As much as Mikaela and Nanna shielded their charges from the influence of their parents, even good nursemaids couldn’t stop children from growing up and making poor choices. Bernhard had gone his own way, and from what I’d heard, his son was just like him, although now fostered out to another nobleman and no longer living at Likness Castle.
Though I’d had Nanna’s gentle guidance and loving care, I hadn’t exactly led a stellar life either.
“So,” I said, turning my attention upon the girls. “Are these my nieces? Or are they angels visiting from heaven?”
My question earned giggles. And a widening smile from Mikaela, one that made her features come to life with a vibrance that never failed to light me up.
“If I had to guess, I’d say angels.” I crossed to them and crouched. “You’re too beautiful to be mere mortals.”
Again, they giggled. They were miniature versions of their beautiful mother. It saddened me to think that one day Bernhard would barter them to the highest bidders regardless of their needs or wishes, just as my father had done to my two older sisters. Or confine them in a convent like my younger sister Viola.
“Do you angels have names?” I asked.
Their gazes darted to Mikaela, as though gaining her permission to speak.
“Let me guess.” I tapped a finger against my lips, pretending to be deep in thought. Then I pointed at them. “You’re Rikissa. And you must be Renate.”
“Yes, how did you know?” the taller girl asked in an awed whisper while the younger one curled closer to her sister.
“As Mikaela knows, I’m incredibly intelligent. Not to mention witty, handsome, and strong—”
“And he has a very big head.”
“That too.”
Mikaela was still smiling.
Energy coursed through me in a way I hadn’t felt since the day I’d ridden away from her. Being with her always made me feel as though I could accomplish anything I set my mind to doing. “Now that we’ve established that you’re both angels, can you guess who I am?”
“You’re Uncle Gunnar.” Rikissa spoke solemnly. “Nanna told us you were coming for a visit.”
I pretended to look around to see if anyone was spying on us. “Did she also tell you my true identity?”
Both girls shook their heads.
I leaned in, and they did likewise. I had to bite back my mirth at how adorable they were. “Amongst my fellow Knights of Brethren, I’m renowned as the Slayer.”
“The Slayer?” Mikaela’s voice took on an incredulous tone.
“Yes.” I tossed her what I hoped was my most censuring look, although I was having a difficult time keeping a straight face. “I’m known for slaying . . . well, hearts.”
Mikaela snorted.
I straightened and pretended to take offense. “I beg your pardon.”
Even though she slapped her fists to her hips and attempted to glare, her eyes danced with merriment. “We will not be calling you Slayer. Not now, and not ever.”
I pressed my hands to my heart as though she’d wounded me.
The girls’ eyes bounced between Mikaela and me, trying but failing to keep up with our conversation.
I bit back my laughter and spoke as sincerely to them as I could manage. “I give you permission to call me Slayer—”
Mikaela shook her head, pinching her mouth closed.
“Or Happy?” I inched up an eyebrow.
“Uncle Happy?” Rikissa offered.
Mikaela tried to keep her lips together, but laughter pushed out, and in the next moment we were all laughing, the beautiful sound ringing in the chamber. As though sensing the laughter involved him, the cat stretched, jumped down, and waddled toward us.
“He approves,” I remarked as the cat rubbed against my leg, drawing even more laughter.
Before I could offer another jest, the door swung open, and as it did so, the laughter trailed away, leaving a breath of tension in its place until Nanna stepped into the room. Then the smiles came back out, reminding me just how swiftly the mood could change. And just how dangerous my brother’s house was.
I gave the cat a final pat before crossing to Nanna and enveloping her in a hug.
“Oh, Gunnar-boy.” She wrapped me in her arms tenderly. The top of her head and the veil she wore over her graying hair only reached my chin. A petite woman like Mikaela, she’d always had more energy than someone double her size. “I was hoping I’d have the chance to see you this morn.”
“Mikaela said you have a chill.”
“Oh posh. I’m fine.”
I could feel every bone of her ribs and every ridge of her spine through her garments. Even though she’d always been thin, she’d grown almost frail.
Nanna pulled back but held me in place, examining me from my head to my toes. Her warm eyes sparkled with delight, and I wish I’d made more of an effort to visit her over the past years. I could have, at the very least, come for a holiday. Instead, I’d accompanied my friends to their homes every time I’d been away from the king or court.
“You’ve grown.”
“Yes, Mikaela has already informed me that my head is bigger.” I tossed a grin her way.
But she’d turned her back on me and had resumed brushing Rikissa’s hair.
Nanna’s perusal ended with her gaze connecting with mine. Though her eyes remained welcoming, they also contained the same guarded warning as last time I’d seen her, when she’d sought me out to tell me that rumors were circulating about me and Mikaela being together.
“You cannot be seen with her again.” Nanna’s whisper had wobbled that dark night when she’d come to my chamber.
I’d wanted to protest. After kissing Mikaela at the hot spring earlier in the day, I’d had every intention of sneaking off to find her after everyone else was asleep for the night, hoping I could say farewell to her privately. I hadn’t wanted to admit I was hoping I could claim another kiss, this one longer.
Nanna had grasped my arms and dug her fingers in. “Please, Gunnar. If you care about her, then you’ll bring an end to the rumors. Tonight. Now.”
The urgency in her voice had halted my easy dismissal of her suggestion.
“If Bernhard discovers she means something to you, he’ll make her life miserable.”
The harshly whispered words finally registered. And I’d known Nanna was right. I couldn’t give Bernhard any reason to think Mikaela was special to me. He’d see how beautiful and vivacious she was. What if he ended up wanting her for himself? Or what if he used her, perhaps even harmed her, in order to make me do his bidding?
At the prospect, nausea had roiled around my stomach.
In all my interactions with her, I hadn’t considered what might happen to her if Bernhard discovered my feelings. Instead, I’d been selfish, thinking only of the present.
“Promise you’ll fix this and prove you aren’t singling Mikaela out?” Nanna had asked.
I’d nodded, knowing exactly what I had to do to show Bernhard I had no lasting interest in Mikaela. I’d guessed the rumors would also eventually reach Mikaela. But I hadn’t counted on her seeking me out and catching me in the middle of my charade. Once she had, I’d realized such a scene would prove to Bernhard even further that Mikaela meant nothing to me.