"Lee, I'm so sorry. We're so sorry. We wanted to do the right thing and only made a complete fucking mess of it all." Everard reached out, hesitated, then let his hand fall. "Lee, we love you. We've loved you for a long time, and we never stopped."
"Then why did you cast me aside!" Leonine burst out. "I needed you, I saved you and you— I wasn't enough." His vision blurred, and he pressed the heels of his hands to his forehead. "Too much trouble and not enough of anything to be worth keeping, that's what I am. You threw me out like everyone else." He jerked back, turned to do something, though gods if he knew what.
He hadn't made it more than a step when Everard pulled him back, pull him close, against that large, warm chest, wrapped in those strong arms, right where he'd always thought he'd belonged, until they'd reminded him that nobody ever really wanted him. Not like this. Not forever.
"I don't understand what's going on," Leonine finally said, pulling away, hating himself for his stupid tears, for appearing so pathetic in front of his former lovers.
"You've never been too much trouble, Lee," Everard said quietly, the most somber Leonine had ever seen him. "We lied. We… we were ashamed we'd caused you so much trouble, that we were so easily overtaken and used against you and… we always knew we weren't good enough for you. We hesitated for weeks about approaching you, certain we weren't worthy of your time and attention."
Leonine stared at them, wide eyed and lost. "What?" That was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard.
"Sit down, Lee, before you fall over. Eat something," Odilia said, and before he could protest, muscled him into the closet chair and set a filled plate in front of him. "You're a knight. You're young. Beautiful. Highly sought-after and well-liked by everyone. It was clear to all of us that someday you'd marry into noble, or even royalty. Someone worthy of you. Why would you waste any of your time on a pair of old innkeepers? You did though," she added sadly, sniffling. "You did waste your time on us, as little of it as you had between training and helping Sir Cimar."
"It was never a waste," Leonine said, staring at his food but not remotely hungry anymore. "I'd watched you two for ages. I never thought you'd turn your attention to me, and never in my wildest imaginings did I think you'd invite me back over and over. It seemed completely reasonable that you finally got tired of me and didn't want to deal with being in danger because of me." It had been a stab through the heart, but reasonable.
"Lee…" Odilia threw herself into his lap again and clung like ivy, warm and soft, reassuring even as the whole situation left him floundering. "After— After those cretins tried to use us against you, it only reaffirmed for us that we weren't good enough. That we'd be a perpetual weakness to be used against you. You belonged with a duchess, or a prince, someone with money and resources, who was too powerful to be used against you, who could stand with you as an equal." She swallowed, forehead pressed against his, eyes pinched shut. "Someone who wouldn't hold you back. We also knew you wouldn't listen if we said all that, so… so…"
"So we lied and drove you away," Everard said. "It was the hardest thing we've ever done, and we regretted it before we'd even finished doing it. We still think you're too good for us, Lee, and our choices—the pain we've caused you—might be unforgiveable, but… we thought you were dead, lying there in the snow. There was so much blood." He covered his eyes, but tears escaped anyway. "I never want to see that again. Especially since I can't help but feel it was our fault, causing you additional turmoil when you needed to focus on your mission."
Leonine opened his mouth. Closed it. Repeated the movements. Words wouldn't come. He didn't even know how he felt. Angry? Hurt? Confused? Relieved? All of it and more. "You… you don't hate me? You don't think I'm too much and yet not enough?"
"No, Lee!" Odilia said, throwing her arms around his neck and holding him tight. "We love you. With all our hearts we love you and have only ever wanted what was best for you, even if that wasn't us. I still don't think we are, but would you give us a second chance anyway? I promise we'll do everything in our power to earn it."
"All I ever wanted was to be with the two of you. Why did you take my decision away from me? It wasn't your right to make my choices for me," Leonine finally managed. "I loved you. I risked everything for you. And you cast me aside for my own good?"
Everard's face fell, and until then, Leonine hadn't realized just how much hope had filled it. "We're sorry, truly. We know it was stupid and wrong. I don't know what to say, except that we foolishly thought we were doing the right thing. We wanted to help, and we did it the worst way possible. Is there anything at all we can do to fix this?"
"I don't—" Leonine stopped as Odilia started to slide from his lap. Slink, rather, like she was suddenly ashamed of herself for being there. It was the last thing he wanted though, still more distance between them all. He'd never wanted the distance in the first place. He was angry and hurt, and his pride wanted to tell them to get the fuck out, he didn't need people who were going to make such important decisions without having the decency to treat him like an equal in the matter…
But he didn't want them to go. He wanted Odilia right where she was, and Everard there with them. His pride wasn't more important than the two people who meant the most to him in the whole damned world.
Holding her tight, not letting her slink away, Leonine finally said, "Don't leave me again. Don't cast me aside. Not unless that's what you really want. If our relationship ends, then it ends, but don't end it because you're doing 'what's best for me,' that's not your right. You weren't a weakness in my eyes. If you'd bothered to talk to me like you should have, I'd have said you were my greatest source of strength, you stupid clods."
Letting out a cracked, broken noise, Odilia sank her fingers into his hair and dragged him into a kiss, mouth impatient and overeager, but so sorely and desperately missed that Leonine really didn't care about the details right then. He looped an arm around her shoulders and held her close, kissing back with equal fervor, all the cracks and crevices caused by their abandonment beginning slowly, very slowly, to fill.
When they finally broke apart, Odilia was scooped out of his lap and set on her feet, and then Leonine was pulled to his feet and swept up in Everard's arms. "We're sorry, Lee, with all our hearts, I swear to you we're sorry. If you'll give us one more chance, I promise we'll make this right, whatever it takes, however long it takes."
"Shut up and kiss me already."
Everard obeyed, and Leonine moaned as the cracks filled a little bit more, some of the bruising on his heart easing. They still wanted him. They loved him, which they'd never said before.
"So you'll give us another chance, Lee?" Odilia asked when Everard eventually set him on his feet. Leonine had missed how easily Everard could manhandle him.
Leonine wiped his face, still feeling foolish at all the crying he'd done lately. "Of course I will. I never wanted to leave your sides. Why did you have to make everything so needlessly complicated?"