I wish I could give him some advice, but if my father was in Ben’s shoes, he’d lawyer up and sue everyone involved until he got what he wanted, and I don’t think that approach is particularly helpful. I haven’t heard back from Melvin, but if Janelle’s parents say she’s fine, then maybe I should call off my friend.
Grabbing his hand, I lean up and press a kiss to Ben’s cheek. “You’re a really good guy. I don’t know a lot of men who would care about their ex after what she did to you.”
“Janelle’s crazier than a three-dollar bill, but she’s Lily’s mom, and I feel obligated to make sure she’s okay, you know?” He sighs and runs his hand roughly through his hair. “But if Mr. Lopez says she’s good, then I’m gonna take that at face value and accept it before her situation gives me an ulcer.”
Aww, the poor guy is so stressed. Before I can suggest my preferred method of relaxation, he says he wants to help me clean my room.
He stalks down the hallway, his giant strides making me race behind him to keep up, but after he takes a quick glance around, he shoots me a look. “I told you I’d help.”
I swept the floor and vacuumed. Got rid of all those damn feathers. Changed the sheets and had new pillows delivered. God bless delivery!
“I know. I hated seeing everything wrecked.”
He eyes the saucer holding the burned smudge stick. “That isn’t weed, is it?”
I snicker. “No, but if it was, it’d be the biggest joint I ever saw.” I explain how I burned sage to cleanse the room of bad juju. “My grandmother is part Comanche. She took me to a sweat lodge when I was younger, and sage burning, or smudging, is an important part of the ritual.”
She wanted to get more in touch with that part of our family, which I thought was awesome.
I brace myself for him to make fun of that. When my grandmother told her friends we went on that trip, a few laughed. But Ben has a pensive expression in his eyes. “That’s cool. How does the ritual work?”
Relief spreads through me. I don’t mean to be suspicious of him, but my subpar track record with friends and boyfriends suggests I need to take this trust thing slowly.
I explain a sweat lodge is a sacred place used for prayer and purification. Traditionally, young men about to go on vision quests did sweats to mentally prepare. And although they’re mostly associated with Native American culture, they can be traced back to fifth-century Egypt. “The heat and isolation center you and help you get clarity.”
He thinks about that a moment. “Did you figure out anything about yourself?”
“I realized I wanted a job or hobby or something meaningful for myself that wasn’t connected to my family. And I decided I never wanted to work for my father.”
“Too many expectations?”
“Too many wrong expectations. I’ll never be what my father wants, so why put myself in a situation that’s only going to make both of us miserable?”
Ben stares at me so intensely, a part of me freaks out that he might ask more about my father when I’m not ready to talk about him yet. At the same time, I don’t want to lie either.
Instead, he kisses my forehead. “Don’t sell yourself short, sunshine. I can’t imagine he doesn’t adore you.”
I’m not sure ‘adore’ is the right word, but the idea that Ben thinks this is a possibility puts a smile on my face.
I run a finger down his chest and bat my eyelashes at him playfully. We’ve both had a crappy day, but I feel so much better now that he’s home, and I have just the thing to improve his mood.
We messed around this morning, but that feels like ages ago. And with Lily in the room with us then, we couldn’t let loose.
We’ve done everything but have P-in-V sex, and I think a good romp in the sheets would be a great way to distract us from the craziness of the last twenty-four hours.
He must see what I want in my expression because he laughs and pulls me into his arms. I leap up and wrap my legs around his trim waist.
“How long ago did Lily go down for her nap?” His deep voice in my ear sends chills down my body as he nibbles on my neck.
“Not even twenty minutes ago.” It takes her a full fifteen to fall asleep, which means we have close to an hour before we have to be fully clothed again. The monitor is on in the corner, so if she wakes, we’ll be able to hear her.
Rather than respond, his mouth is on mine, and we tumble onto my bed.
I howl with laughter when he tickles me. Before I can blink, he has one hand up my shirt and the other tight in my hair.
I gasp when he squeezes my boob.
“I love that you don’t wear a bra sometimes,” he murmurs against my mouth. “It’s so damn sexy. Love seeing these sweet tits when I get home.”
I like how that sounds. That he’s calling this place his home now.
“Mm.” I arch back as he settles between my legs, yanks up my tank top and takes a long lick of my nipple.
He’s so big and handsome. I love how dainty I feel in his arms. I run my fingers through his thick, dark hair.
In a rush, we tear off our clothes until there’s not a stitch between us. His dick is hard and heavy against me. It’s so hot how he does this. Like he’s teasing me. I spread my legs wider and when he pulls back, I watch him glide across my damp skin.
Leaning back, he taps his thick cock against my clit, and I shiver.
He pauses to whisper. “You sure you wanna do this, baby?”
“So sure.”
His eyes study mine for a minute, and I smile at his beautiful face. He grins back, and it sends a fleet of butterflies soaring through me. “Love that smile, sunshine.”
A second later, he’s reaching for a condom, and I watch as he takes his length in hand and rolls down the latex. We’ve already discussed how we want to use the pill and condoms since we don’t have any room in our lives for one of his little dudes to get by.
The thought of having kids with Ben hits me suddenly. I know it’s stupid to fantasize about something like that when we just started dating, but he’s exactly the kind of man I want to have children with. He’s caring and compassionate. Responsible and protective. He’s great with Lily. Patient and kind, even when she’s cranky.
Not to mention that he’s wrapped up in this incredible package.
With an internal shake of my head, I avert my eyes from his “incredible package” as I shut down that long-term fantasy. Because Ben’s never made me any promises beyond what we’re doing now, this summer, maybe this year.
Come May, it’s possible he’ll be drafted and have to move to the other side of the country. If my family has their way, I’ll be relocating to California. I don’t even know what I want to do after I graduate except start that after-school yoga program, which my father doesn’t want to hear.
There’s no guarantee Ben and I would make it through all of that pressure.
We only have now, the present, to enjoy what we can.
That bittersweet thought makes me want to soak up every moment I have with him and appreciate the time we spend together.
He kneels between my legs, his eyes on mine as he slowly works his way into me. He’s thick, so I squirm to let him in. He’s huge, and I’m petite. Our bodies couldn’t be more different, but he takes his time, gently nudging in and out.