“I brought your pain medication,” the nurse whispered, handing Billie a little paper cup with pills in it and a glass of water from her tray. She looked thoughtfully at Dare as Billie took the medication. “I still can’t believe he hasn’t left your side. That’s the type of chivalry romance novels are made of.”
“I don’t know anything about romance novels, or much of anything else beyond Oreos and chips,” Billie whispered as the nurse checked the monitors. “But it’s easy to see why I would have fallen for him.” And it wasn’t just Dare. She had a feeling she’d been in love with his family, too. They were so loving toward her today, even his brothers, and they seemed to know her so well, it made her lack of memory even more aggravating. She hated relying on other people. At least the nurse had taken out her catheter and IV. Even though she was uncomfortable and had to ask for help getting to the bathroom, she was glad to have a little control over something.
“Have you remembered anything more?”
“Just the flashes, or moments, I mentioned when Dare’s family was here, but nothing I can hold on to. I hate this feeling. It’s like all this information is out there, but I just can’t grasp it.” The doctor had been very encouraging and hopeful when she’d told him the types of things she was remembering, despite feeling like they were only fleeting moments. She recalled some memories from her childhood, but they were just flashes of everyday things, like running through a field with Dare and Eddie, the smell of horses, breakfasts with her family.
“I know it’s frustrating, but those are very good signs,” the nurse whispered. “You’re making progress. You have a lot of people who love and support you, and hopefully the more you learn about yourself, the more you’ll remember. You and Dare have taught me something in just the short time you’ve been on my floor.”
“What?”
“That it’s time to break up with my boyfriend. That man is my new standard.” She smiled. “Can I get you anything before I go?”
“I’m okay, and sorry about causing you to want to break up with your boyfriend.”
“Don’t be. It’s been a long time coming. You guys did me a favor.”
“Well, I didn’t do anything. It was all Dare. Thanks again for letting him stay tonight.”
“Letting him? He made it known to every nurse out there that he wasn’t taking no for an answer.” She winked. “I’ll check on you in a bit. Try to get some rest.”
Billie felt like all she’d been doing was sleeping because she got mentally exhausted so quickly. She hoped that wasn’t permanent. She’d hate spending half her life sleeping. But she wasn’t tired now. She was restless and hungry.
She looked at the additional snacks Dare had brought in the backpack, which were now on the table beside her—containers of cut-up vegetables and sliced apples, crackers, peanut butter, chocolate bars, root beer, Capri Suns, and a bag of nuts. She couldn’t remember which ones she liked, but she’d loved the ones she’d already tried and knew she’d love the rest, too, because Cowboy had told her that Dare had given him a very specific grocery list of all her favorite snacks. His youngest sister, Birdie, who had bounced from one subject to the next so fast, Billie had trouble keeping up, had brought what she’d said was Billie’s favorite pizza for dinner. It had ham, pineapple, green olives, and mushrooms. Billie had eaten four slices and had loved every bite. She liked knowing the kind of foods she preferred and felt lucky to have so many people who knew her so well.
She grabbed the apple slices and peanut butter and put the laptop on the bed beside her. She sat back and watched the movie, dipping the apples into the peanut butter and loving the taste of them. She studied Eddie. His movements, his voice, and that effervescent smile were so familiar, they felt like they were a part of her. Even his voice was familiar.
You haven’t seen a race until you’ve witnessed the one and only Billie “Badass” Mancini, the fiercest woman to ever ride—
Person to ever ride, she corrected him in the movie.
She wondered if that snarkiness was what Bobbie had meant about her having her moments. It didn’t feel like it. She watched herself winning a motocross race, and Dare doing a fist pump, yelling, Mancini! as he ran toward the track. Eddie ran, too, filming and cheering, That’s our girl! as she climbed off her bike and whipped off her helmet, shouting, Daredevils rule! Dare swept her into his arms and spun her around. She beamed at the camera, waving Eddie over. He filmed the three of them from arm’s length, hugging and laughing, their faces going in and out of the camera as he pressed his lips to hers and said, Congratulations, baby!
Baby…
A flash of Eddie down on one knee careened into her mind, stealing her breath. Another flash of him, wearing different clothes. A different day? Hurt and anger blazed from his eyes as her voice traipsed through her mind. “I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s me. I love you, just not like I should to marry you.” She was trembling, gulping breaths, as the movie on the screen was obliterated by the one in her head. She was pulling off an engagement ring, trying to give it to him, but he was shoving her hand away, saying, “I bought it for you. I want you to have it.”
“But we’re not getting married.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll always love you.”
“And I’ll always love you.”
“Just not the way you should.” He spoke low, his voice raw and tortured.
“I’m sorry! I never meant to hurt you.”
His eyes narrowed, his anguish pinning her in place. “It’s Dare, isn’t it? It’s always been Dare.”
She opened her mouth to deny it, but she couldn’t.
Eddie was enraged. He stalked away from her, heading back toward Dare, who was way across the field, but then he cut right, heading for the bikes, and ran to them. Billie ran after him, trying to catch up, but he was too fast, the distance too great. He grabbed a bike, leveling her with his words. “I’ll show you how to do a damn flip.”
“No!” she yelled, tears streaming down her face as the movie in her mind played on.
Dare ran toward Eddie. “Don’t do it, man,” Dare begged. “You’re not ready for a flip.”
“Eddie, please don’t! You’ll get hurt!”
Dare grabbed Eddie’s arm, but Eddie shoved him away and took off on the bike toward the ramp.
“No! Eddie—”
Billie held her breath as he went up the ramp and soared into the air. The bike flipped, and she thought he had it—but he lost his grip, plummeting to the ground as the bike sailed forward.
“No! Eddie—”
She and Dare sprinted toward him. Her lungs burned and tears blurred her vision. Dare reached him seconds before her and spun around, trying to push her back the way they’d come. “No, Billie! You’re not going over there.” They were both crying, shouting, and he grabbed her around her waist as she flailed and fought to get to Eddie, and then she saw him lying on the ground, his head bleeding, his neck and limbs bent at impossible positions, unseeing eyes and lifeless mouth open, and she crumpled to the ground screaming.
“Billie! Billie, you’re okay. It’s me, Dare!”