“I’ve treated many,” I replied. “Of course, I can’t talk about specific cases, but what would you like to know, generally?”
She sat forward. “Can you tell me about people who believe that their loved one is still present in their life? As a spirit? What makes them entertain an idea like that?”
“Well, let me see. From a psychological perspective, they are most likely having trouble moving through the stages of grief. They become stuck in the denial stage, which is where they continue to resist the reality that their loved one is truly gone. Are you familiar with the stages of grief?”
“Yes.”
“Good. So it’s my job to help them navigate through those stages to reach acceptance. Then they can finally let go and move on and find happiness again. In time.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe it might be true?” Olivia asked. “That the lost loved one is actually hanging around, and maybe they’re the ones having trouble moving on?”
I smiled at her. “Are you suggesting that I should be treating the ghost?”
She laughed and lowered her gaze. “That’s funny. Okay . . . let me ask you this, if you don’t mind. Do you believe in the afterlife?”
I shifted in my chair. “That’s a question I wasn’t expecting to be asked today.”
She apologized and tried to backpedal.
“No, it’s fine,” I said. “I’ll do my best to answer that.” I paused and thought about it. “I’m afraid I can’t give you a definitive answer, because there’s no real scientific evidence, so . . .” I gave her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. That’s not very helpful for your film, is it?”
Was her film really about grief? I wondered.
“It’s perfectly fine,” she said. “I get what you’re saying. How about we talk about dreams instead. They can feel very real. What can you tell me about patients who believe that their loved one is visiting them in their sleep?”
“That’s a very common occurrence, actually,” I replied, relieved to be back on familiar ground. “It’s been widely studied. Those types of dreams can be pleasant and comforting, especially when the deceased loved one is free from illness or is young again. But sometimes they can be disturbing. Either way, they usually have an impact on the grieving process, which can include increased sadness or also provide comfort. Both of those things ultimately bring the bereaved closer to the stage of acceptance of the loved one’s passing.”
Olivia watched me for a moment, then inclined her head. “Have you had any dreams about your aunt who passed away recently?”
The question made me pause and reflect upon my life over the past few months. “Strangely, no.”
It was surprising, in fact, considering the stress of it all, and I found myself looking inward and thinking of how I had been consumed by my complicated and confusing feelings about Melanie. I had been on a roller-coaster ride of emotions lately—at first desire, then guilt, shame, regret, and always an intense fear of our relationship being discovered. I had not often thought about Auntie Lynn.
“Statistically,” I said, “only about sixty percent of bereaved individuals experience vivid dreams of the lost loved one, and that is likely related to the fact that we only remember five percent of our dreams on any given night anyway. So maybe I have dreamed about her. I just don’t remember.”
Olivia nodded and consulted her notes. “Can you tell me anything about prophetic dreams that involve the death of a loved one?”
“What do you mean exactly?”
She sat back and tried to explain. “This is just one of many examples, but I read about a woman who was napping in the afternoon, and she dreamed that her sister was banging at the door and shouting her name. She woke up and ran to the door, but no one was there. An hour later, her brother-in-law called to say that her sister just had a heart attack at the shopping mall and died.”
I nodded. “I’ve also read accounts of people having experiences like that.”
“And how would you explain it?” she pressed.
I considered it for a moment. “Well. Think of it this way. There are just under five billion people in the world, and millions die every year. Dreams like that happen all the time, but not always when someone has died. The chances of those two events happening on the same day are not out of the realm of possibility.”
“So you think it’s a coincidence.”
“Probably.”
She studied me intently. “Do patients ever get frustrated that you don’t believe them? Or suggest that you should have a more open mind?”
“Quite often, as a matter of fact,” I replied. “But have you ever heard that old expression that if you open your mind too much, your brain might fall out?”
She threw her head back and laughed, while Brendan bent over the camera to check his focus and make sure he was getting the shot.
Next, Olivia asked me about end-of-life visions, where people in hospice care reported seeing their deceased loved ones appear in the room. “Sometimes it happens weeks or even months leading up to a death,” Olivia said. “Do you believe that this is truly a visit from someone who has already crossed over, or is it something else?”
I inhaled deeply and let it out. “In my professional opinion, it’s exactly what the term suggests. It’s a vision of a loved one. Something derived from the person’s imagination as a coping mechanism to help them deal with their fear of dying.”
“Interesting,” Olivia said. She asked me a few more questions about what sorts of therapeutic methods I would employ to help the patient move through the grieving process, then looked at Brendan and said, “Did you get everything?”
“Yep. Got it all.”
“Great. Well, I think that covers everything I wanted to ask you about.” Olivia closed her binder and rose to her feet. “I can’t thank you enough. This was really terrific.”
“Are you sure?” I asked as I stood. “Maybe you were looking for something more conclusive or inspiring about life and death and what lies beyond.”
“No, not at all,” she replied. “Not from you. What I was looking for today was a more grounded scientific approach to the subject of bereavement. I’ve already interviewed plenty of psychics and mediums and people who say they saw a pink haze over their bed after coming home from a funeral. You gave me exactly what I needed to balance it out.”
“Ah.” I was relieved. “That’s good to hear. And I enjoyed it.”
“I’m glad.” Olivia glanced at the clock. “It shouldn’t take us very long to pack up this equipment and get out of here. Do you have more patients to see today?”
“None at all,” I replied. “Dr. Weaver canceled all my afternoon appointments, so take your time. Can I help you with anything?”
“That’s very kind, but we’re okay.”
While she and Brendan packed up their camera and lights and moved the furniture back to where it belonged, I asked her about her film. “When do you expect to have it ‘in the can,’ so to speak?”
“It’s going to make up most of my grade for this semester, so I’ll need to turn in the final cut in a few weeks. This is my last year.”