“It was fun though,” Celeste said.
The girls shared a secretive smile and Chloe nodded. “Yeah, it was.”
“Does this feel weird to you?” I whispered into the dark.
Everyone had found somewhere to sleep a while ago. Nate was in his room, hopefully not with Chloe. Although after the way she’d cuddled up beside him during the scary movie, I wouldn’t be surprised. Zane and Kye had crashed on the sectional in the games room, and I had no idea where Miles and Celeste had disappeared to.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” Nix said, his voice gravelly as if I’d woken him.
“My mind is too busy.”
He shifted onto his side, toying with the ends of my hair. “Want to talk about it?”
“I thought we agreed no talking tonight?”
“Technically it’s a new day.” I heard the smirk in his voice.
“Technically, I said I didn’t want to talk about it yet.”
“B?” He pressed a finger against my mouth.
“Yeah?” I breathed, my heart beating furiously in my chest.
“Stop talking.”
“Okay.” Rolling away from him, I shrieked when he banded his arm around my waist and rolled me underneath him.
“Hi,” he said, his eyes twinkling in the dark.
“Hi.” I felt giddy. Drunk on him. On lying here with him in the shadows.
Leaning down, he ghosted his mouth over mine, a whisper of a kiss.
“Tease,” I said, a little breathless.
“You’re right, we should get some sleep.” He started to roll away from me. “It’s late and I—”
I grabbed his arm and pulled him down on top of me, wrapping my legs around his waist.
“B…” he warned, his voice cracked with lust.
“I want you, Nix. More than anything.”
I’d spent the last nine months uncertain of everything. The people around me. The staff at Albany Hills. My own thoughts and emotions. I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to believe in something real. To want something so much you felt like you wouldn’t survive without it.
“Not like this, not in Miller’s fucking guest room.”
“Please…” I lifted my hips, rubbing the growing bulge in his boxer briefs.
“Who’s the tease now?” He gently nipped my bottom lip, grazing it with his teeth, sending a violent shiver down my spine.
“This feels right,” I admitted, pressing my hand to his heart. “Me. You. Together in the dark.”
His eyes narrowed, a conflicted expression there. “You deserve to live in the light, B.”
“Maybe, one day. Now make love to me, Phoenix Wilder. Make me yours.”
“Fuck,” he breathed, sliding one of his hands down my waist and clamping it around my hip. “You deserve better, B. So much fucking better.”
I laid my palm against his cheek, and said, “It’s not about what I deserve, it’s about what I want. What I need, Nix. And it’s you. It’s always been you.”
Nix kissed me, sliding his hand in my hair and angling my face right where he wanted me. I loved the weight of his body on mine, the way our legs tangled, how hard he felt at my stomach. A thrill went through me as I glided my hands over his shoulders and down his back, feeling his muscles ripple and contract beneath my touch.
“Do you have any idea how many times I imagined this?” He stared down at me.
“Show me,” I breathed. “Show me everything.”
“Fuck, B.” His hand slipped between our bodies finding my center. “You’re so wet for me,” he rasped, sliding his fingers over my damp underwear. “I need to feel you.”
I nodded, lifting my hips slightly, silently showing him what I wanted.
Hooking the material aside, he pressed two fingers into me. A whimper spilled from my lips as he curled them deep. Nix watched me, every moan and whispered plea, as he worked me with his fingers. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted to feel him. I wanted him with me, inside me.
“Nix,” I said, breathless. “I want… you. Please. I need to feel you.” Curling my fingers around his wrist, I pulled his hand away. His eyes darkened, blown with lust as I stroked him through his boxers.
Nix grabbed my hands, pinning them on either side of my head as he rocked his hips into me.
“God, Nix.” I pressed my lips together, trapping the moans.
One of his hands slipped under my t-shirt, sliding up my stomach to cup my breast. “You are so fucking beautiful.” He leaned down, brushing his mouth over mine, teasing me with little kisses.
“Nix…” Frustration coated my voice.
“What do you want, B?”
“You. All of you.”
Some indecipherable emotion lit up his eyes and he pressed a quick kiss to my lips before climbing off me and padding over to his jeans. He pulled a foil wrapper out of his wallet and I arched a brow.
“Do I even want to know?” My stomach sank, but he stalked toward me, the intensity in his gaze breathtaking.
“Let me make one thing clear, B,” he said, inching my panties down until they slipped free of my legs. My t-shirt went next and then his, until we were both naked, nothing but skin and scars between us.
Nix tore open the wrapper and rolled the latex over himself, crawling over me. “It’s you. It’s always been you. I was too scared back then to take what I wanted. I’m not good enough for you, B.”
“Nix, that’s—”
“Shh.” He brushed his lips over mine again. “It’s the truth. Life by my side won’t be easy. It won’t be like… this.” His eyes scanned the guest room. “But I’m done fighting it. I lost you once, Birdie. I won’t lose you again.”
His words sank into me, stitching my heart back together.
Nothing would ever wholly fix me; I knew that. But being here with Nix was more than I could have ever hoped for.
His eyes met mine, his body trembling above me as he gripped my hip and slowly inched into me. “Okay?”
I nodded, clutching his shoulders as he filled me.
“Fuck, B. Fuuuuck.” He dropped his face to my neck, stilling inside me.
“N-Nix?” I croaked.
“Just… give me a second, yeah?”
My heart was a wild beating thing inside my chest. This was happening. Me and Nix.
Me and Nix.
And it felt so right, so inevitable, that a rush of emotion rose in my chest and exploded as he pulled out of me and slammed home.
Home.
Nix was my home, he always had been.
Harleigh
The next morning, Celeste and Miles left together to get breakfast.
Zane glared at their car as it disappeared down the street.
“Why are you acting so weird?” Chloe said, and he threw her a dirty look before storming off toward Nix’s car.
“Was it something I said?” She chuckled, but no one else laughed. “Harleigh Wren, don’t be a stranger.” She came over and hugged me. “You’ve got my number, use it.”
Oddly, her and Celeste had also traded numbers. But they had hit it off, the two of them more similar than I’d ever realized.