“Hey, Dare.” Bobbie’s gaze darted across the kitchen.
He knew by her pinched expression and the slight shake of her head that she and Billie were doing that secret girl-talk thing they did. He strode into the house and found Billie standing with her butt against the counter, holding a bowl of cereal. She froze with the spoon midway to her mouth. She was wearing his T-shirt. Her legs were bare, one foot resting on the other, one knee slightly bent. He’d kissed every inch of those gorgeous legs last night, and he could still feel them wrapped around him as he was buried deep inside her.
Fuck. That didn’t help his state of mind.
“Nice shirt, Mancini. Did you get it from the same place you ripped off that truck out front?”
Bobbie stifled a laugh.
Billie’s eyes narrowed. “I borrowed your truck.”
“I think I’d better get to work.” Bobbie put her plate in the sink and grabbed a tote bag from the counter. “Unless you need a referee?”
Billie glowered, and Bobbie held up her hands. “Just asking. I wouldn’t want Dare to end up with a shiner this time.” She giggled as she left the house.
“What the hell, Billie? After everything we said to each other, everything we did to each other, you sneak out like I’m nothing but a cheap date?” He closed the distance between them, his heart refusing to be silenced. “You’re finally mine, Mancini, and I know you’ve got a lot of shit going on in that beautiful head of yours because of me, or us, but I’m not going to let you run from us anymore.”
She lifted her chin, stormy, pained eyes glaring at him. “Just because we had sex doesn’t mean you own me.”
“I don’t want to own you, but I sure as hell don’t want to lose you again, so at least clue me in and tell me why you took off.”
“Because keeping you at a distance kept everything I didn’t want to think about at bay,” she said angrily, setting down her bowl. “Being with you was amazing, and I wanted it as bad as you did, but now everything we did and said is right there”—she splayed her hand by her face—“front and center in my mind.”
“I don’t see how that’s bad, darlin’.” He put his hands on her hips, feeling the tension rippling through her. “We both want this.”
“I know, but I hurt Eddie because I wanted it.”
“And that’s a hell of a thing to try to deal with on your own.”
She looked away, and he knew she was picking through the attic of her brain, gathering guilt like parents gathered keepsakes. He needed to get her mind back to the present and went for levity.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but let’s give it some perspective. You were young, and you were trying to convince yourself not to want all this.” He stepped back and motioned to his body, just to earn a smile, which he did, if only for a few seconds. He drew her into his arms and gazed into those troubled eyes. “Seriously, Mancini. Eddie would have wanted us to be happy.”
She shook her head. “He was so mad when I broke up with him. He said, ‘It’s Dare, isn’t it? It’s always been him.’” She shrugged half-heartedly. “What am I supposed to do with that? I never got a chance to explain it to him.”
The pain in her voice brought his arms around her. He held her close, his heart aching for her and for Eddie. “Don’t you see, darlin’? That means he saw what we were too stupid and stubborn to admit.”
“Exactly.”
“Baby, that doesn’t mean it was a death sentence for him or a means for penance for you, but it is a hell of a weight for you to carry around.”
She lowered her eyes.
“Look at me, darlin’.” Her sadness sliced through him. “We knew Eddie better than anyone. He was a grounded, rational thinker, and I have no doubt that if he’d lived, we’d have had it out, and we would have come out the other side just as tight as we were before. It might have taken some time for the sting to wear off, but there’s no stronger bond than the one the three of us shared.”
“I want to believe that.”
“Well, that’s a start. You know he didn’t set out to kill himself, don’t you?”
She nodded. “I know. He would never do that.”
“Good, because he’d never purposely hurt anyone, and I think he’d have a really hard time knowing you’ve been torturing yourself for all these years.”
“I think about that a lot,” she said softly.
“You can be sure of it. He hated when you were sad or mad.”
She smiled a little. “He did, didn’t he?”
He was so glad to see her smiling, it made him smile, too. “Remember that time you got detention and he went with you?”
“Yes. You got pissed off that neither of us sat with you when you got detention.” She laughed softly. “You were always so competitive.”
“Says the woman who never backed down from a challenge. I think the best thing we can do to honor Eddie is live our lives to the fullest. He’d want that, and he’d have a hell of a lot to say about you giving up motocross. He was so damn proud of you. We both were. I still am.”
“He was my biggest cheerleader when you were away at school, and I was his, doing whatever he asked for his videos and cheering him on as he talked about the unforgettable movie he always wanted to make. Before every race, he’d say ‘What are you waiting for, Billie? Get out there and show the world what you’ve got,’ as if I ever hesitated.”
Emotions stacked up inside him. “He was a good man.”
“Good ol’ Steady Eddie.” Sadness worked its way up her face. “He was always so safe and careful before that day.”
“I think you’ve forgotten how many times he did stunts that were over his head because he was pissed at me or had a bug up his ass about something. Remember the time he was hell bent on doing a front flip on the snowboard?” Dare shook his head. “I thought that was going to end a whole lot worse than with a broken arm.”
“Me too.”
“So you can’t blame yourself for his last stunt. Like I said before, guys do stupid shit for even stupider reasons. The thing you need to hold on to is that Eddie was an incredible friend, and you’re an amazing woman. I’m glad he got to experience what it was like to be loved by you. Because I’m sure that was a hell of a lot better than anything else in this crazy world.”
Her eyes dampened, and she pressed her lips together. “I can’t talk about this right now.”
“Okay.” He hugged her and kissed the top of her head.
“Thanks for trying to help. I’m sorry I took off with your truck.”
He squeezed her butt. “And my shirt.”
“I’m keeping the shirt.” She tipped her face up, and he was glad some of the shadows were gone. “I just need some space to work through this.”
“I hear there are some pretty great therapists over at Redemption Ranch. I could probably hook you up with one.”
“Thanks, but I’m not like you. I can’t talk it all out.”
“If you need to crawl into your shell to figure this out, that’s okay. But know this. If you take too long, I’m crawling in after you.” He lowered his lips to hers, wishing she’d ask him to stay and talk it all out, but that strong, stubborn streak ran deep in the pigtailed girl he’d fallen in love with, and it had only gotten more powerful in the years since. He didn’t want to change her. He wanted to help her find peace, with or without him. But in his own stubborn heart, he knew that when that peace came, wild horses wouldn’t be able to hold back the feelings he’d gotten more than a glimpse of last night.