From there, we’d become roommates after there’d been a fire in my dorm.
Then, in our apartment… her husband.
God.
The only reason I knew about those end goals was because we’d grown closer after covering up his murder to protect Hunter.
Once you did something like that, once something that haunting connected you, you learned the real and true meaning of trust.
I bit my lip at the thought and immediately dialed Hunter’s number. It had been way too long since we’d spoken. A lot longer than with Rory, because when I went quiet, Rory pushed, Hunter didn’t.
“How’s my favorite woman in the world?”
His easy charm settled something inside me. Hunter was my version of antacids. For Rory? He was the reason she had indigestion.
I smiled and told him, “Liar. I’m your second favorite woman.”
“I’m too much of a gentleman to confirm or deny that statement.”
My smile morphed into a grin.
A part of me had always wondered why things between Hunter and I couldn’t have evolved into something more. Things were so easy with him. They always had been.
But I guessed that was the point.
Nothing worth anything was easy in this life.
Painful but true.
“Well, I’ll confirm it for you. How are you doing?”
“Ticking along.”
“Yeah? Where are you?”
“Right now? Vegas. It’s interesting here.”
I snorted. “That’s one way of putting it. Do you have noise canceling earphones in and I can’t hear the titty bar music in the background.”
Snickering, he said, “No, I’m in my office.”
“Your office?” I arched a brow at nothing then absently checked my emails when I saw one had come in.
A part of me hoped Rex would contact me but I hadn’t heard from him since Christmas.
Was it bizarre to admit that I was going into withdrawals?
I hadn’t been away from him for this long since college. It was only now that he was cutting me out of his days that I realized how he always touched base with me.
Every goddamn day.
Recently, it had been via email. But we always had a call or a text conversation together.
Until now.
I couldn’t be angry. Even if I was hurting. I, after all, had hurt him.
God, how he’d looked at me…
The pain of it sliced into me whenever I closed my eyes.
Gritting my teeth, I almost didn’t hear Hunter asking, “Rach? Rach? You there?”
Quickly clearing my throat, I replied, “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry. Just… my mind wandered. Not your fault. Mine.”
He snickered. “I’d ask if it was a personal thing, but I doubt it seeing as you don’t have a life outside of work.”
“Fuck off,” I grumbled.
“Where would I fuck off to? You phoned me,” he pointed out.
“I’m pregnant, Hunter,” I blurted into dead silence.
He was quiet a second, then he laughed. “Congratulations, Rach! God, you’re going to make an awesome mom. They’ll all be terrified of you, but when they get into trouble, you’ll have the teachers petrified.”
Despite myself, I knew I wore a dopy smile. “You know how to give a compliment, Hunter.”
He chuckled. “Am I wrong?”
“No,” I retorted with a snort.
“How’s King feeling about it?”
I blew out a breath, touched that, even though we were out of regular contact, he and Rory knew the only baby daddy I’d ever have would be King.
“King doesn’t know yet.”
“Why not?”
“His dad just died.”
“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry, Rach. I know you loved King’s father. Bear, wasn’t it?”
“Thanks, Hunter,” I said, my tone wobbly. Hunter always remembered the little things. “It’s been hard.”
“Of course it has. You should have told me,” he chided.
“What would you have done? Sent flowers?”
“Well, that or ice cream. I think you’d have preferred that…”
“You still could send ice cream,” I pointed out.
“Consider it done. Anyway, you were saying about King? Why you haven’t told him about the baby?"
“What with Bear and everything, I didn’t want to burden him.”
“Maybe it’d cheer him up.”
I blinked. “Maybe it would. I-I can’t tell him yet though. He…”
“He…?” Hunter prompted when I hesitated.
“I had one of my nightmares.”
Hunter knew all about those. After, we’d continued sharing the same flat. Sometimes, I’d pitied our neighbors. I wasn’t the only one screaming at night. Rory was just as bad as me back then.
Not now though.
A part of me wondered if I was defective or something.
She was over it—why wasn’t I?
Rubbing my eyes, I muttered, “I had one of my dreams. I told him to get out, and he took me literally.”
“Huh. He’s never listened before, has he?”
“No,” I whispered miserably, hating that Hunter was right.
This wasn’t the first time I’d looked at him as if he were Grizzly.
Why did they have to look so much alike?
Why?
Hating genetics, I gnawed on the inside of my cheek as Hunter asked, “What changed?”
“It was the day his dad died.”
“Oh. Ouch.”
“Yeah.” A breath whistled from between my teeth. “I suck.”
“Hardly, Rach. You love the man. You can’t be with him because of your past. I think that sucks more for both of you. It isn’t your fault he looks just like his uncle. Neither is it his fault, in all fairness.”
“You don’t have to tell me that,” I said bitterly.
“You still love him, right?”
“Of course. There’s no one else. Never has been.”
He sighed. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”
I closed my eyes. Rex's wounded expression flashed before them. “Tell me about it. Anyway, I didn’t call you to whine.”
“You’re not whining. But why did you call?”
“I got off the phone with Rory, and she said she hadn’t talked to you recently and I realized I hadn’t either. I wanted to check in.”
“Rory’s ignoring me,” he said flatly. “She deals with things like you do.”
“She doesn’t,” I scoffed. “She’s strong. I’m weak.”
He scoffed back, “You’re one of the strongest women I know. Definitely one of the smartest. I’d say you were the smartest, but you and Rory are too competitive for me to declare one of you ahead of the other.
"You’re brilliant, Rachel. Absolutely brilliant. You regularly astound me—”
While his defense touched me, I mumbled, “How can I regularly do anything when we haven’t spoken in ages?”
“You think I don’t keep tabs on both of you? I actually watched the Long Beach Butcher trial.”
“You did?” My eyes widened. “Why didn’t you tell me you were there?”