“Did you know?” North finally speaks, ignoring the rest of us and staying transfixed completely on his brother.
Nox doesn't say a word, just brings his burger up to his mouth and takes another bite as though none of the outrage is happening around him.
“Answer me, Nox. Did you know?”
I don't feel as though I should be here for this. It very much feels like a conversation between two brothers that I shouldn’t be present for, but when I flick my eyes back to Gryphon, he shakes his head at me.
“No, we are absolutely going to sit here as a group and have this discussion. Because this is big. The fact that these two have been lying to us about their bonds is a very big deal, and the fact that Nox has been a threat to you from the moment you have returned to us and then risked your life with his bond—”
Nox finally speaks, cutting Gryphon off. “If North's bond isn't a threat, then why is mine?”
He might as well have placed a grenade on the table and pulled the pin.
“Because you're a fucking psychopath,” snaps Atlas at the same time as Gabe drawls, “Well, if you're not happy about Oli being your Bond, then what's to say your bond feels any fucking different?”
North loses his cool and snaps, “We know better than to trust them! We have experienced what happens when you trust them, Nox. Don’t pretend this isn’t an issue.”
What the fuck does that mean?
Gabe tenses a little and puts his hand on my knee underneath the table, squeezing it gently in a silent show of support. Atlas is practically vibrating with his own pent-up anger at what’s happening here, but he keeps his mouth pressed firmly shut, which is progress.
A lot of progress.
Nox takes another bite out of his burger, the picture of nonchalance, and then picks up the small whiskey glass from in front of him as though all of this is incredibly boring. “You experienced it, brother. I have not experienced anything of the sort. My shadow creatures listen to my every command.”
North squints at him and then a slow smirk stretches over his lips. Again, it’s another action I do not ever see him directing towards his brother. “Do they, though? Because I'm pretty sure Brutus wouldn't still be with Oleander if you had complete control over him. You would never give one of your shadows away. Especially not to the Bond that you are so certain is a threat to you.”
This feels dangerous to me. It feels as though we're standing on the edge of Nox’s issues, and any little movement is going to set him off again, the way that my snide comments had unintentionally triggered him at dinner weeks ago.
“My bond gave her the shadow. If you're so concerned that my bond is going to attack her or hurt her in any way, then know that it gave her the creature. When she comes to sleep in my room at night, which all of you insisted on, even though I’d rather not have her there and I have fought from word go, my bond is the one who stays with her. My bond does not wish her any harm. I might, but the bond doesn't. If you have concerns, it should be about me, not it.”
Is it weird that those words all seem like a romantic gesture to me?
I've always found North's bond alluring, like a beacon calling out to me, and the thought that Nox’s bond might treat me the same way is incredibly tempting.
Gryphon gives me a very stern look, and my cheeks flush.
Don't you dare rat me out right now, I send directly to him and pray that no one else in my mind link can hear it. He flexes his jaw as though he's grinding his teeth, but he gives me the slightest nod.
He's telling the truth though, isn't he?
Gryphon sends straight back to me, no hesitation, The only thing he has any sort of a lie flagging for is that he might want to hurt you, and I think that that is the use of the word might, Bonded, so I think I will be chaperoning the two of you a little more.
I shrug, because I already knew that Nox has the capability to hurt me, he has in so many ways already, but I'm not scared of him, and I'm especially not scared of him now that I know his bond is in there and wants me.
I'm not particularly arrogant about the men that I have in my Bond Group. I don't feel as though they owe me anything or that they are tied to me without their own consent, but there has been a small part of me that feels as though I deserve the vitriol that Nox slings at me at every opportunity.
They all deserve to have a Bonded that is not a danger to them and society. They deserve to not be tied to a freaking monster. I still can't walk down the street in the Sanctuary, a place that I protected and saved from the Resistance without a second thought, without attracting the terrified looks and constant whispers of the people who live here.
I will always be on the outskirts of society because even though I may choose to use my Gift for good, I'm still a threat because people change. We know this from how many people have chosen to defect to the Resistance over the years, even after being brought up in good families and knowing better than to believe their rhetoric. I don't blame them for being scared of me.
I'm scared of me.
North gets up from the table, leaving his half eaten burger behind, and stalks through the house until he gets to my room, pushing the door open and walking straight in as though it’s his own. I think it's weird for about two seconds before I remember I'm the only one with working plumbing and assume that he's gone either to pee or splash water on his face to calm himself down so that he doesn't murder his brother.
Gryphon tucks back into his own dinner, chewing slowly and scowling around at random points in the room. I already feel sorry for any of his operatives who have to train with him tomorrow. He is not going to be a pleasant person to be around.
Nox finishes off the last of his burger and then pours himself another whiskey. For once, he doesn't seem in a rush to leave, and I don't know whether it's the alcohol dulling his sharp edges or if he is doing it out of spite because he wants to stay in everyone's faces while they digest the news of his bond.
“What did you say to North's bond when you spoke to it?” Atlas says, and Gabe gives him another stern look over my head.
“It's none of your business. That’s between the two of them.”
I shrug and dip one of my fries in ketchup before taking a bite. “North has always been really worried about his shadows. I wasn't worried, but I wanted to be able to give him a reason to not be as well, so I spoke to his bond before we… completed our bond. It told me that it belonged to me and it couldn't hurt me, that it was impossible for bonds to hurt each other.”
“Well, that's not true,” Gabe says, shoving the last quarter of his burger into his mouth all in one go. When I roll my eyes at him, he squeezes my leg under the table again.
“What do you mean?”
“North’s dad—” Gabe says before realizing that Nox is still sitting at the table and that it was his dad as well, giving him a sheepish side glance, but Nox is happily drinking the whiskey and acting as though none of us are even sitting at the table with him.
North’s dad.
I glanced at Gryphon. He still has that thunderous look on his face, but he's staring at me now as the pieces start to click together in my brain
“North’s bond told me that North believes the lie, and that's why he thinks that the bond and the shadow creatures can hurt me.”