“That is bollocks,” Grantham said. “Cowardly foolishness, Dashiell, and I am shocked to hear you say it. If you refuse to pursue a future with her, it is because of some other reason, but not worthiness. No one in this family believes you anything but worthy, including my mother. You are her dearest friend, her truest confidante, and now that I have experienced love of my own, I can recognize you are the love of her life.”
Dash’s heart went to his throat at that observation. One that caused him pain as much as joy. Terror as much as exhilaration. Certainly, she was the love of his life.
Grantham let out a long sigh when Dash didn’t answer. “I am intruding where I should not. I knew it when I sent you away together, I know it now. But I almost threw away a chance at my own happiness.” He glanced toward the window again, as if he could see Ophelia in his mind’s eye. His tone was rougher when he said, “And I think both you and my mother deserve better than to regret what you didn’t pursue. At least think about it. Think about how empty your life, her life, will be if you let her go.”
Dash bent his head. What Grantham said was exactly what he had been avoiding thinking about. But now it sat on his chest, a weight that he felt through every limb and nerve and vein.
“I will,” he said softly, and pushed to his feet. “Is that all, Your Majesty?”
“For now,” Grantham said, and stood, extending a hand over the desk. “Dash.”
Dash shook the offered hand, feeling Grantham’s warmth toward him, his sincere regard. And he sighed as he left the room and headed to his own. To ponder. To think. And to make the greatest decision of his life.
Giabella sat at the supper table, surrounded by her laughing family. She smiled along with them, but her gaze kept slipping down to the opposite side of the table where Dash sat.
He’d been watching her all night, his blue gaze unreadable and yet piercing into her soul. Something had changed in him since their arrival back in the capital. More than just a return to their duties and positions.
“—go to Everlay,” Priscilla was saying.
Giabella blinked at the mention of her home country and looked at her daughter-in-law. “I’m sorry, my dear, what were you saying?”
Priscilla looked at her with a little confusion but repeated herself. “I was just saying that Remi suggested we take a trip to Everlay after everything settles. Perhaps in the autumn. I’ve heard so much of your home country, Mama. I do long to see it.”
Giabella nodded. “And the autumn is a lovely time to go. You could stay at my residence there, Blythe House.”
Priscilla shot a side glance toward her husband. “Is that the place where you—”
Remi’s eyes went wide and he held up a hand. “No, no, what happens in Everlay should very much stay in Everlay, my dear. My mother does not want to discuss things I did at Blythe House.”
Giabella arched a brow at him. Remi had been so wild until Priscilla came into his life. She knew of quite a few parties that her youngest son had partaken in and she certainly didn’t want to discuss them.
“Well, perhaps I shall accompany you,” she said, refusing to glance down the table at Dash. “After all, once the election is held and the power is transferred, it might be a good thing for the royals to make themselves scarce. I don’t want anyone ever thinking I was influencing this government from the sidelines. It seems like something your father would do.”
Grantham wrinkled his brow from the head of the table. “Mama, I do not think anyone would ever accuse you of such.”
She did look at Dash now. “They might under the wrong circumstances. And…” She drew in a long breath. “I’ve been considering my future even more the last few days. I thought…I thought I might make my permanent residence Blythe House, at least for the next few years.”
The table fell to shocked silence except for the clatter of Dash’s fork as he dropped it against his plate. She jerked her gaze to his, finding his eyes wild and wide as he stared at her.
“Mama…” Remi began, all humor gone from his expression.
Dash didn’t allow him to continue. He pushed to his feet, his chair screeching against the hard wood as he did so. He stared at her and the room stared at him in return. He opened and shut his mouth twice. “You would leave Athawick,” he choked out at last, his tone shaky and uncertain.
She swallowed. This was not how she should have done this, but telling him privately seemed far too difficult. Doing it once, just once, felt better. Except now, after she’d done it, it felt so much worse. He had absolutely no color in his cheeks.
“It might be the best for all involved,” she said softly, “for me to create distance.”
“It has nothing to bloody do with all involved,” Dash said. “Be honest, Gia. You are doing this to create distance from me.”
Grantham was up on his feet instantly and without a word he motioned to the dining room door. En masse the entire family hustled out, leaving their half-eaten meals behind. Giabella blushed as Priscilla shut the doors behind them with a quick glance her way. Great God, now it was all out. They all had to know something had changed between her and Dash. They would all have their opinions soon enough.
And yet none of that mattered as much as Dash. He moved along the opposite side of the table, coming toward her, even though there was still that barrier of furniture between them.
“Answer me,” he said.
She choked on a gasp and then gathered herself. “Yes. Yes, I would leave because of you.”
He turned his head. “Gia.”
“Not because of anything we did or shared, not because you’ve done anything wrong. You’ve never done anything but the right thing, my dearest Dash. But you have a chance at a real future, something just for you that you deserve so much. And if I stay, I will only be in the way of it. Because I know in my heart that I will want to be near you. And you will always turn toward me. I’ll interfere in your work, I’ll make this entire government suspect and I will…I’ll hate myself for keeping you from what and who you were meant to be.”
He fisted a hand at his side, his frustration clear on his face. “God, the two of us. Always trying to protect each other and never directly talking about the thing between us. Habit, I suppose. One we never changed even when your husband was gone and we could have been honest.” He shook his head. “I must be honest now, though.”
“Honest about what?” she whispered.
“Why do you think I decided to take a position in this government?”
“To give yourself a remarkable opportunity, to impact the future of our country. To do more than simply carry around my paperwork and remind me the names of some titled fop’s four sons so that I might make that man feel important.”
“I did it because I…I love you, Gia.”
Giabella got up slowly, her limbs feeling numb as his words pierced the very heart of her. “What did you say?”
“I love you, Giabella,” he repeated. “God, I have held those words in for fifteen years. I could have said them the first moment I met you and known they were true and would be true for the rest of my life. Every single thing I did and said to you was the I love you I couldn’t speak. And I have regretted none of it. I have never wanted for more than to stand at your side and make your life better and happier.”