“My daddy!” Brayden exclaims proudly.
For once, the reminder of Trevor doesn’t make the pot of anger stir in my chest. This time, I smile. Brayden always did love the exploding fist bump.
Hope’s eyes light up. “Has Brayden seen the ponies yet?”
Brayden gasps excitedly in Violet’s arms. “I wanna see!”
“Wait,” Anderson says, looking between us. “I need to talk to Jami and Vi.”
Hope holds out her hands. “No problem. I can take Brayden to see the ponies while you three have your boring adult conversation.”
Violet tilts her head at Hope’s offer. “You sure? This should only be a minute.”
Hope grins and gestures with a wave of her hand for Brayden to come with her. “I’m positive. I was heading to go visit them anyway.”
Brayden wiggles his legs for Violet to set him down, so she plants him on his feet with a smile. “Alright, have fun.”
Hope takes Brayden’s hand like they’ve done it a million times before and take off for the stable.
“What’s up, brother?” I ask once Hope and Brayden are out of earshot.
“Hope and I organized a private event at the saloon tonight for some potential investors.”
I shift slightly, feeling myself transform into business mode. “Investors for what?”
“We’ve been wanting to redo the sports field for ages to install permanent bleachers and update the field for our multipurpose events. Turns out, it’s going to take a shit ton of extra cash to get that done, so we’ve been searching for investors. Anyway, we were going to have it at the Barnacle down the road, but why would we when we can just hold it here while showing off our offerings?”
Usually it’s my choice to take or leave ideas like this one, but from everything I’ve already heard, Anderson has put a lot of thought into this. “Okay. We’ll make it happen.” I turn to Violet, remembering Brayden. “Well, I can make it work tonight. Violet has the night off.”
She smiles at me then turns to Anderson, adopting an apologetic glance. “I have Brayden until Thursday. I wasn’t planning to work any shifts at the saloon until then.”
Anderson lights up. “Maybe he would want to hang with the camp kids. They’re having a farewell party tonight in the cafeteria. We hired a DJ and everything. And we have one of our counselors dedicated to the younger kids. He’ll have a blast.”
Violet looks like she’s still contemplating the idea, and I wish I could understand her hesitation. Hopefully it doesn’t have to do with me and what happened between us last night.
“I don’t know,” she says. “Let me talk to Brayden about it. Maybe if I walk into the party with him and get a gauge on if he wants to stay or not, I can decide then.”
Anderson nods. “Of course. The counselors there can answer all of your questions. If you do drop him off and then he asks for you, we’ll make sure you know right away.”
After it seems like they’ve made an agreement of some kind, Anderson jogs off toward the barn, leaving Violet and me alone. She opens her mouth to say something, but I start first.
“I’m sorry for getting heated last night, and for… other things. I shouldn’t have crossed that line with you.”
Sighing, she shakes her head. “So, we’re back to that, huh? More useless boundaries.”
“I’d hardly call them useless. I don’t want you quitting because I overstepped. Like I said, I’m sorry about that. You should know I’m shit at reading the room, especially when it comes to you.”
She growls and takes a step toward me. “Stop doing that. Stop second-guessing everything we had before just because I…” She shakes her head. “You know how complicated things got back then. You weren’t yourself anymore.”
He frowns. “What does that mean? I was always me. And my feelings for you never changed. I even told you that, Vi.”
She squeezes her eyes shut. “I know. And I loved everything you told me because I felt the same way.” Her expression is filled with so much sadness, I don’t know what to believe. “I wanted you, Jami. I wanted you to be my forever.”
I take a step toward her, closing the gap between us. “Then tell me what the fuck happened that changed your mind. I just need to know.”
She looks back at me for the longest time. I almost think she’s not going to say anything at all… and then she does.
“Somewhere between you and me trying to figure out if we were friends or something more, you and your dad were going at it more times than not. It just felt like all your focus was on hating him, but I needed you too. I had just spent four years going to school in performing arts, and I felt like I’d never amount to anything in our small town. I was confused and sad, but you made me feel lonely too. It was the first time in our entire friendship that I felt like you didn’t even care. And then you left me at that bar on Cypress Island. Do you remember that?”
For some reason, I know exactly the night she’s talking about. And she’s right about my anger at my father. I can still feel the exact way it filtered through my veins like a poison that was slowly killing me. And when Anderson called me on that particular night, I went to help him drag Dad home from a bar on Orcas Island and into his bed.
I nod to tell her I do remember. “You were having fun. You wanted to stay at the bar.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “With you, Jami. I was having fun at that bar with you, and I wanted to stay with you. And you said you’d be right back.”
I comb my fingers through my hair in frustration, unsure what this has to do with anything that happened between us. “Things got crazy with Dad, and I knew I was taking too long, but it’s not like I forgot about you. I called Trevor to get you.”
“That’s the thing, Jami. Things were always crazy with your dad. He hurt you in so many ways, yet he always came first.” She shakes her head. “So, yeah. Trevor came to get me, but I was already drunk when he got there. And then we stayed and drank some more. And we talked. It was so comforting to be heard. Then I think my emotions mixed with the alcohol just made everything so fuzzy.”
When I realize her story is nothing but a recap of how her and Trevor fell in love, I wish that I’d never even asked. “I think I know the rest.”
Her sharp eyes narrow in on mine. “Trust me. You don’t.”
My mouth snaps shut, and I tamper my anger to listen. It’s the least I can do since I’m the one who asked her to tell her story.
“Yes, Trevor and I slept together that night, but it was you who I was in love with. I don’t even remember…”
Fury burns in my chest. “You don’t remember what, Vi?”
She searches my eyes like she’s regretting what she’s telling me. “A lot. I don’t remember a lot. Between a few drinks at the bar with Trevor, me crying to him, and then waking up the next morning. I don’t remember the in between.”
There’s an inferno in my chest. “You don’t remember fucking Trevor?”
She squeezes her eyes shut again and shakes her head. “No, I don’t. And I’m so embarrassed about that, because I would have never…” Her eyes fill with tears. “I mean, I never would have imagined that I could sleep with someone other than you. I loved you so much. And even though we’d never put labels on what we were besides friends, I knew it would hurt you. That’s why I never said anything to you after. That’s why, two weeks later, when you and I made love, and you told me you loved me, I said it back. I meant it. And deep down in the depths of my soul, I knew there was nothing between Trevor and me besides that one drunken mistake that I didn’t even remember.”