There was nothing she could say, because Teddy was right, at least a little. Her parents had included him on her list of eligible suitors for that very reason—because he was smart and mannered, and could chat easily with the sovereigns of foreign nations.
“Teddy…,” she began helplessly.
“It’s fine. I’m always happy to be your arm candy,” he replied, sounding so unlike himself that Beatrice recoiled.
“Stop being like this! You know I love you!”
He sighed, softening, and opened the door wider. “You might as well come in.”
It was a lukewarm invitation, but Beatrice came inside. Teddy sat on the edge of the bed, and even though she wanted so desperately to sit next to him, she perched on the edge of the armchair instead.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “You were right, I shouldn’t have told Louise about Connor. It was just…. I’ve never had a close friend before, not the way Sam has Nina. And it was so nice, taking to someone who’s struggling with all the same things that I am.”
“It’s more than the fact you told Louise about Connor,” Teddy said heavily, and Beatrice flinched a little at the strangeness of hearing him say Connor’s name.
Teddy ran his hands over the coverlet. “I’m not sure how I fit in your life right now. I always expected you to come first in a lot of things, as queen. But I hoped that I could help—be your ally, your sounding board. That when you wanted to talk things out with someone, you would lean on me.”
“I do,” Beatrice protested.
“Do you? Lately, it’s felt like the times you’re happiest are when you’re with Louise, doing fun single-girl things. Going to parties on a yacht and playing poker, jetting off to Versailles for the weekend.”
A flicker of irritation shot through Beatrice. “Those things weren’t as bad as you’re making them sound. I wasn’t acting like Samantha in her party-princess days, dancing on tables in Vegas. I went with a friend to see her sick father!”
“I didn’t mean it as criticism. I’m just worried,” Teddy said flatly. “Our political relationship is inherently imbalanced, but that doesn’t mean our personal relationship should be. I thought we were equal partners in this.”
“We are,” she insisted.
Teddy’s eyes were very blue and very steady as they met hers. “I’m not afraid of the life we’re building together. When I signed that document of renunciation, I did it gladly, because I knew it brought us one step closer to that life. But I don’t know if I can say the same for you.”
This time, Beatrice didn’t protest, because she had no idea what to say.
“Relationships always involve a measure of give and take,” he went on after a moment. “I’m not concerned about the fact that I need to flex for you and your position, but rather, that I’m flexing without any recognition on your part.” He paused. “You never mentioned the document of renunciation on any of our phone calls these past weeks, not even once.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to bring it up,” she offered, knowing it wasn’t enough.
“You could’ve started with thank you,” Teddy said quietly.
“Except I’m not sure I wanted you to sign that document at all! I’m scared, Teddy!”
His eyes widened a little at the vehemence of her words. “Scared of what?”
“I’m scared of being queen! I’m scared of feeling lonely. I’m scared my position will drive us apart, create a wedge between us as time goes on.” She swallowed. “Most of all, I’m scared of losing you. You gave up everything for me, and we don’t even have a job for you to do!”
Her words echoed around the room. Teddy splayed his hands on the mattress and let out a breath. “Why didn’t you talk to me about any of this?”
“I wanted to, but I didn’t know how,” Beatrice confessed. And then some spiteful and awful part of herself added: “I thought maybe you were keeping something from me, too.”
Teddy blinked. “What?”
“When we talked on the phone, I had this feeling that you were keeping something from me. I assumed that it wasn’t going well—training Lewis to be the future duke, transitioning everything to him. I was afraid to ask, because I didn’t want you to admit what was going on, in case it made you resent me.”
Something flashed in Teddy’s eyes, and Beatrice pressed further. “Was I right?”
“In a way, yes. You’re right that I was keeping something from you.”
She held her breath as Teddy knelt down to unzip the duffel bag on the floor—which was still neatly packed—and pulled out a black velvet box. “I was hiding this,” he announced, and tossed her the box. Startled, Beatrice caught it.
“I was trying to wait for the right moment, but I guess the surprise is ruined. Go ahead,” he told her. “You can open it.”
Her eyes stinging, Beatrice unclasped the box. Inside was a spectacular sapphire engagement ring. The deep blue stone was surrounded by a halo of diamonds, with sparkling pavé diamonds all around the band.
“It was my grandmother’s ring,” Teddy explained. “Apparently, when our financial situation was at its worst, my grandfather sold it. No one realized until I came back a few weeks ago and tried to find it in the safe. It took longer than I expected to track it down and buy it back from the jewelry dealer who’d ended up with it.” Teddy’s voice was rough. “Obviously, the Crown Jewels vault is full of rings, but…I wanted to bring at least one thing to the marriage, or at least, make this one thing about our relationship seem normal. I thought it was unfair that you had to propose and provide your own ring.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I guess I figured that since you proposed last time, it was my turn.”
Beatrice’s heart ached. That day when she’d proposed to him—when he’d gotten down on one knee and sworn to be her liege man—felt like a lifetime ago.
How had she managed to ruin everything?
“So, yeah. That’s what I was keeping from you,” he said flatly. “I would say there are no more secrets between us, but I’m not really sure what else you’re keeping from me.”
Carefully, Beatrice reclasped the box and passed it back to Teddy. “It’s beautiful. Whenever you want to ask, I’ll be ready.”
“But I don’t know if I’m ready,” Teddy replied, and she went cold all over.
“What do you mean?”
“I have a lot to figure out.”