It was as if something clicked within her then, an instinct she’d been unaware of, or perhaps suppressing. She separated her hands until they were stretched out at her sides, the glow remaining with them both, until she fisted one set of fingers to snuff it out. She then tossed the remaining ball of light into the air, catching it with her free hand, before making a waving gesture that caused an arc of golden light to spread outward from where she stood, like a gilded rainbow stretching three feet, five feet, ten feet long before she called it back into herself. Only then did she release her hold on her power, the tingles and the warmth fading as the glow finally disappeared.
For a moment, Kiva stood there, stunned.
But then she heard a whoop sound right before Caldon lifted her off the ground, spinning her in a circle.
“I knew you could do it!” he said, dropping her back onto the sand and beaming widely. “Now we just have to work on building your endurance and refining your technique. How do you feel? Tired? Drained?”
Kiva felt neither, or at least not to the level she normally did after using her magic. It was as if, in not having to fight for it, to beg for it, she hadn’t wasted as much energy as she normally would. Her magic wanted to be summoned. It wanted to feel the joy that she’d just fed it, the love that she’d used to coax it out.
For the first time since she’d learned about having to counter her sister’s power, Kiva felt a stirring of hope, enough that she couldn’t keep the grin from her lips when she answered, “I feel good. Really, really good.”
Slowly, she turned to see what Jaren had to say, longing to see the approval on his face, perhaps even a smile — something that she missed more than anything.
But when she looked around, all she saw was his strong back as he strode away.
“Never mind him,” Caldon said, seeing her face fall and clapping her heartily on the shoulder. “We’re not done training. Summon your magic again, and this time I want you to try for fifteen feet. A straight line, too, like you’re aiming for a target.”
When she didn’t immediately jump to action, he tapped his boot on the ground and said, “What are you waiting for? Now, Sunshine.”
And so, Kiva turned away from the sight of Jaren unsheathing his sword and returning to his sparring, acting, once again, as if she didn’t exist.
Chapter Nineteen
That night, Kiva sat alone in front of the fire, a soft glow emanating not just from the flames, but also from the magic she held between her palms. She stared at it, amazed anew by what she could now do.
All day as they’d ridden through the searing desert, Caldon had remained by her side, making her call her power on command, and even send it toward their traveling companions, easing their riding pains from a distance. It had been so easy, so natural, that Kiva had wanted to laugh. She’d still needed frequent breaks when her energy waned enough to risk tumbling off Zephyr’s back — not that the beast would have minded — but she hadn’t suffered from the all-consuming exhaustion her previous life-or-death healings had prompted. Even now, there was merely a weariness in her body, similar to how she felt after a hard physical workout.
Caldon had said she needed to build endurance, and Kiva was determined to do so, knowing how vital it was for her to be in top condition by the time they returned to Vallenia.
“You’re really getting the hang of that,” Torell said, coming to sit beside her. None of the others were in sight, each having jobs to do as part of their nightly routine. Kiva had been allocated dinner duty that evening, and was carefully monitoring the stew boiling on the fire.
“I still have a lot to learn,” she said, banishing her magic before summoning it again. It was a basic strengthening exercise, one of the many Caldon had taught her that day. “Are the others back yet?”
Like every evening when they made camp, two of their companions had ridden out to scout the area, making sure there were no nasty surprises — or unwanted company — near enough to threaten them while they slept. Tonight, Caldon and Ashlyn had offered to go together, making Kiva’s heart warm for the siblings, who were slowly catching up on everything they’d missed in the last three years.
“Not yet,” Tor answered, feeding some twigs into the fire.
They’d been fortunate enough to find another oasis, this one considerably larger than the last and with more foliage — including a good amount of desert grass that the horses had begun devouring upon arrival. Tipp and Galdric were currently checking all the mounts and rubbing them down, and despite how far away they were, Kiva could still hear the young boy talking nonstop to the ex-rebel leader. She couldn’t make out the words, but his bubbly, happy tone made her sigh with contentment.
“Everything all right?” Tor asked, hearing the sound and looking at her with concern, his emerald eyes and dark hair both reflecting the light of the fire.
“Better than it’s been for a long time,” Kiva answered, thinking about the journey her life had taken over the last few weeks, a nightmare slowly becoming less so. She still had moments of darkness, her mind often plagued by memories of Zalindov or Navok or the arena battle, along with fears of what might be happening in Vallenia with Zuleeka and Mirryn. But right now, that all felt distant.
Carefully, Tor hedged, “Things seemed to go well with Jaren this morning.”
It was a leading statement, and Kiva looked around quickly, aware that Jaren had gone to refill their water skins and could return at any moment. “I don’t want to get my hopes up,” she said quietly. “But he seems to not hate me as much. Maybe. I’m unsure.”
“Have you talked to him?”
Kiva tossed her magic slowly from palm to palm. “Talked to him?”
Tor’s lips twitched. “Yeah, Mouse. You know, that thing where your mouth moves and words come out?”
Kiva pulled a face, causing him to chuckle.
“Seriously,” he said. “It’s been, what? Twelve days since you were reunited —”
“Thirteen,” Kiva mumbled.
“— and you still haven’t tried to explain everything that happened? Even I’ve spoken with him, sharing my side of things.”
Kiva’s eyes widened. “You have?”
“I doubt we’ll ever be best friends,” Tor said wryly, “but I’m not worried about him stabbing me in my sleep anymore. We’ve even been training together — haven’t you noticed?” He didn’t wait for her answer before he added, “Don’t get me wrong, it was one of the most uncomfortable conversations of my life. Owning up to your mistakes is never easy. It’s not meant to be easy. But it’s always worth it. I understand why you’re hesitant, but, well . . .” He frowned. “Actually, no, I don’t. Why haven’t you talked with him yet?”
Kiva rolled the tension from her neck, shocked that she’d been oblivious to Tor working on his relationship with Jaren. But even so, their situations were different. Tor wasn’t in love with Jaren — and he hadn’t betrayed him.
“It’s complicated,” Kiva finally said.
Torell snorted. “That’s an understatement. But it’s never going to become uncomplicated if you keep being afraid of confronting him.”