“His weight makes you think it’s Grizzly. Or Dog,” Nyx said flatly.
“Yes. And after, if his hair is messy and—”
Sin seemed to understand what I struggled to verbalize. “He does look like his dad.”
“Who looks like Grizzly,” Link groaned.
It was tough to swallow when your throat felt sealed shut, but I managed it and whispered, “I screamed and froze him out. I do that a lot,” I finished miserably. “I never thought he’d take off. Not like this.”
“That’s why you’re so worried?” Steel questioned.
“What with Bear and everything, yes.”
“We don’t want to get the cops involved,” Nyx muttered. “That’s just asking for trouble.”
Maverick’s expressionless voice caught all our attention. “He could be heading down to New Mexico.”
“New fucking Mexico? What the hell’s down there?” Sin rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not like he’s on the lam because of Inked.”
My ears pricked at that, but then, as I so often had to, I shut off my curiosity.
It got me nowhere and meant that, down the line, I wouldn’t be able to defend him from whatever he’d done to the thief in the Sinners’ midsts.
“Maybe there or California?” Maverick mused.
“New Mexico or California?” Determined not to think of Inked and whatever might have happened to him at Rex’s hands when he definitely wasn’t my priority, I frowned and remarked, “Big difference.”
“Not really,” Maverick said grimly. “Two reasons for him to visit those states.”
“What are they?” Steel demanded.
“Cali’s where their kid is.”
I could feel the color drain from my face as everyone froze.
“Their kid?” Link questioned, his gaze tripping between Mav and me.
Maverick nodded. “Their kid.”
As one, the brothers turned their attention to me.
“Your kid?” Nyx rasped, and there was hell in his eyes.
“Our kid,” I whispered. “Not Grizzly’s or Dog’s.”
A breath stuttered from his lips. “Why the hell is that kid in California?”
“Because we gave her up for adoption.”
“And Rex let that happen?” Steel sputtered.
Link raised a hand. “When the fuck was this?”
“First year of college.”
He winced. “The kid… The second time you were assaulted?”
“No. She’s Rex’s. I was pregnant when that happened,” I managed to get out. I reached up and covered my face. “I can’t believe I’m talking to you all about this.”
“You should have come to us the minute you could. We’d have lynched Grizzly and Dog and made them pay,” Steel growled.
“Fuck yeah we would’ve,” Nyx grated out. “We’re your family, Rach.”
“You weren’t then. You were Rex’s. Are we even friends now? I just keep your asses out of jail.”
“I’m gonna forgive you for thinking that because we’re having a tough conversation,” Steel sniped. “But you question our friendship again, and I’ll get Rex to spank your ass, and if he won’t do that then he can make you stand in the goddamn corner.
“I don’t give a fuck what he does so long as you realize you’re one of us. You think we let any bitch into church? You think we trust just anyone? You’re one of us, Rachel. Whether you like it or not.”
My eyes pricked with tears again when I received a bunch of nods in agreement, even Mav gave me a grunt of assent, and I sniffled in response.
A week ago, I’d have coldly told them that I did not goddamn want to be their friend, and I’d have walked out.
Right now, I just felt the love and was embraced by it.
God, I hated being pregnant.
Last time, I’d been a crybaby. This time looked set to be just as bad.
“Rex is a possessive bastard,” Link said softly. “He’d never let you put a kid of his up for adoption.”
“After the second time, I wasn’t in a good place. I tried to kill myself twice.” I didn’t feel like telling them I’d been hospitalized. “Rex knew. He arranged things.”
“Rex has had me keep an eye on her since the day she was born,” Maverick inserted.
The idea that he had was both comforting and distressing.
I was her mother.
I should have been interested, should have cared, but all I’d done was lock up that part of my life so I could forget about it. Thinking about her made me think about it.
I was such a shitty person.
Blowing out a breath, I asked, “Has he met her?”
“Not since she was a baby.”
“Does he know who her parents are?”
“He got her placed with them. To this day, he still pays her way.”
Nyx twisted back to gape at him. “Who the fuck are they, Mav?”
“You remember Ally and Jeremy Kinnock?”
Steel groaned. “Prom King and Queen?”
His lips twisted in a half smile. “You always did get a boner for her.”
“Fuck off,” Steel grumbled.
“Jez fires blanks, so they were looking to adopt. Rex arranged it with them. He has a direct influence on her life—picked her school, shit like that. They even kept the name Rach gave her.” He cast me a look. “Wynter.”
I swallowed.
“I’m surprised they agreed to that,” Nyx murmured, “Jeremy was the QB, wasn’t he?”
“He was.”
“Arrogant asswipe,” Nyx said with a sniff.
“Jeremy’s business was going bankrupt, so Rex handled that and put them in his debt.” Mav shrugged. “I’m not sure how deep his involvement is aside from what I do for him.”
Link frowned. “Which is?”
“Monitor her.”
I shivered. “That sounds creepy.”
“Keeps her safe,” he disregarded.
Despite myself, I liked the idea of that. “That’s all that matters, I guess.” I sighed. “She’ll be seventeen in a couple days.”
“Rex asked about her on Christmas Eve.”
“If she’s in California and her birthday is soon, why do you think he could be going to New Mexico?” Sin questioned
“I’m making an app. It’s an open source means for parents to be able to monitor their kids’ Internet usage. Rex has given me the go ahead to make it happen.
"But, along the way, I found this kid. He’s a school shooter just waiting to happen. I told Rex about it. Second I heard he was missing, I figured he’d gone on a long run to clear his head.”
“And to stop a school shooting at the same time?” Sin rolled his eyes as he leaned down and hauled the table back into a standing position. “It’s a wonder he can get to sleep at night with that halo.”
The wreckage crunched beneath the heavy table, but no one said a word as they hauled their chairs toward it.
Everyone but me.
Nyx was still in front of me.
Still on his knees.
Still watching me.
I sucked in a breath. “It’s okay, Nyx.”