“Hi?” Shane said. Then he noticed how ashen Hayden’s face looked. “What happened? Is everyone all right? Come in.”
Shane carried Anya into the living room, and Hayden followed close behind. Ilya was standing at the top of the stairs, wearing only sweatpants. “Hayden?” he said.
“Sorry to show up like this, but um...can we sit, maybe?”
Shane sat immediately on the couch. “What’s going on?”
A moment later, Ilya sat beside him. Hayden sat in an armchair opposite.
“Have you guys been online at all today?” Hayden asked. “I’m guessing not.”
“No,” Shane said. “Why?”
Hayden blew out a breath and scratched the back of his neck. “Okay. So, um, you know how I did that FanMail video yesterday?”
“Yes,” Shane said impatiently. This was sounding less important by the second.
“The thing is. I was in a room that I kind of use as, like, a trophy room. Nice room. Big windows, lots of shelves, mirrors. Really looks good in the videos.”
“Very interesting,” Ilya said flatly.
“So the windows look out to the side of the house with the trees. And I wasn’t standing in front of the windows, because that always looks a little weird to be backlit like that...”
“Hayden,” Ilya said with a hint of warning. “What happened?”
“I was standing next to the trophy wall with the big mirror and the angle was, like, you could see out the window, in the mirror. I didn’t notice when I was filming, or, um, after I sent the video. But in the mirror you can see...”
Shane’s stomach plummeted. “What can you see?” he asked faintly, already knowing the answer.
Hayden scrubbed his face with one hand. “You guys. Kissing. Like, really kissing. A lot.”
Shane swallowed with difficulty. “Is it obvious? That it’s us?”
Hayden nodded. “Very.”
Fuck. Fuck. There had to be a way to fix this. “You only sent this video to one person, right?”
“Yep,” Hayden said. “And that one person posted it on Twitter.”
Shane couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t swallow. He was going to die from choking on his own saliva.
“I’m so sorry, Shane,” Hayden said. “I don’t really watch the videos before I send them. I never would have sent it if I saw, but I really fucked up.”
Shane couldn’t react. He didn’t know how to react. Eleven years of keeping this a secret and this was how they got discovered. A fucking FanMail video.
Jesus, was Ilya going to punch Hayden? Ilya was being oddly silent, but there was no way he wasn’t furious. Shane wanted to pre-emptively defend his friend, but he couldn’t. He was choking on rage and fear and humiliation, and trying to remember how to swallow.
They’d been so close to telling the world on their own terms. A few months. Fuck.
“Please say something,” Hayden said miserably. “I know you hate me. Just say it. I deserve it.”
Shane opened his mouth, then closed it. He wanted to say something before Ilya said something worse.
“It is okay,” Ilya said quietly.
Hayden looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. “What?”
“It is okay,” Ilya said again. “You have been a good friend. Kept our secret for years. This was an accident, and it is our fault for not being more careful.”
One of the knots inside Shane’s chest loosened. He forced himself to nod. “Ilya’s right. Of course we don’t hate you.” He managed to finally swallow and breathe. “So how bad is it?”
“Bad,” Hayden said. “The video is fucking everywhere.”
“What are people saying?”
“Mostly, like, ‘what the fuck?’ or ‘holy fucking shit’ or ‘is this a fucking joke?’ That kind of thing.”
“Oh god,” Shane said, and buried his face in his hands.
Ilya placed a hand on his back. “What are your teammates saying?”
“Mostly the same sort of thing,” Hayden sighed. “Practice is gonna be weird this afternoon. No question.”
“If I’m even allowed at practice,” Shane moaned.
“There are definitely people on the internet who think you shouldn’t be,” Hayden said. “But, y’know. Fuck ’em.”
“I don’t ever want to look at my phone again,” Shane said to his hands. “I’m going to throw it in the river.”
“We should call Farah,” Ilya said wisely. “She can help.”
“Right. Yes. This is definitely a job for our agent.” Shane dropped his hands to his lap. “God, this sucks.”
“Yes, but it is not so different,” Ilya said calmly. “We were going to tell people ourselves, but now we do not have to.”
“Because they saw us kissing on the internet.”
“At least they know we are great at kissing.”
“It was a pretty top-tier kiss,” Hayden agreed.
Shane refused to acknowledge that. “The playoffs start in two weeks. This is such bad timing.”
“Especially since it’s looking like our teams will meet in the first round,” Hayden added. Then he hunched his shoulders and said, “Sorry. Not helping.”
Shane stood and started pacing. “Fuuuuuuck,” he said, and kicked a dog toy that hit the wall with a squeak. Anya stared at him in what looked like admonishment, like Shane had no right to take out his frustration on innocent dog toys.
“Jesus Christ, what are we going to do? Fuck, what does J.J. think? Oh god.”
“Yeah, you’re gonna have to talk to him,” Hayden said. “He’s, um, not into it.”
Shane met Ilya’s gaze for a moment, and saw concern there.
“He’ll come around,” Shane said, mostly trying to convince himself. “It’s a shock. I get it. I don’t expect everyone to understand, but J.J.’s one of my best friends.”
Hayden stood, then bent to scratch Anya’s ears. “He’s not too happy with me either right now. I think his feelings might be hurt for being left out, y’know?”
Shit. Shane should have told him sooner. “Well. That’s on me. I’ll talk to him.”
Hayden left a few minutes later, but not before Shane gave him a reassuring hug. Hayden had done a good job keeping their secret. He didn’t deserve to feel shitty about this.