My mother bounced happily off the bed and went to check on my breakfast.
I was sitting up in bed rereading What to Expect When You’re Expecting when I heard a commotion in the front hall and knew that my friends had arrived. I marked my page, set the book aside, and listened to my mother’s welcoming laughter. This group of friends had been like second children to her when we were all together in college. After graduation, we went our separate ways, so there was plenty of catching up to do.
I waited in bed, but they took their time, and I wondered if my mother had commandeered them into the living room for her own little social gathering, but the next moment, Rachel appeared in the doorway with a bouquet of helium balloons, followed by Cassie and Amanda, who carried flowers and gifts. They took one look at me and burst into tears, but they were happy tears.
“Look at you,” Rachel cried. She approached the bed and wrapped her arms around me. The others gushed about how well I looked and how long it had been since we’d seen each other.
Kevin walked in next and gave me a less emotional greeting, a kiss on the cheek and a high five. “Congratulations on the bun in the oven,” he said.
“Thank you,” I replied and looked at each of them in turn. “It’s so good to see you guys. I can’t believe it. Sit down. Tell me how you’ve been.”
The ladies set the flowers, balloons, and gifts on the floor and climbed onto the bed, while Kevin sat on the upholstered chair by the window.
I looked at all of them with wonder, then realized someone important was missing. “Did Gabriel not come?” I asked.
Kevin gestured toward the door with his thumb as if he were hitching a ride. “He’s in the kitchen with your mom, talking about his parents’ fiftieth-wedding-anniversary party.”
Rachel gave me a look, because she remembered all the ups and downs of our relationship and how my parents had adored Gabriel, which was half the reason why we’d broken up. I just couldn’t take the pressure to hurry up and marry him.
“You smell great,” I said to Cassie. “What is that perfume?”
She rolled up her sleeve and held out her wrist. “It’s Opium. Yves Saint Laurent.”
“I love it.”
“That’s good, because I got you a bottle.”
“Oh!” I exclaimed.
“You never could keep a secret,” Rachel said. “Just don’t tell her what I got her.”
“I would never,” Cassie replied with a coy grin.
A light knock sounded at the door, and Gabriel walked in. He wore a navy cable-knit sweater over a crisp white collared shirt and loose-fitting jeans. His hair was longer than I’d ever seen it. He crossed the threshold and regarded me with a friendly, affectionate smile. “Hey there,” he said. “Long time no see.”
“Too long,” I replied as he approached, bent over the bed, and kissed me on the cheek.
“I’m really sorry about Dean,” he said in a soft voice.
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
He stood back and took in my belly bulge. “You look well.”
“Big as a barn,” I said, trying to sound lighthearted as I cupped my belly with both hands. “And how are you all?” I asked, not wanting to be in the spotlight the entire time.
Rachel launched into a dramatic tale of the holiday dinner with her gigantic family, which transitioned into a full hour of catching up on everyone’s careers and personal relationships. Only then did they broach the topic of Dean and his high-profile disappearance off the coast of Puerto Rico.
I told them what had happened that night, and Rachel held my hand.
“We were planning to start a family,” I said. “We talked about it that very day, but I had no idea I was already pregnant. I wish he could have known.”
Cassie rubbed my knee.
“That’s rough,” Kevin said. “I hope you know that we’re here for you if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” I replied, sitting up straighter. “You guys are the best.”
But even as I spoke the words, I knew we couldn’t be what we once were to each other when we were young and single and attending college. Rachel, Cassie, and Amanda were married now, and Kevin was living in California, still single but running a business that kept him tied down geographically. As for Gabriel . . . he was still in New York, but there was too much water under the bridge where he was concerned. Things still felt awkward between us, and a casual friendship with an ex-boyfriend wasn’t something I wanted. I only wanted Dean.
“So when are you going to open these gifts?” Kevin asked, kicking at one of them with his toe and breaking the tension. “And when can we pop those balloons?”
“We’re not popping them,” Cassie replied, feigning outrage. “That would scare the baby.” She leaned closer and spoke to my belly. “Don’t worry, little darling. I’ve got your back.”
I squeezed Cassie’s hand. How wonderful it was to be with good friends after so many months of solitude.
Kevin passed me a present, and I expressed my delight with a boxful of baby shoes in all shapes and sizes. “This should take us all the way to kindergarten,” I said.
Later, when it was time for them to go, they each kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye.
“Don’t worry. You’re going to be fine,” Rachel whispered in my ear. “And I’m going to call you.” I wondered if she would.
Gabriel was the last to say goodbye. “Let me know if you ever need anything,” he said. “I’m still here in the city.”
“Thank you,” I replied and watched him go.
A week later, Rachel did call, and she came again to visit—this time to tell me that she was expecting a baby as well. We had plenty to talk about, and from that moment on, we called each other every day.
My world changed after that. For the first time, I could see a light at the end of my tunnel of grief. My due date was only days away, and the doctors were assuring me that my prognosis was good. On top of that, I had stopped reading crash reports, and I no longer went looking for stories about the Bermuda Triangle. It seemed as if I was finally ready to give up my search for answers. What was the point, after all, when no answers existed?
CHAPTER 10
MELANIE
New York, 1986
I found it difficult to concentrate on my work the week after my light bulb moment in Dr. Robinson’s office. Mostly, I thought about Dr. Robinson and how brilliant and insightful he was. I imagined all sorts of scenarios where we might run into each other somewhere coincidentally, outside the office, and go for coffee or a walk in the park. I lay in bed each night imagining our conversations and all the things we would talk about. My dreams of those encounters soon evolved into elaborate fantasies about a courtship with dinners in restaurants and going away for a romantic weekend. A brief engagement. A wedding at city hall. A child on the way.
Needless to say, I fell behind in my work and spent a lot of time sitting at my typewriter, staring at the wall. I couldn’t wait to see Dr. Robinson again, and when I woke up on the morning of our next appointment, it felt like Christmas.
I rose from bed and opened the curtains, then made coffee and tried to write about zero-point energy. I wanted to expand on the Hutchison Effect and prove, through my lab experiments with high-voltage equipment, that if nature’s electromagnetic wavelengths and frequencies were sufficiently disrupted, it could cause an aircraft to disintegrate in a microsecond. Perhaps even disappear into another dimension. But the words just wouldn’t come. I couldn’t think about Tesla coils and electrical induction when I was in such a heightened state of anticipation about my four o’clock appointment. Adrenaline sizzled through my veins at the speed of light.