“Is even more of a foul bitch than I’d thought,” he finishes, aiming his glare at the wall.
“Uh, not that I don’t agree, but someone who would…do that with a kid she was babysitting…” I suppress a shudder of revulsion. “Combined with how cavalier you told me she was about Heidi’s safety, it’s possible she was abused herself.”
He slowly slides his gaze my way. “I’m not real interested in defending her right now.”
“I’m not defending her. I’m trying to make sense of the situation.”
“There’s no making sense of this.”
“What did Heidi say?”
He stares at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “I didn’t tell her. I’m not going to tell her. Or Murphy. No one can know. Not right now.”
I stare right back. “How exactly is that going to work?” I cross my fingers in front of my face. “You and Murphy are tight. I’m pretty sure the two of you communicate by telepathy sometimes. And Heidi? You have to tell her—”
“No. She’s so close to finally graduating. She’s supposed to be planning her wedding. This will… I don’t know how it will land with her. I won’t be responsible for ruining things when she’s finally on the right track.”
Heidi’s much more resilient than he gives her credit for. But the secrets I’m hiding from my own brother resurface. Out of love and my desire to protect him at all costs, there are some truths I won’t ever share with him. I’m out of arguments. “Okay. I understand. What about Hope and Rock, though? Murphy and Heidi are living at their house. That’s going to be difficult.”
“Hope’s a lawyer. She’s used to keeping things confidential.”
“Yeah, client matters. Not family.”
“She promised me she won’t say anything until I’m ready. And I trust her.”
“All right. So what’s your plan? Announce it after Heidi’s wedding?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
Obviously. I don’t know how the hell Marcel thinks he can keep this quiet for so long. But in one afternoon, his entire world has been rocked. If he needs me to lie to get through this, I will.
“We’ll tuck this secret away and pretend nothing has changed.” I wince at how sarcastic that sounds.
But if Marcel caught the disbelief that crept into my voice, he doesn’t react. “Thank you.”
I’d walk through fire to ease Marcel’s suffering. But it still twists my heart in complicated ways. I love Heidi like she was my own little sister. Lying to her won’t be easy. Murphy too. Sometimes, I feel closer to him than my own brother.
It’s not my decision to make. For now, I’ll keep the truth hidden.
Even though I know secrets this painful can’t stay buried forever.
CHAPTER THREE
Teller
Miles and miles of highway stretch between everything I love and me. Charlotte, the eternal sunshine in my life, understood why I needed to get away. To clear my head. Or maybe find some answers.
The man I grew up believing was my father, the man who abandoned my family before I was a teenager, was nothing to me. No tie or connection at all.
In a strange, cruel twist of fate, the man I considered a surrogate dad and who I respect more than anyone else in the world is not only my MC president—he’s my father. Not family by choice, like I always thought. By blood.
Did my mother know who my real father was?
Rock would’ve been awfully young when they had their…what the fuck do you call a nineteen-year-old woman who fucks an eleven-year-old kid? Christ, my mother was much more screwed up than I ever imagined. Had she already been in a relationship with my fake dad at that point? Or did she hurry to find someone more suitable to take care of her and her unborn spawn?
So many questions and no one to ask. My grandmother’s dead—since she hated me with a borderline crazed passion, I assume she always suspected something was off about my paternity. My mother? Even if I located her worthless ass, I doubt she’d have any useful insight to share. And I don’t want to do anything to bring her into my life, or God forbid, my sister’s life.
When will the mistakes of our parents stop haunting us?
Heidi needs to focus on finishing college, taking care of her daughter, and planning her wedding. She’s been robbed of enough of life’s milestones. Is a peaceful graduation and wedding too much to ask?
Heidi’s feelings may be a convenient reason to postpone sharing the news, but she’s not my only motivation.
Who am I? Not Marcel Whelan, the name I’ve known my whole life. Now it feels wrong and mismatched.
North. Marcel North. Does that sound any better? I asked Charlotte to marry me not that long ago. What name do I want to give her? What name do I want our children to have?
The big green sign up ahead signals my exit is approaching. I flick my blinker on and guide my bike to the right. I’ve managed to put almost three hundred miles behind me and it still doesn’t feel like enough.
It’s been years since I’ve ventured this far north. Nothing looks the same. I slow my bike at the Rainbow Bridge checkpoint. My record was clean enough to allow me to visit Grinder in prison for years without any issue. Crossing the border into Canada should be a breeze.
The stone-cold border patrol officer scans my passport. In a bored tone, he asks, “Business or pleasure?”
Neither. “Pleasure.”
He rakes his gaze over me but his expression remains unreadable behind mirrored sunglasses. “Enjoy your stay.” He flips my passport closed and hands it to me.
I tuck my identification into my breast pocket and take off. Traffic’s light but bottlenecks as the road narrows. The constant balancing to keep my bike upright while we stop and go keeps my mind occupied.
Why here?
Something lured me across the border. What?
Flashes of a long-ago family trip fire in my memories. Heidi hadn’t been born yet. It was just the three of us. Not-my-Dad, Mom, and me. A weekend trip to visit Mom’s family. A sister? Cousin? A vague memory of pestering not-my-father about going over the falls in a barrel rises to the surface. Even then, I had an unhealthy fascination with the limits of my mortality.
I’ve made my peace with a shitty upbringing. Made a life for myself. The Lost Kings MC is the only family I need. Found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Why am I chasing answers that don’t even matter?
Physically exhausted, I find the first hotel that looks bedbug free. Mentally, my mind’s still spinning. I check my phone and find dozens of texts from Murphy, Heidi, Rock, and Charlotte.
Guilt crawls over my skin. I don’t want them to worry, but I can’t talk to Murphy or Heidi right now. The fear that I’ll let this secret loose before I’m ready to deal with the consequences holds me hostage.
An irrational anger with Rock followed me all the way here, so I don’t want to talk to him either.
I send Charlotte a message and let her know that I’m okay and where I’m staying, then shut off my phone.
CHAPTER FOUR