“That was transcendental,” she gasps as she tries to catch her breath.
She pushes away from me and tips her head back as her hands go to the buckle of my pants. “Let me—”
I still her hands with my own and shake my head. “It’s never tit for tat with me. Sometimes I’ll want to pleasure you just to give it to you, and I will never want anything in return. I’m sure there will come a day when you’ll do the same for me.”
“But not tonight,” she guesses, and she sounds downright put out.
I smile and lean down to kiss her. “Jenna… I adore you. I care for you. I admire you.”
She makes a frustrated noise.
“I also want to fuck you very much.” She gasps at my crude words, eyes flashing hot. “Hard and for long hours, and I will. We will.”
“When?” she asks in a quavering voice.
“I’m not going to plan it out. When it happens, it happens.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m seriously frustrated right now.”
“How can you be frustrated when I saw and felt you break apart in front of me?” I tease before giving her a swift kiss.
“Ugh,” she grouses, gripping onto my shirt and giving me a little shake. “You’re an awful man.”
“No, I’m not,” I reply, taking her hands and pulling them to my mouth. I kiss one set of knuckles, then the other. “And you adore me too.”
“Do not,” she mutters.
I move her to the side and step around her, opening the door. “Yes, you do,” I say with a grin.
Jenna crosses her arms over her chest, cocking an eyebrow. “I get it now. You’re the alpha. You need to be in charge.”
“Maybe,” I reply with a shrug. But really, I want to take my time, draw this out, and savor every fucking moment.
She shakes her head and smirks. “You’re annoying.”
“And you love it.” I step backward into the hall.
“I do,” she says simply and turns her back on me before I close the door. I’m laughing as I walk back to the elevator.
CHAPTER 16
Gage
My sister, Marianne, isn’t the closest to me in age, but she’s the closest to me of all my siblings. I think it’s because she’s a teacher, like our mom, and I’m incredibly close to our mom. She’s got the complete package of kindness, humor, and such a flexibility to roll with the punches. Not to say that my other siblings are uptight, because they’re all easygoing. It’s just that we all have those we’re closest to, and for me, it’s always been Marianne. Her husband, Daniel, is like a brother to me. He and Marianne have been together since college, and he’s fit into our family seamlessly.
We’re currently in my kitchen, putting the final touches on dinner. Or rather, Marianne is finishing up the salad while Daniel and I sit with our beers at the kitchen island giving unsolicited advice on how to chop vegetables. Jenna will be here in about half an hour, and I keep looking at my watch. I’m so excited about her meeting my family and spending a nice night together.
The past ten days since coming back from Arizona have been super busy, and I haven’t been able to see Jenna as much as I’d like. Among the perils of professional athletics are the inconsistent schedules, since we travel nearly every week to ten days, depending on away games. It’s difficult to be involved with a professional athlete as we’re gone fifty percent of our life during the season.
I didn’t even have the benefit of Jenna traveling with the team on the last two away games. One was in Columbus, and Brienne nixed any idea about them filming the team on the first trip back. It was going to be emotional and stressful, given that the plane crashed on the way home from a game in Columbus, and I’m glad she made that call. We had enough spotlight on us and didn’t need additional pressures.
As it happened, we ended up playing brilliantly, despite being down Coen and Jesper, and pulled out a hard-fought win. On the downside, we traveled from Columbus to DC to play the Breakers and lost that game resoundingly. On the further downside, Jenna didn’t go to that game, either, since we went straight there from Columbus.
In all, I’ve only seen her for any appreciable time on three occasions. Once I took her out to lunch when our practice schedule lined up with her schedule, once we went out to dinner, and the third time, we went out for drinks after a home game.
Lunch was fun, mainly because I was sitting in her office waiting for her to finish up before we could leave when Brienne walked by. She halted upon seeing me, backed up, and peeked her head in. I didn’t miss the knowing smirk she leveled at Jenna before turning to me in greeting. Wasn’t surprised, though, as I knew Jenna and Brienne were actually developing a bit of a bond, and I assumed that meant I was part of their conversation. I’m actually glad for it—Jenna deserves a strong support group around her. Moving to a new city is tough.
The two nights we had together were equally fun, but they ended up not extending past good-night kisses. I didn’t even go into her apartment after dinner but cut the evening short at the door. Of course, there was the passionate kiss first, which could’ve easily led to more, but I didn’t let it. Truth be told, I’m feeling a bit of guilt over how far we went in Arizona.
Or rather, how far we didn’t go.
It’s confusing. I thought I was doing the right thing—the respectful thing—by not dragging her off to bed. But then I’ve wondered in hindsight if it was disrespectful to finger her to an orgasm up against the door and not let it progress further, especially because I think she wanted it. I’ve been wondering if I have the right to decide where this goes based on my own moral code where Jenna is concerned. I feel very overprotective of her and want to make intimacy with her special. I feel like she needs special treatment, but I could be wrong.
“Gage… that’s the fourth time you’ve checked your watch in about four minutes,” Marianne says as she peels a cucumber. “You said Jenna would be here at six, so why are you checking?”
I blink at my sister. “I honestly hadn’t realized I was.”
Truth is, I’d gotten lost in thoughts about Jenna, which happens more often than not.
Marianne tips her head and gives me a sappy smile. “You really like this woman, don’t you?”
“Have you known me to introduce you to anyone else?” I counter. I mean, it should be obvious because of that alone.
“No, and when you talk about her, you get a dopey look on your face.” Marianne laughs.
Daniel nods. “Totally dopey. I think our boy is in love.”
Most men I know would deny such a thing because love is often considered weakness. I don’t deny it, but I don’t confirm it either. I don’t know what this is I feel for Jenna, but it’s incredibly strong, and I suspect she’s the one.
Maybe that’s why I’m taking things so slow. Because she’s the one, and I want it to be right and memorable and done perfectly and—
Daniel snaps his fingers in front of my face, causing me to blink. I bat his hand away as he snickers. Throwing his thumb at me, he says, “You see that, honey? He’s totally got his head in the clouds. I cannot wait to meet this woman.”