“That doesn’t mean you aren’t having sex. You know to wear a condom every single time, right? Every time. You whip it out, you put on party clothes.”
She practically heard him clench his teeth. “We aren’t talking about this.”
“Your penis? Is this where I remind you I saw it before you did?”
“Mom!” He exhaled. “No one’s pregnant.”
“Okay. Just checking. I love you, Austin. I’m always here if you need me. Do you want me to come home?”
“No. I’m okay. I just need to think some things through. I love you, too. And, Mom? Don’t tell Dad to talk to me. I want him to make time on his own. If he won’t, then that’s a message, too.”
“Every fiber of my being screams at me to get involved, but I’ll respect your wishes. Why don’t you call me before you go to sleep and I’ll read you a bedtime story?”
“I’m eighteen, not five.”
She laughed. “Just checking. Because I would if you wanted me to.”
He chuckled. “That’s both really sweet and totally terrifying.”
He ended the call.
Robyn stood in the kitchen, wondering if her youngest needed her to come home. And while she fretted, she thought about how she and Harlow were now exchanging brief texts, but weren’t yet speaking. Despite how Harlow made her crazy, she missed her oldest. Why couldn’t they be friends the way they used to be?
“Didn’t someone tell me it got easier as they got older?” she murmured, thinking she really had to remember who had said that so she could call them a liar. Things were different, but in no way were they easier. Not in the least.
fifteen
HARLOW HAD NO idea how she got through dinner. She must have faked her way well enough because no one stared or asked if she was okay. She thought maybe she’d eaten something, although she couldn’t be sure, what with her stomach flipping and spinning as she tried to make sense of what she’d learned.
Kip had an ex-wife. Kip had been married before. He’d proposed, had a ceremony, gotten a divorce, and he’d never said a word to her.
She sat next to him, in his car, as they drove back to their apartment, not sure what to do or say or think or feel.
“You’re mad,” he said into the silence. “You have every right to be. I’m sorry. I should have said something.”
Something? He should have said something. “I think a more specific, ‘I’ve been married’ would be more appropriate,” she said quietly, knowing if she gave in to the hurt and fear growing inside of her, she might be overwhelmed by emotions she couldn’t begin to handle.
“Harlow,” he began, then sighed. “Yes, I was married before.”
The blunt words hit her right in the heart. Tears filled her eyes as pain ripped through her.
“You never said,” she whispered. “You never told me.”
“I didn’t know how. I was ashamed. I thought you’d think less of me. After a while, I didn’t know what to say. It didn’t mean anything.”
“You were married. That means something.” She closed her eyes. “You’ve done all these things with someone else. An engagement, a wedding.” The tears ran faster. “None of this is special to you.”
“No! Harlow, don’t. It wasn’t like that. We were both nineteen. We eloped. There was no engagement, no wedding. We got married, and six weeks later, we realized it was a mistake, so we got a divorce. End of story.”
But it wasn’t the end of the story, she thought as he pulled into his parking space. It was just the beginning of a nightmare. Kip had been married before. She was having trouble wrapping her mind around that truth.
“You should have told me.”
“Yes, I should have. I was wrong. I’m more sorry than you can know.”
She thought about how the evening had started, with him admitting to thousands of dollars of debt, and now this. She felt cold and sick and lost. She needed her mom, only her mom was a continent away, in Santa Barbara.
Still crying, she got out of the car and started for their apartment. Kip put his hand on the small of her back. She quickly stepped to the side, away from him.
“Don’t,” she said, her voice thick with pain. “Don’t touch me.”
“I know you’re upset,” he began.
She wiped her face and glared at him. “Upset? I’m not upset. Upset doesn’t begin to describe how I feel. You lied to me. You lied!”
“I didn’t.”
She hurried toward their apartment and fumbled with the key. After letting herself inside, she ran to the bathroom and locked the door. Once she was alone, she pulled out her phone.
She needed to get away from Kip. She needed to figure out what was going on. With her mom gone, the house was empty—appealing under other circumstances, but not these. She didn’t want to be by herself. Enid was living at home for the summer to save money, so that wasn’t an option.
Harlow quickly texted her brother.
Can I sleep on your sofa for a couple of nights?
Three dots appeared right away. Sure. I’ll even loan you a pillow.
Despite her pain, she smiled as she answered. Thanks. See you in a few.
She walked out of the bathroom and found Kip waiting for her in the hall.
“I didn’t lie,” he repeated.
She moved past him. “Don’t go there. You lied by omission.”
That was what got her. He knew how she felt, but he’d done it anyway.
Once in the bedroom, she pulled an overnight bag out from under the bed and opened it.
Kip swore. “You’re leaving?”
“I can’t think around you.”
“We have to talk.”
She looked at him, grateful for the bit of mad welling up inside of her. Anger was strength. Anger was safe. At least if she was pissed, she wouldn’t feel stupid and small and broken.
“You’re right, we do need to talk, but not tonight.” She wiped away her tears and glared at him. “You’ve had nearly a year to talk, Kip. You’ve had months and months to tell me about being married before and your credit card debt and who knows what else. So you know what? I get a break here. I get a little time to find my way through all this crap, and you just have to deal with that.”
Frustration twisted his expression. “You can’t run off at the first sign of trouble.”