“So you were angry with me,” he said, and the more he continued, the more incensed he felt. “And once again, instead of coming to me, you decided to punish me by seeking Apollo’s help.”
Why was it always Apollo?
“I wasn’t trying to punish you. When I decided to go to Apollo, I no longer felt like you were an option.”
There was a pain to those words that lanced through his chest. Did she know how badly that hurt him?
“After everything I did to protect you from him—”
“I didn’t ask that of you,” she snapped.
“No, I suppose you didn’t,” he replied bitterly. “You have never welcomed my aid, especially when it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.”
“That’s not fair.” Her voice shook.
“Isn’t it? I have offered an aegis, and you insisted you do not need a guard, yet you are regularly accosted on your way to work. You barely accept rides from Antoni, and you only do now because you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Then, when I offer comfort, when I try to understand your hurt over Lexa’s pain, it isn’t enough.”
“Your comfort?” she shouted. “What comfort? When I came to you, begging you to save Lexa, you offered to let me grieve. What was I supposed to do? Stand back and watch her die when I knew I could prevent it?”
“Yes!” he shouted, throwing up his hands. “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do. You are not above the law of my realm, Persephone!” Not even he was above the law of the dead, and he wore that reminder on his skin. “I don’t see why her death matters. You come to the Underworld every day. You would have seen Lexa again!”
“Because it’s not the same!”
“What is that supposed to mean?” he demanded.
She crossed her arms over her chest once more. Each time, she flinched, and he thought that maybe her anger made her momentarily forget her pain. But as she stood there facing him, she seemed to fold in on herself, as if she were afraid to say whatever she was truly thinking.
“What happens if you and I…if the Fates decide to unravel our future? I don’t want to be so lost in you, so anchored in the Underworld, that I don’t know how to exist after.”
A thickness gathered in his throat. Losing Lexa to the Underworld was too great of a risk in the event that they did not make it, and the worst part was that everything he had been doing up to this point—the absurd labors, seeking out the Graeae, the truce with Dionysus—was for her. To ensure they had a future.
Was she so uncertain?
“I’m beginning to think that maybe you don’t want to be in this relationship,” Hades said.
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?”
She looked confused and afraid as she answered. “I don’t know. Just that…right when I was really starting to figure out who I was, you came along and fucked it all up. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. I don’t know—”
“What you want,” he finished.
“That’s not true. I want you. I love—”
“Don’t say you love me,” he said, looking away. “I can’t…hear that right now.”
The words would hurt. They did hurt. If she loved him, why was she planning for a future without him?
After a stretch of silence, Persephone spoke in a sad whisper. “I thought you loved me.”
“I do,” he said, frowning, and he considered that perhaps he put too much faith in the threads that wove them together. “But I think I may have misunderstood.”
“Misunderstood what?”
“The Fates,” he answered, eyes lifting to hers. How was it possible that she looked more stricken now than before? “I have waited for you for so long, I ignored the fact that they rarely weave happy endings.”
“You cannot mean that,” she said, her voice breaking.
“I mean it,” he said, and his tone was just as sad. “You’ll find out why soon enough.”
Because it was likely she would blame him for anything that happened to Lexa moving forward. He called up his glamour and straightened the sleeves and lapels of his jacket.
He looked at her one last time. She was a haunting image. Pale and sad and bleeding, and he knew he would regret leaving her like this, but he would regret it more if he stayed.
“You should know that your actions have condemned Lexa to a fate worse than death,” he said, then left Persephone behind in Nevernight.
Chapter XXII
A Desperate Plea
Hades tried to channel his aggression into a productive torture session, and while that usually helped lighten his dark mood, this time, it only succeeded in making him feel far more chaotic. He could not unsee Persephone’s pain, could not unhear her words.
You weren’t there.
The accusation tore through him as he considered what he would do differently, but did any of that matter now that they were here? On the other side of her decision to go to Apollo for help? She had explicitly broken the rules of his realm.
He wondered if she had been proud of herself when she’d discovered an alternative to healing Lexa in the God of Music. Had Apollo explained that his bow and arrow only healed bodily wounds? Had he been clear that it could not heal a broken soul? Had he been so mesmerized by Persephone’s offer of companionship that he’d failed to consider the consequences of his own actions?
Likely he had not cared at all.
And that was another thing—the companionship.
Hades gritted his teeth. Now he had to watch Persephone frolic about New Athens with the same god who had fucked his former lover, and while he felt that Persephone resented Apollo too much to fall victim to his wiles, he worried that the god would force her into situations that would harm her.
He’d have to think of a great enough threat to keep the god in line. Otherwise, he’d never feel comfortable with that arrangement.
When Hades finally left Tartarus, he went in search of the Graeae, finding them nestled in a rocky, cave-like area at the edge of Asphodel that mimicked their home in the Upperworld. While he did not approach, he watched them from afar, sitting on a set of large rocks while a fire danced before them. They talked and cackled and passed a bowl from which each of them drank, and the only solace Hades took from their deaths was that at least here, they seemed at peace.
* * *
Eventually, Hades returned to the palace, though he felt a great sense of foreboding knowing Persephone would not be there. It was made worse when he found his way barred by Cerberus, Typhon, and Orthrus. They stood on all fours, lips curled back, showing their teeth as they growled.