The town wasn’t dead, exactly, but quiet, which put Linus at ease. He wanted this to go as smoothly as possible, so they could do it again after he left. The fact that he was thinking in terms of the orphanage remaining as it was never really crossed his mind. That would come later.
But those who were on the street didn’t do much to hide the fact that they were gawking.
Talia, nearest to the window, waved as they drove by a woman and her two children.
The children waved back.
The mother grabbed them and held them close as if she thought they were about to be snatched.
Chauncey, who sat on the opposite end of the bench, plastered his face against the window, eyes darting around. “There’s the hotel! I see it! Look at it! Look at— Oh. My. God. There’s a bellhop. A real, live bellhop! Look! Look.”
And there was, a thin man helping an elderly woman wearing an inordinate amount of fur from an expensive car. They heard Chauncey’s unholy screech, and Linus looked back in time to see Chauncey press his mouth against the glass and blow out a large puff of air, causing his head to expand.
The old woman staggered, hand going to her throat. The bellhop managed to catch her before she fell.
“Wow,” Chauncey breathed as he peeled his face from the glass. “Bellhops can do everything.”
It was going to be fine.
It was.
Arthur pulled into a car lot reserved for those headed to the beach. Since it was the off-season, it was mostly empty, and there was no one in the pay booth, which had been shuttered. He pulled into the first free space and turned off the van. “Children,” he said mildly. “Please exit the vehicle and buddy up.”
A herd of charging, heavily pregnant rhinoceroses would have been quieter than the children were at that moment.
Linus gripped the report in his lap as the van rocked back and forth. The third report was sealed in the envelope as it always was, stamped and addressed to Extremely Upper Management, care of the Department in Charge of Magical Youth. He thought about going to the post office first, but figured it would be best to wait until they were finished. No need for distractions. He set it on the dashboard.
“All right?” Arthur asked quietly.
Linus glanced at him before remembering how their hands felt together, and looked away again. Such frivolous thoughts. “I’m fine,” he said gruffly. “Everything is fine.”
“I believe that’s your mantra for today. You’ve said it enough.”
“Yes, well, the more I say it, perhaps the more it will be true.”
Arthur reached out and touched his shoulder briefly. “The children will be on their best behavior.”
“It’s not them I’m worried about,” Linus admitted.
“I distinctly remember a man who proclaimed he wouldn’t stand for rudeness. Quite the fierce sight he made. I was impressed.”
“You should probably get out more if that impressed you.”
Arthur laughed. “You are delightful. And just look! I am out here. Now. Let’s see what we see, shall we? We can’t stay in the van forever.”
No, they couldn’t, even if Linus wanted to. He was being silly, but he couldn’t curb the strange twist of dread in the pit of his stomach. This had been his idea, one he’d pushed for, but now that they were here?
He looked out the windshield. On the side of the building in front of them, under an advertisement for Chunky Cola—We Have All the Chunks!—there was a banner, reminding people to SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING.
“You have their identification papers?” Linus asked quietly.
“I do.”
“Okay.”
Linus opened the door and stepped out of the van.
The children had lined up in pairs at the rear. Lucy and Talia. Sal and Theodore. Phee and Chauncey. They had come up with their buddies on their own, and while Linus had figured Sal and Theodore would be together, the idea of Lucy and Talia was enough to send shivers down his spine. They tended to feed off each other. He’d had to tell Talia in no uncertain terms that she could not bring her shovel, much to her displeasure.
Which was why he was startled when Arthur said, “Phee and Chauncey, you’re with Ms. Chapelwhite. Sal and Theodore, you’re with me. Lucy and Talia, you are assigned to Mr. Baker.”
Lucy and Talia turned their heads slowly in unison, matching smiles on their faces that sent a cold chill down Linus’s spine.
He sputtered. “Perhaps we should—I mean, there’s really no need for—I think we should—oh dear.”
“What’s the matter, Mr. Baker?” Lucy asked sweetly.
“Yes, Mr. Baker,” Talia asked. “What’s the matter?”
“I’m fine,” he said. “Everything is fine. Though, I think it would be a good idea if we all stick together.”
“As much as we can,” Arthur said easily. His slacks were too short for his legs again. His socks were purple. Linus was doomed. “Though, I think most of them will get bored inside the record store, and who better to help Lucy choose music than you? Children, did you remember your allowances?”
All of them nodded, except for Chauncey, who wailed, “No! I forgot! I was too busy getting dressed! Now I’m broke, and I have nothing.”
“Luckily for you, I figured that to be the case,” Arthur said. “Which is why I gave yours to Zoe.”
Chauncey immediately calmed, looking up at Arthur in adoration.
Arthur looked down at his watch. “If we end up going our separate ways, plan on meeting up at the ice cream parlor at half past two. Agreed?”
Everyone agreed.
“Then let’s go!” Arthur said cheerfully.
Lucy and Talia immediately reached up and took Linus’s hands.
“Do you think there’s a graveyard here, Mr. Baker?” Lucy asked. “I would like to see it, if there is.”
“I told you I should have brought my shovel,” Talia muttered. “How am I supposed to dig up dead bodies without my shovel?”
Perhaps Linus was going to live to regret this after all.
* * *
As much as Linus tried to avoid it, they managed to separate from the group after approximately three minutes and twenty-six seconds. Linus wasn’t quite sure how it happened. One moment, they were all together, and the next, Talia grunted something in Gnomish that seemed to express extreme happiness, and they were pulled into a store, a bell chiming overhead as the door closed behind them.
“What?” Linus asked, glancing over his shoulder to see the others continuing down the street. Arthur winked at him before continuing on. “Wait, maybe we should—”
But Talia wasn’t to be deterred. She pulled from Linus’s grasp and marched forward, muttering to herself in Gnomish.
“Oh no,” Lucy moaned. “Of all the places we could have gone into, she picked the worst.”
Linus blinked.
They were in a hardware store.
And Talia was pacing in front of a display of gardening equipment, stroking her beard and inspecting each trowel and spade and fork hoe. She stopped and gasped. “These are the new B.L. Macks! I didn’t even know they were out yet!” She reached out and pulled a queerly shaped spade from the display, the handle adorned with imprints of flowers. She turned and showed it to Linus. “These are the top-rated spades in Garden Tools Monthly! I didn’t think they were going to be released until next spring! Do you know what this means?”