having comes easy. For the first time in as far back as I can remember, turning things around may help repair things I’d thought were broken forever.
My eyes move over the photos behind Walter’s desk. Glossy prints in cheap frames. I see him with what looks like maybe his sister, and that makes me think about my sister, too. The last time we spoke, I was a complete ass. Pushed her away hard. Like a wild dog unwilling to let anyone get close.
I didn’t want her seeing me that way, didn’t want my shit to be her problem. But goddamn. Sitting here. Thinking about family. Part of me wants to call her up, hear her out, listen to what she wanted to say.
Apologize for not being there for her after Dad’s death. For being an ass.
“Hey.” James pops his head into the office, breaking my slow slide down Unhappy Family Memories Lane. “You ready?”
I nod and stand, brushing my hands down the front of my shirt, the memory of Daphne’s flavor on my tongue sending a twinge through me. I follow James down the hallway toward the main garage.
“Sorry if my dad is a bit of a hard ass. He doesn’t trust people easily.”
“It’s cool. I get it. Nothing worth having comes easy.”
But even as I say the words, Walter’s speech in the office makes me wonder if I’ll ever have his approval, ever have his blessing with Daphne. He made it clear that until I prove myself, I’m an outsider. He’s giving me a chance.
But I know that if I so much as sneeze in the wrong direction, I’m out. That’s some thin fucking ice for a guy like me.