“I don’t mind,” I said. “You can talk to me.”
Piper dipped her tea bag in and out of the water.
“Are you ever lonely? Moving around all the time?” she asked. It was a question I got all the time.
“Sometimes,” I admitted. “But then I usually go out and sit in a café, or go and film a class, or call my friend River, and the feeling passes. I was so surrounded by people growing up that I think I’m making up for lost time now. Being alone was impossible for so many years.” I laughed. “It’s still a pleasure to take a shower without someone banging on the door and yelling at me not to use all the hot water.”
She laughed softly and sipped at her tea. “Sometimes I worry about Preston being an only child, but the idea of having another baby is so terrifying that I can’t even entertain it.” She shuddered.
“My parents say they didn’t intend to have seven kids, but I don’t know if I believe them,” I said.
There was a sound at the door and Natalie walked in, her arms full.
“Okay, I stopped at Sweet’s and they were trying out some new cookie flavors, so Linley packed me a box,” she said. I tried not to be disappointed that Piper and I weren’t alone anymore.
“What am I going to do with you?” Piper said, shaking her head at the box of cookies Natalie set on the counter, along with some mail and some packages.
“Give me a raise?” Natalie said, and Piper laughed. “Keep bringing me baked goods and maybe I will.”
It felt like it was time for me to leave, so I put my bag over my shoulder.
“Don’t you want a cookie?” Natalie asked. My tea was only half-finished.
“I actually have to run. I’m doing a live class and I have to go do some prep,” I said. The lie came out smoothly.
“Take a cookie for the road,” Piper said, opening the box and presenting it to me. I reached for one after pretending to consider for a moment.
“Thanks,” I said, holding up the cookie. Piper handed me a napkin and I walked toward the door.
“See you on Thursday,” I said, and Piper and Natalie waved goodbye.
The cookie turned out to be some sort of strawberry chocolate cheesecake thing and it was utterly delicious.
“So, tell me: is anyone cute in this town of yours?” River asked on Wednesday night. I’d actually returned to the beach to take a night walk and do some thinking. She’d called me, though, so I was talking to her instead.
“I mean, yes? What kind of cute are you looking for?” I asked.
“I think my next affair should be with someone who’s in the lobstering industry or a lumberjack or something,” River said. “I’m into the idea of calluses.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I can see the appeal. I can’t say I’ve seen anyone like that around. Esme’s dad does wear a lot of flannel, but I think he’s a little old for you.”
“How old?” she asked.
“At least fifty,” I said.
“Still,” she said, as if she was considering it.
“I wouldn’t recommend fucking anyone you don’t want the entire town knowing that you fucked,” I said. “This is one of those weird places, River. Everyone knows everything about everyone. And everyone is connected to everyone.”
Before she visited, I was going to draw a tree of all the Castleton connections and show it to her so she could see exactly what I was talking about.
“I mean, it doesn’t matter, because I’m only there to visit,” she said. “I’m a beautiful and mysterious woman, just in town for a few days.”
I snorted. “You’re ridiculous sometimes, River.”
“No, I’m mysterious.”
“Okay, okay. You’re mysterious.”
I walked toward the water and kicked my feet in the chilly water. It was warm, for Maine ocean water, but cold compared to pretty much anywhere else.
“How’s your crush going?” River asked. I cringed, wishing she hadn’t.
“I’m working on it,” I said. I couldn’t tell her why I had to get rid of my crush, because then she’d ask me why I had to get rid of it and then the entire story would come tumbling out. I knew if I started talking, I wouldn’t be able to stop from confessing the whole thing to her.
“Made a move yet?” she asked.
“No, and I’m not going to,” I said.
“Why not?”
“I’m…waiting.”
“For what?”
“Just waiting,” I said. In my head, I begged her to drop it.
“Fine, fine,” River said with a sigh. “I can feel that you don’t want to talk about it, so I won’t pester you too much.”
I breathed out in relief.
“Thank you.”
“I still think you should make a move, though. Okay, done talking about it.”
I didn’t answer her, and she changed course by telling me about a new taco place that had opened up near her apartment.
I walked up and down the beach while talking to River and it felt good to talk to her. I’d been a little off since my Tuesday class with Piper. Unsettled. Not even my meditation and personal yoga practice could get me back on track.
Sure, I’d survived the class with her without being a creep. But how long could I keep that up? I had to get a handle on these feelings for her while they were still small, and easy to smash. How did you get over a crush? I’d never had to deal with this situation before.
More than anything, I wanted to ask River for advice, because I knew she’d have some good advice for me. But then I would end up telling her everything. So that was out.
I was on my own, with only a little bit of help from the internet.
“Are you there?” River asked. “You seem distracted.”
“Sorry. Too many thoughts in my head.”
“I’ll allow it,” River said. I tuned back in to my friend and pushed thoughts of my crush aside. For now.
Chapter Nine
I was surprised to open the door to Piper’s house on Thursday to find Natalie standing there holding the hand of a little boy who looked exactly like Piper.
“Sorry. Daycare emergency. Their pipes burst,” Natalie said.
“Oh, yikes.” As I stood there, I got a message from Julia about that very thing. She said she was going to stop at her place and then go hang out with Hollis at the barn.
“Hi,” said the little voice down near my knees. “I’m Preston.” He pointed to himself.
“Hi, Preston,” I said, getting down on his level. “My name is McKenna. It’s really nice to meet you.”
He smiled and Natalie pulled him aside so I could walk in.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t warn you,” Piper said from the kitchen. She still had her work outfit on and was cutting up some veggies.
“Did you need to cancel?” I asked.
“No, Natalie can watch him,” Piper said. I remembered that Natalie had been Preston’s nanny originally, so she was obviously comfortable with taking care of him.
“We’re gonna have fun, aren’t we?” Natalie said to Preston.