I cringed at that thought. “I’d never do that,” I said with vehemence.
She smiled. “I know. That’s the point. You’re not like him.” She threaded our fingers together. “It’s hard. All of it is hard. I know all about hard. I lost my mom when I was fourteen. Then, Campbell left for LA the following year. Hollin was in college. It was just me and Dad, and he was grieving. So, it felt like it was I was all alone. We’re all close now, but we’re still recovering from the wound that her absence left behind.”
“Growing up like that must have been difficult,.”
“It was isolating. My brothers weren’t around much, but just enough to scare off any boys who might have shown interest. My dad was a shell for the first year, and by the time he started noticing me again, he became super protective as well. I wasn’t always close with my mom, but life would have been different with her still here. Sometimes, I feel guilty, thinking life would have been better. That I would have had some defense against everyone’s protective instincts.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty about that. Of course you want your mom back.”
She pressed a kiss to my lips. “We’re both a little fucked up, aren’t we?”
I chuckled. “Did you have a childhood if you aren’t?”
“Fair. What are you going to do about your dad?”
I sighed heavily and rolled onto my back. She snuggled in close, laying her head on my chest.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to decide today. Just leave the door open. You’ll know what to do when the time is right.”
“Thanks, Nor,” I said, running my fingers back through her hair.
“Of course.”
Her breathing slowed again, and then when I was sure that she was asleep, I reluctantly withdrew. I looked down at this beautiful girl and wondered if she was right. Was I really nothing like my dad? Because at times, I felt like I was following in his footsteps, and I hated myself for it.
I headed back to my room alone. I’d almost fallen asleep when I’d been at Nora’s side. Now, I stared up at the ceiling, wishing for that same comfort and finding none of it.
22
Nora
Waking up alone in that hotel room made me sad.
I’d told West that none of it mattered. In fact, I basically convinced him that this was all peachy. I hadn’t wanted him to think that he was like his dad. Because he wasn’t.
And still, I’d been sad when I woke up.
I’d agreed to all of this. I wanted that fun fling since I’d never done anything like this before in my life. But I wasn’t supposed to develop real feelings. I wasn’t supposed to have feelings about him being gone from my bed.
Not that I planned to tell him that. He was stressed enough with the band and now his dad. We were having fun for the few weeks before he went back to LA. This didn’t have to be complicated.
It would be better when we returned home. We lived together, so there was less sneaking. I could wake up in his bed any day of the week if I wanted. And I did most nights of the week. He spent a lot of time at the condo Campbell had purchased in town, going over stuff for the album release.
I could feel the clock ticking on our tryst.
It was easy not to think about it, considering wedding season was in full swing. Jordan and Annie’s wedding had basically kicked off my busy season. I was at work from sunup until sundown almost every night. Every Friday and Saturday night and even some Sunday afternoons, there were local weddings at Wright Vineyard. The only thing I had time for other than my job was crashing into West’s bed at night and soccer on Sunday nights.
“I’m going to be late,” I grumbled as I strode into the house on my four-inch high heels.
“We still have time,” West said. He was playing a video game in the living room but gave up as I ran into my bedroom to change into my soccer uniform.
The Tacos were playing the indoor soccer championship tonight, but my wedding had run late, and thus I was running late for the game. Fewer players played on an indoor pitch, but Annie had been called in to the ER unexpectedly, Cézanne hadn’t been able to play all season, and Eve had a house to show, so she wouldn’t make it until the second half.
Which meant, without me, they would be playing a man down. In the championship.
“Just imagine if I could work less,” I said as I tugged my shirt over my head and snatched up my bag. I threw him the keys to my truck.
“You could work less,” he said.
I almost growled at him. That was how little downtime I had. “I could, but I don’t know how not to hustle.”
“I get it. It’s hard when you’re following your dream job.” I scoffed, and he glanced over at me in surprise as we got into the truck. “What? Wright Vineyard isn’t your dream job?”
“Dream implies something I fantasize about. What person fantasizes about working a hundred hours a week from April to October?”
“Fair. What would your dream job be then?”
“If I had my pick…I’d work a handful of fabulous weddings a year. I’d get these incredible, outrageously expensive weddings, and my fee would cover my expenses for the rest of the year. Then, I could travel the world. I mean, even getting to go away during the summer would be nice.”
“That does sound like a dream.”
I sighed and kicked my feet up on the dash. “Not that it seems likely.”
“You never heard from English?”
I frowned and looked down at my clasped hands. I’d told West about that interaction in New York City. He’d been excited for the opportunity for me, but it wasn’t like she’d been serious. “No. I haven’t heard from her. She was probably in the moment.”
“Maybe.”
“Anyway, I need to tell Hollin that we need to hire someone else. We could bring Tessi on full-time and get a few more assistants since the wedding business has burgeoned so dramatically.”
“Do that,” he said automatically. “I don’t like to see you this stressed.”
“I’d be less stressed if I wasn’t going to be late to this game.”
“We’re going to make it,” Weston said. “And I called Harley earlier when you said you’d be late. She played in high school. She was excited to cover for you. She might already be there.”
I blew out a breath of relief. That did make me feel better. But I detested being late for anything.
West’s phone beeped as we turned off the loop toward the indoor complex. “That’s Harley. She said she’s there. Isaac gave her Annie’s uniform. So, you can breathe.”
“Fine. Fine. But it’s the championship game.”
He reached across the dash and took my hand. “It’ll be fine.”
“With my luck, Harley will be better than me, and they won’t want to sub me in.”
I wasn’t that bad, but I’d only gotten into soccer for The Tacos. Originally because August was so good at soccer that he wanted to play on Hollin’s team. I’d agreed and worked hard to be good enough to be on the team. I’d once told Hollin that my breakup with August was worse for the team, and he’d scolded me. Not because I was better than August, but because we had gotten Eve out of the situation, and she was way better than him.