He didn’t know why, but this…this thing between them had suddenly veered into the realm of impossible. And he would have to find a way to fight that or else risk destroying his future, along with that of the woman he so desperately loved.
CHAPTER 2
Giabella motioned to one of the trunks lined up in her antechamber. “I think take both,” she said to Betsy, who was holding up two gowns. “They each match the jewels and we will decide what is best once I arrive and feel out the situation more fully.”
“As you wish, Your Majesty,” Betsy said, and motioned to the other maids, who carefully began to fold the gowns.
Giabella sighed as she moved to the table to look at the shoes her maid had lined up. She pulled pairs forward, indicating which she wished to take. This had been her life for the last few days, this ceaseless choosing and planning and imagining what impact she would make with a ring or a gown. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand the truth of that fact. This was her armor, after all; she was entering what could be enemy territory.
It was just that she was so tired of all of it. So wrung out after years of this performative dance.
There was a knock at her chamber door and she pivoted to face it, heart leaping. Dash had been so busy doing his own preparations that she had seen very little of him since their last encounter in the parlor. The one she’d kept reliving over and over, analyzing his every facial expression and glance.
Now she found herself holding her breath as Betsy opened the door to reveal if it was the man himself. Breath she expelled as Remi, her younger son, entered the chamber instead.
“Oh, Mama, you look so disappointed to see me,” he teased as he stepped around the trunks and piles and made his way to kiss her cheek.
She swatted his arm lightly. “Of course I am not. I am always overjoyed to see you, as you well know.”
“Because I’m your favorite,” he drawled with a wink.
She rolled her eyes but didn’t correct him. She loved all her children, but Remi wasn’t wrong. His brightness made it impossible not to adore him. She always had and she always would.
“Are you here to torment your poor mother or is something else on your mind?” she asked, going back to sorting her slippers.
Remi stepped up next to her and pushed a pair of the shoes back, replacing it with another. When she arched her brow at him, he shrugged. “The peach are prettier and you’ve told me before that they are also more comfortable.” She left his selection and he laughed. “So, it seems you are nearly ready for Grantham’s pony show.”
She shot him a look. “Now, now. I am happy to do this for him. We all do our part in this family.”
He cocked his head, and suddenly her playful son’s expression became a little more serious. “We all make sacrifices?”
She pursed her lips. There was clearly an undercurrent to the question. And judging from the way the maids were all side-eyeing them, they heard it too. She pivoted and smiled at the small group of women. “May we have the room a moment?”
“Of course, Your Majesty,” Betsy said with a meaningful look to the others. The rest curtseyed as they all began to leave the room.
Once they were alone, Giabella speared Remi with a glance. “I thought you and Grantham were getting along better.”
Remi’s eyes went wide. “We are, Mama. Closer than ever, actually. When I spoke of sacrifices, it is only because I have been thinking lately that you have sacrificed more than most.”
She stepped away, smoothing her hands over her skirts. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
He arched a brow at her, his expression making it plain that he didn’t believe that for a moment. “What will you do when this is over?” he asked.
She blinked. “When the election has been held?”
He nodded. “And Grantham takes on this new role. When we all become simply…people. No longer royalty, or at least Athawickian royalty.”
She shifted. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “It will be a change, certainly.”
“You could do anything.”
She worried her lip gently as her mind suddenly turned to thoughts of Dash. “Yes. I suppose I could.”
“With anyone,” Remi said.
She jerked her gaze back to his and saw a knowing glint in his light blue eyes. “Remington,” she said, her tone a warning.
He ignored it and reached out, taking both her hands in his. “All of your children have found love. Please don’t give up on it yourself. I know you have—”
She drew in a breath and interrupted, “You needn’t worry about me, dearest.”
He laughed. “And yet I do.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Do you leave in the morning?”
“Yes,” she said. “Very early.”
“Then our last supper must be jolly, indeed,” he said, and offered her his arm.
She took it with a smile and allowed him to lead her from the chamber and toward the stairs. But his words lingered in her mind, even as they began to chat about far more benign subjects. The idea that she could do anything was one she had not yet fully pondered.
Because when she did, she knew that her fantasies about the future would all involve one man.
Dash didn’t always join the royal family for supper, but since the death of Giabella’s husband, he had become a far more frequent visitor at their table. The formality of their gatherings had decreased as their closeness as a group increased, allowing for it. Actually, a great deal of formality had shifted in the last eighteen months. For example, almost everyone exclusively called him Dash now, including the queen.
Tonight, he watched with a smile as the family chatted and laughed, the couples light and easy and playful with each other. It warmed his heart to see how settled they all were.
Of course, that led him to slide his gaze to where Giabella sat. She was a participant in the family dynamic, but there was something…changed about her. He felt it in the way she shifted in her chair, saw it in her eyes when she glanced down the table at him over and over again, igniting the longing that made his body feel like a coiled spring.
Even if it could never lead to anything.
“Do you know your final itinerary for the trip?” Ophelia asked.
Giabella smiled toward him once more. “Dash is the one in charge of all that. I intend to be surprised.”
He snorted out a laugh. “Can anyone actually picture that?” All the children laughed along with him even as Giabella blushed prettily. “Let me see. We leave in the morning and stay at Menington House the first night.”
“Oh, Menington!” Remi burst out. He glanced toward his wife, Priscilla. “It’s a royal residence along the route and it is splendid. Small and intimate with the most glorious views of the sea. It’s heavenly—I cannot wait to take you there. Assuming the state will allow it once the royal residences revert after the election.”
Grantham inclined his head. “I don’t see why it would be a problem.”
Priscilla smiled at Remi adoringly. “And I cannot wait to go. It sounds very romantic.”
Dash shifted. Good Lord, it did sound romantic. It was. And he would be almost completely alone with Giabella there. This entire trip was going to be a lesson in control for him.