“It shouldn’t. I’m just surprised. I’m still processing it.”
“Do you want to tell me?” The thing with Jana is I’m always afraid that if I push too hard, she’ll bolt.
“I’m starting to go through perimenopause. My hormones… although I don’t understand any of it, apparently my results tell the doctor that I’m one of those women who will go through menopause at an earlier than normal age.”
“Oh.” I’m a complete dumbass for not thinking of something better to say to make her feel better, but she didn’t want to have kids, so I’m not sure why she’s so upset.
“It’s just so final. You know? Not to mention all the other shit that goes along with it—none of it pleasant.” She blows out a long breath. “It might sound stupid, but it makes me feel… old. I don’t know. The not having kids thing is just one part of it.”
Fucking hell, what a day. First my mom and now this. “Does it change things for you?”
She’s quick to shake her head.
Relief washes through me.
“No, I still don’t want kids. But it was my choice, and pretty soon it won’t be my choice, you know? What if I change my mind in three years? Will it be too late?”
“That makes it sound like you’re unsure about your decision.”
She glares at me. “No, Kane, it means I’m upset because the choice is being taken away from me.”
I hold up both my hands. “I’m not the enemy here. Let’s remember, you didn’t want to date me because you thought I wanted kids.” I hate the anger in my voice, so I force myself to calm down. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to get upset.”
“No. You’re right. But you can relax. I’m not switching up the game. I just… I don’t know… I don’t know why I feel this way.” Her head tips down and a tear drops from her eye to the sand below.
I wrap my arm around her, and Rocky comes over, putting his head in her lap, and she pets him. We sit there until the sun descends, allowing her to grieve something she didn’t think she wanted.
The day I’ve been dreading arrives. The babysitting day. Jana has perked up a little since the call from her doctor. I’m pretty sure it was just shock about the news and nothing more. Mom is back home, and we’ve spoken. She sounds halfway decent, but Aunt Sarah is going to stay with her for a while. Lee plans to stick around there until we get the playoff schedule.
“I cannot believe you got us into this,” I say for the millionth time as Jana and I stand outside Ford’s house.
“You know what? If you don’t want to be here, then go. I’ll do it myself.”
I step back, surprised by her anger. “I just meant—”
“We’re doing it, Kane, so suck it up or go home.”
I cock my head, blinking at Jana for a moment until Lena opens the door, a look of sympathy already on her face. “Thank you both for coming. We so appreciate it. I promise we won’t be long. Ford’s dad said something about drinks, but I told Ford absolutely not.”
“It’s okay, Lena, stay out as long as you want,” Jana says.
“Well, come in.” She opens the door farther and motions for us to step inside.
We walk in and Annabelle runs to us immediately, clinging to my leg. “Swim!”
“No, Annabelle, I told you no.” Lena shakes her head.
Annabelle stares for a beat longer than I would think an almost-three-year-old would and stomps away.
“Don’t let her swindle you into it either. We’ve fed her, so just some snacks if she gets hungry. Believe it or not, she knows the stations for her favorite TV shows. Bedtime is at eight, and she likes a story read to her. Make sure the monitor is on, shut the door, and we’ll be home not too long after. I’m hoping it all goes smoothly.”
Ford walks down the stairs in a custom-tailored suit and flashes us his classic smile. “Got suckered into it, huh? I knew putting my sister in charge of recruitment was the right move.”
“When you get moved down to second line, you’ll know why,” I mumble, sitting down to help Annabelle with a puzzle.
“We’re here! So sorry we’re late. It was a nightmare getting out of the house.” Imogen walks in with Jalen in a carrier, and Warner’s arms are overloaded with things. Imogen puts Jalen down, then takes the Pack ’n Play out of Warner’s hands and sets it up in the corner of the room. “He can sleep in here. I’ve packed him three sets of pajamas. I hope that’s enough.”
“Aren’t we only watching him for one night?” I ask.
“Yes, but sometimes the diaper doesn’t keep everything in.” Imogen gives Jana an apologetic look.
I growl.
“My breast milk is here.” She holds up some bags and my eyes widen. “I’ll put them in the fridge. Feed him, burp him, and put him down. He’s been sleeping great, so crossing my fingers it’s all okay tonight.”
“So, we’re going to cross our fingers and hope? Good to know,” I grumble.
Jana glares over her shoulder at me, as she should. I’m being an ass tonight.
“We left you money for food on the coffee table,” Ford chimes in.
“We’re not fifteen. We can take care of our own food,” Jana says.
Ford moves his hand to take the money back.
“Leave the money, Ford,” I say, and he lifts his hand and holds it up. I’m not paying for my own dinner.
“Well, you all look gorgeous,” Jana says. “Now go have fun. We’ll be fine.”
Lena and Ford crouch to kiss Annabelle, telling her they love her.
“You know she’ll never remember this, right? Like, in the span of her life, you guys being away for a few hours is nothing.”
They both give me the same look as Jana. So yeah, I’m the designated asshole in the room for the evening.
Warner takes Jalen out of the carrier, and he and Imogen coo and tell the little guy how much they love him. Then they hand him over to Jana, who holds him out from her body by his armpits.
“What are you doing?” Warner asks. He looks at Imogen. “What is she doing?”
“Jana, sweetie, you can hold him like this.” Imogen takes Jalen out of Jana’s hands and lays him in her arms. “He likes that position more.”
Jana looks at the little baby, her entire body filled with tension. Maybe now she’s getting why I didn’t want to be here tonight. “Oh yeah, okay.”
The four of them look scared shitless to leave.
I raise my hand. “Remember you asked us. Not the other way around.”
“Kane!” Jana scolds. “We’ll be fine. Promise. I’ll call if there’s even the slightest hiccup.”
“Okay, you need us, call us,” Imogen singsongs before the door shuts behind them.
“I thought they were never going to leave.” I say to Annabelle, and she laughs as though she understands me. “What do you want to do?”
“Swim!”
“Cool, go get your swimsuit,” I tell her.
“Didn’t you hear Lena?” Jana asks.
“The little girl wants to swim. I don’t see the harm in it.”