“Morning, sunshine.”
Jami’s grinning and carrying a silver tray while wearing low-slung gray sweatpants and a plain white shirt. He’s so ridiculously gorgeous. And quite the ambitious one during sex. Not that I can blame his stamina for the numerous rounds of Battleship we played. I was right there with him, begging for more.
I stretch my arms above my head and smile. “Morning. Whatcha got there?”
He winks. “A little bit of everything.”
I sit up, tug the comforter against my chest and watch amazed as he sets the tray down in front of me. A surprised laugh bursts from my throat. “You weren’t kidding.”
He must have gone through the cafeteria line and grabbed exactly what I wanted. A little bit of everything. There are a dozen mini pancakes, two bananas, several strips of bacon, a few sausage links, hash browns, oatmeal, yogurt, and so much more.
He sits beside me and leans in, planting a sweet kiss on my cheek. “I didn’t want to disappoint, so I might have overcompensated a little.”
“A little?” I challenge as I stab my fork into a piece of sausage and hold it up like I’m examining it closely. “After last night, I can confidently say there’s nothing to compensate for.”
Jami chuckles. “You act like last night was the first time we ever had sex.”
I smile at his amusement. “You know as well as I do that last night was very different from our first time.”
He nods like he completely understands. “Oh yeah. The pity sex.”
My head snaps up, and I frown. “What pity sex?”
He shrugs, seemingly dejected. “It’s okay, Violet. I know the only reason you slept with me that first time was because Tyson had died and I was in all that pain.”
My heart feels like it’s being crushed. “You thought the only reason I had sex with you that night was because I felt sorry for you?”
My question seems to shock him a little, but he nods. “I’ve always known that. And I’ve always felt terrible for taking your virginity when it was for all the wrong reasons.”
I can feel my chest deflate. I can’t believe he’s felt that way all these years. “You couldn’t be more wrong. Jami, there’s a reason I gave all my firsts to you, and it had nothing to do with pity. Did I want to help you through that pain? Of course. Did I want to distract you from everything you were suffering from? God yes. You were my best friend, but you were also so much more. I gave myself to you that night because I was desperately in love with you and had been for years. I was convinced you wouldn’t just be my first… but my last.”
He lifts my chin and searches my eyes as though looking for confirmation. “Do you still want that?”
Emotion swells in my chest. The conversation we’re having is insane when I think about the fact that we never even officially dated. But there’s also no question in my mind that he’s my one and only.
“Yes, Jami,” I tell him. “That’s what I’ve always wanted.”
I visibly watch tension leave his body in the way his chest falls and his breathing changes.
“I want that too,” he whispers. “More than anything.” A few beats pass when all I can hear is my heart thumping in my chest. “I want to ask you something, but I don’t want it to freak you out.”
I smile, doubting he could possibly ask anything that would scare me. “What is it?”
“Have you thought about having more kids? I mean, is that something you want?”
For a brief moment, I have a flashback to the last argument Trevor and I had on the same subject. He wanted to try for another baby, but I refused to get off birth control. “I’ve thought about that a lot, and to be honest, my answer had always been no.”
Jami’s face falls some, and I see clear disappointment in his expression.
I swallow, knowing how hard what I’m about to say will be. “I wasn’t happy in my marriage, and I was afraid of what would happen if Trevor and I brought another child into the world together.”
“You were afraid?”
I nod. “Most of the time, I felt like I was raising Brayden all on my own, and then it was like being a mother was all I had. Trevor didn’t want me to work, and for years, I told myself and everyone else that was what I wanted, too, but in the end I realized just how miserable it was making me. When I finally spoke up, that was when Trevor bought me the studio, thinking that all our problems would be solved.” I shake my head. “But the damage was done.”
At some point during my explanation, Jami’s hand moved to the knee he’s squeezing. “I’m so sorry you felt like that for so many years. I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. Not at all.”
I look at Jami, my heart swelling in my chest and my throat tightening with emotion. “I don’t feel that way anymore.” I shake my head, realizing I need to clarify. “I mean, I do want to have more kids if the situation is different.”
“Different how?”
The hopeful look in Jami’s eyes is almost too much to bear. “Well, first of all, I would need to be in love.” My heart beats wildly in my chest. “Madly in love with a man who would never allow my dreams to come after his.” I feel a squeeze of my hand. “And that man would obviously want to have kids with me too.”
“Any man would be crazy to not want you to be the mother of his kids.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want just any man. This time is going to be different. It’s the one promise I made for myself and Brayden. I won’t get it wrong again.”
“You’re right, you won’t.” Jami’s mouth brushes mine. “Not if I have a say in it.”
I smile against his lips. “Oh, you have a say in it alright.”
He pulls back slightly, a challenge burning in his gaze. “Is that so?”
I nod. “Yup.”
“In that case, you should probably just marry me.” He sounds so smug, but I don’t doubt the meaning behind his words. “It will save you a lot of trouble.”
I laugh. “Why’s that?”
His eyes search mine. “Because… I’m certain there isn’t another man alive who could love you more than I do.”
A swarm of flutters come alive in my chest, and a playful smile lifts my cheeks. “Would you bet on that?”
His nod is gentle. “On my life.”
Our lips meet in a slow and gentle kiss, and somehow this kiss is unlike all the others. This one feels like a promise, a start, and maybe the beginning of our forever.
“You know,” I start as I break away from his lips. “I’ve always thought you were my soul mate.” I can feel my cheeks heat with my confession.
He grins like he knows something I don’t. “You told me that before.”
I lean back and shake my head with a laugh. “No I didn’t.”
He nods. “Oh yes, you did. Remember when I took you to get your wisdom teeth taken out? Your parents couldn’t make it, so you asked me to drive you. But you wouldn’t let me leave, so I watched them put you under.”
I gasp and clamp a hand over my mouth. “The laughing gas.”
He laughs, probably at the memory of me talking nonstop until I finally nodded off completely. He never told me what I said during that time. I just remember how weird I felt to wake up with a cotton-filled mouth while being wheeled outside to Jami’s truck.