I hurt her where nobody else would see it. I unbuttoned her blouse and saw her pretty nipples there, and something made me want to hurt them worse than anything else. I did hurt them. I twisted them so hard in my fingers that she whimpered, and her whimper thrilled me. It felt private somehow. Her shallow little breaths made me feel like more of a god than I’d ever known.
Instinct takes over, even at that age. Biting her felt like the most natural thing in the world. I loved the marks I left on her, so pink against her skin. I knew they would bruise and hurt her later as well as in the moment. I wanted to hurt her over and over again just to keep those marks alive on her skin.
She was older than me, probably fifteen. Her tits were a lovely shape that jiggled just right when I slapped them. It was my first fuck, and I didn’t hold back.
“Ahhh, owww. Owww. Lucian, please…”
Only it wasn’t just a cry of pain as I squeezed her and pulled her nipples. There was more in her eyes as she arched her back for me, even as she was whimpering…and then that whimpering changed to a different type of whimper.
She came from nothing more than my violence on her skin, her mouth open as she moaned for me. That was power.
“You come back here next week,” I said, referring to our next art class. “I want to see what these bruises look like. And I’m going to fuck you again.”
She knew that I’d be waiting for her, in exactly the same spot at exactly the same time.
She didn’t fight me, because she knew there would be no point. What’s more, she wanted what I dished out, wanted it so badly she never strayed from that exact path. She was meek as she followed me down the bank to our usual spot, spreading herself wide open so I could hurt her however I wanted.
Bethany Fryers was the first girl I fucked.
She was the first girl I fucked so hard it hurt her, and that thrilled me more than ever.
I was like a demon possessed as I hunted down other pretty girls I wanted to be inside of, and I found them. Found the ones who craved the sort of pain I dished out, needed it so much they’d beg me for it. I found so many of them, I lost count through the years.
Father knew about it. I think eventually one of the girls’ daddies found out about what I was doing and confronted him at Morelli Holdings.
I was scared shitless as he walked into my room one evening with that dangerous look in his eyes. I knew he knew. I could see it before he said a word.
I wondered what he was going to do to punish me, seeing as his belt would make no difference whatsoever, not like it did with my brothers. As it turns out, he didn’t punish me. He sat down on the bed next to me with a strange smile on his face.
“I always knew you’d be a strong boy,” he said to me. “Believe me, Lucian, it’s a good thing. You need to be strong in this family. I’m proud of you, Son.”
With that he was gone, and he never mentioned it again.
It didn’t matter how many people I hurt, or how many girls I touched, or how many boys I beat up until I was their ruler—he never mentioned it again.
Neither had I. Other than forging the Violent Delights club with Clark Ventana and signing Rex Halloway up for my virgin purchases, and Trenton Alto knowing way more about me than he should, I hadn’t spilled my truths to anyone.
So why the holy fuck was I tempted to spill my truths to Elaine Constantine?
Chapter Seventeen
Elaine
My insides were going crazy with nerves and flutters. That curiosity I knew so well was going wild inside me, desperate to know just what Lucian Morelli was hiding from the world.
He was quiet and brooding as he made another coffee, his hand still bleeding into the towel. I wondered if he needed a doctor for stitches, but he didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, and his hand seemed to be working just fine.
I didn’t push him, didn’t speak, just let him churn in his darkness. The thrill and hope was already burning deep inside me that maybe, just maybe, he’d tell me something. Anything. Just something to give my curiosity one little tickle.
“If you stab anyone in the hand again,” he finally said, “you want to make sure you do it more centrally. You barely cut more than skin.”
If. If I stab anyone in the hand. Like I was ever going to see anyone. I nodded at him. “Sure thing. I guess I’m a crappy hand stabber. My bad.”
He smirked, unable to hide the amusement, even though I’d just sliced him open. “You have such an impudent little tongue on you, Elaine,” he said. “Some people might even find it funny.”
Some people like him, even if he didn’t want to admit it.
Still I kept quiet, letting him churn, letting him think. I couldn’t even imagine what went on inside a mind like Lucian’s. He was such a different creature to me that the very idea of the life inside of him must be like an alien planet. Or maybe the depths of hell.
I pretended not to care so much about what he might tell me, but it was a pointless exercise, I’m sure it was blatantly obvious that I was desperate to know. My thighs were still sore from the places I’d sliced them, but I didn’t give a crap about that anymore. I didn’t feel the need for that anymore. All I needed was the words of the monster in front of me as he sipped his coffee.
“It’s a power,” he told me after another minute of pure silence. “I’m immune to every pain that people want to dish out to me. I don’t have to worry about anything they might dish out. They either kill me or mean nothing.”
That’s an interesting thought. They either kill me or mean nothing. I could see how that was a form of power. I wished I could feel that way. “You must wonder about pain though.”
I thought he was going to tell me to mind my own fucking business, but he didn’t. He fixed me with that piercing stare of his and put his mug on the counter. “Of course. I enjoy the thrill of watching people in pain. Especially you.”
“I guess I would too,” I said with a shrug, and he pulled a face at me.
“You think you’d be a sadist, do you, if you didn’t know pain?”
I pulled a face right back at him. “No, probably not. I’d probably not be a sick fuck like you, but I’m sure I would be curious. I’m curious about everything.”
Another smirk from him. “Clearly you’re curious. If you weren’t overly curious you’d have the sense to shut your mouth.”
I dared to push him, just a little. “When did you find out? You must have been young.”
I wasn’t expecting him to actually answer me. The facts were simple enough. The pain tolerance. But I was in shock when he told me just how much of a little boy he was and how his father had pushed his body for the truth. No wonder Lucian Morelli was so twisted, he’d been fucked up from one hell of an early age.
He pulled another face when he registered how my mind was working. “He didn’t fucking abuse me, Elaine. He was finding out who I was.”
I didn’t agree with him but didn’t voice it.
“You have no idea how much power it gave me, knowing just how immune I was to hurt.”
“I have an idea how much power it gave you,” I told him. “Considering just how much you’ve used it to get your own way and bully people into submission every moment of your life. It’s just a shame you’ve never actually done things with people because they want to, not because you bully them.”