“Admit what?” I grab the cards and shoot a murderous look at my baby brother.
“That you want to nut the nanny!” Calder cajoles.
“That’s enough,” I bark, dropping the cards on the floor again. “Show some fucking respect, asshole.”
My hands are shaky as I pick up the cards and picture her laughing at some guy’s joke. The young guys in Boulder are douchebags of top variety. They’re Instagram success stories who like to jog, pretend they like IPAs, and they likely have a dog they’re obsessed with. Basically, Dean fucking Moser.
He’s my friend, don’t get me wrong, but he owns the Boulder scene like no one’s business. And men outnumber women here by like five percent so if Cassandra’s “date” doesn’t work out, I’m sure all she’ll have to do is turn her barstool around to find another douche who claims to love brunching.
A bead of sweat forms on my brow as I sit up and find everyone staring at me.
Josh is the first to break the silence. “I saw this coming on the first weekend. You were way too interested in her backstory. Obsessed almost.”
“I wasn’t obsessed. I was annoyed because she’s secretive as fuck. She makes me crazy.” I toss the cards down on the table with a huff.
“Something’s already happened, hasn’t it?” Dean leans forward and eyes me closely.
I clench my jaw and debate the fallout of answering this question. Telling them I attacked Cassandra in the guesthouse isn’t a good look for me. But these crazy thoughts aren’t going away, and if I can trust anyone with this heavy burden on my mind, it’s the men at this table.
Shoving a hand through my hair, I mumble, “I stopped it before it got too far.” And I’ve been living in a constant state of regret that usually ends with a hard-on after I replay every second of that night in my mind.
They all make knowing sounds.
“And you let her go out on a double date with Blondie?” Calder hooks his thumb over his shoulder. “Rookie mistake, man.”
“What was I supposed to do? Club her over the head and drag her back to my bedroom? She’s my kid’s nanny.”
“Who cares?” Dean asks seriously. “I was an investor in Norah’s bakery and look how we turned out.”
“What you and Norah have is not what I want with Cassandra.” It’s not what I want with any woman. I grip the back of my neck and sigh. “I just…can’t get her out of my head. And last night, she told me she was looking for a summer fling, and ever since then, I can’t fucking see straight.”
“If she said she was looking for a summer fling, she was giving you the green light, man,” Calder declares knowingly.
“I hate to agree with him, but I do,” Josh confirms. “Plus, she’s not some young chick fresh out of college who you’re taking advantage of. She’s a grown woman with life experience. Hell, she graduated from college at nineteen.”
I lock eyes with my best friend, whose words are never given lightly. Josh is a zero-bullshit kind of person and does not shy away from conflict. If he thinks someone is phony, he’ll say it.
So the fact that he doesn’t think it’s fucked up of me to pursue the woman taking care of my kid for the summer gives me the glimmer of hope that I’ve been denying myself for the past twenty-four hours. Hell, maybe even the past three weeks.
Cassandra Barlow has consumed all my thoughts with her lush curves, her tropical scent, and her insane ability to make even the most mundane tasks interesting. Maybe if I fuck her, I can get past this ache in my body and feel like myself again.
Dean laughs as he stares at his phone. “Got it.”
“Got what?” I ask, my brows furrowing.
He turns his screen to show me an Instagram story of Cassandra and Dakota taking a shot at the bar. There are two dudes with them, and they all laugh as Cassandra begins to gag and whack the tall guy with long brown hair tied up in a bun for forcing her to take the shot. I narrow my eyes to look a little closer and recognize the place they’re at.
“That’s some stealthy fucking internet trolling, my dude,” Calder says, bowing his head to Dean like he’s bestowing him with some great honor.
“All in a day’s work.” Dean adjusts his glasses and turns to me. “Now the only question is, what will you do with this information?”
I look around the table at everyone staring expectantly back at me. I have never been inspired to stalk a woman before. In fact, I rarely even have to try to get the women I’m interested in. Going to the bar she’s at would be seriously fucking insane. But perhaps Cassandra’s weird brings out my weird.
I shove my chips into the middle of the table. “Fuck it. I’m all in.”
Booze makes Jeff funnier, which is highly important because Dakota’s lips have been permanently locked with Randal’s for most of the night. Honestly, it’s like we’re back in high school again. If they’re not making out, they’re whispering into each other’s ears and giggling like a couple of school children. It’s highly annoying.
But I’m not going to begrudge her making a connection with the guy. I’m happy for her. And I’m happy to be out with a group and enjoying life outside of Max Fletcher’s bubble.
Sure, Jeff doesn’t give me that warm, gooey sensation whenever he looks at me. But I’m having a nice time with him, and that should count for something.
This is exactly what I needed to get my mind off Max. I just had to put myself out there and remind myself I am capable of flirting and finding a summer fling without crazy mind games. This is the kind of shit you do on a gap year!
“Jeff, I have to ask you a strange question,” I blurt out, taking a sip of my drink.
“I love your strange questions,” he muses and sips his IPA beer.
I lean forward and run my finger along his brow line, my eyes marveling at how perfectly shaped they are. With a giggle, I ask, “Are your eyebrows natural, or do you use a serum because I’ve never seen such full eyebrows in my entire life.”
His shoulders shake, and he nearly falls off the stool with a bizarre silent laugh. He presses a hand to his chest, and his voice is high-pitched when he cries, “What the fuck is a serum?”
“Like something that makes eyebrows grow thicker!” I reply, laughing hysterically at his comedic reaction.
His smiling eyes widen. “People actually want big eyebrows?”
My nose wrinkles as I chuckle. “Yes. Seriously, if you’re using a product, fess up because you have the most stunning brows I’ve ever seen on a man or a woman!”
He props his elbow on the bar and covers his face, still in stitches over the topic of our conversation. He’s obviously drunk, but it’s cute, and I live to amuse.
He wipes some errant tears out of his eyes and sighs loudly. “You are one of a kind, Cozy Barlow.”
“I’ve been getting that a lot these days,” I murmur as Max’s annoyingly handsome face invades my thoughts.
A clammy hand lands on my bare leg, and I look over to see Jeff no longer smiling. In fact, his face has grown super serious. His eyes are hooded and locked on my lips. “I’m so glad this is finally happening, Cozy.”