“I’m not wrong.” Her lip quivers. “You put the scarf in the desk to taunt me. It still has her blood on it.”
I brush away her tears with my thumbs and smooth the hair away from her face. She is so fucking beautiful. I remember when she looked at me like I was her hero. Now, I’m the enemy, and it feels like a betrayal. A hot knife in my back. I don’t know how to make her understand.
“Do you think I took enjoyment in what happened to your friend?” I ask her. “Is that really your opinion of me?”
She hesitates, her brows pinching together in confusion. It only lasts a moment, but that uncertainty is there. She just isn’t willing to admit it.
“Do you want to know what I think, Katya?” I graze the length of her arm with my palm. “I think you continue to tell yourself this story so you can hate me. So you can feel better about what you did.”
“What I did?” She glares up at me. “Are you seriously trying to tell me I’m the one in the wrong here?”
“You ran from me without waiting for an explanation. You took my child. And for four goddamn years, you left me to wonder if you were safe.”
Her eyes cloud with emotions, too many to recognize. She still wants to keep her secrets, but Kat will come to understand there can be no more lies between us.
“You said you were done with me,” she reminds me. “That I’d never see you again.”
“I came for you,” I tell her. “I came to protect you.”
“Or to kill me,” she supplies.
“Don’t you think if that’s what I wanted, it would already be done?”
She doesn’t answer, and the room falls silent. The truth is, she isn’t going to trust me. But her trust is irrelevant right now. Perhaps it is time to show my hand.
“Let me tell you how this is going to go.” I stand and drag the phone from my pocket when it signals another text. Vasily is losing his fucking patience as far as I’m concerned. It’s a problem I will need to contend with sooner rather than later.
“That drive you have stored on your computer at school?” I stuff my phone in my pocket and return my attention to Kat. “It’s going to disappear. Tonight.”
She blinks, her features pinching with frustration as she realizes the only source of protection she had against me is worthless now.
“It’s time to cut the bullshit,” I continue. “We’re going to have an earnest discussion about your past. I want to hear it from your lips. The truth. No more secrets. Keep in mind I already know a great deal about you, so if you’re thinking about lying to me, you may want to consider that.”
“Why does my past matter?” she bites back.
“Because I want to know you.”
My words shatter the anger in her eyes, but only for a second.
“Lev, this is crazy. You can’t just come in here and tell me what to do. That’s not how life works.”
“I live in a different world, sweetheart. And now, you do too.”
“What does that mean?” she demands.
“It means we have a child together, and if you think for one second you’re taking him away from me now, you’re delusional.”
“So, what then?” Her voice rises. “You’re just going to keep me chained to the bed and demand I do whatever you say? Is that it?”
Her attitude makes my cock twitch, and despite the seriousness of the conversation, my lip is already tilting up into a smirk. “I don’t see a problem with that idea.”
“This isn’t a joke,” she hisses. “I have a job. Responsibilities. Josh has school and his friends…”
“Your job doesn’t matter anymore. I’m here to take care of you now. I’m going to take care of both of you. Josh will have everything he needs and more.”
“Are you trying to tell me…?” She stumbles over the words. “Do you think you’re going to live with us?”
“Well, I sure as fuck can’t let you out of my sight, now can I?” I narrow my eyes at her. “You’d run the first chance you got, and then I’d have to track you down and do this all over again. As much fun as I’ve had hunting you, this game has grown tiresome, Kat. You’re caught. That’s it. It’s time to accept it.”
“You’re insane.” She shakes her head.
I lean down into her face, my lips a whisper away from hers. “Only because you make me so.”
She closes her eyes and shivers, and I wrap my fist with her hair as I drink from her lips again. This time, the fight has gone out of her, and as much as she might want to declare me a monster, her body says otherwise.
“I bet if I were to drag my fingers through your pussy right now, you’d be soaked for me.”
She shakes her head, her lips too weak to deny it. But it doesn’t matter because I can smell her arousal. I grind my dick against her hip, and she makes a sound in her throat that tempts me beyond reason.
“Tell me you haven’t thought of this,” I whisper into her ear. “Tell me you haven’t missed this.”
“I haven’t,” she lies through her teeth. “In fact, I have a boyfriend now.”
“Who? That fuckface Luke?” I bite her neck, and she freezes at the mention of his name. “Yeah, nice try, sweetheart. I know you don’t spread your legs for him. It would be hard for you, considering you could only ever think of me.”
I wait for her protest, but it doesn’t come. And the notion that I might be right has me so goddamned hard I could fuck her for two days straight and never be satisfied. My fingers slip down between her jeans and panties, and she shakes her head, suddenly frantic.
“Not while I’m handcuffed. Please, Lev.”
When I glance at her face, the fear there is real. And it’s enough to douse me with cold water. I drag my hand out of her jeans and force her chin up, so she has to look at me.
“Tell me why.”
“I’m afraid you’re going to hurt me.” Her body shakes under the weight of her confession, and it kills me.
“Then don’t make me.” I unlock the handcuffs and rub her wrists before I lie down beside her and tug her against my body.
For a second, she doesn’t move or even breathe. But when I wrap my arm around her waist and bury my face in her hair to inhale her, she finally lets some of the tension bleed from her body.
15
Kat
I close my eyes, and for the first time in four years, I feel myself relax. A tear slides over the bridge of my nose and drops onto the bed, and I give myself over to it, to letting go. It’s just for a minute, I tell myself. Just one minute.
Lev can’t be a part of Josh’s life. He’s a mobster. Him being in Josh’s life means Josh becomes a part of that world, even if Lev doesn’t want that, and I’m not sure what he wants. It just can’t happen.
But for one minute, I can let him hold me. I just need this little sliver of time.
He feels good at my back. Solid. And part of me wishes I could stay. Could let him stay.
All my life, I’ve relied on myself. I don’t remember my mother. I have nothing of hers, not a single photo, not one thing to even pretend I remember. To create a memory. I remember my first years in foster care, though. And the ones that followed and got progressively worse.