And desire.
His touch is a potent reminder of how good we were together. When I was alone with Finn, the rest of the world didn’t weigh so much. My body felt alive and alight for the first time in so long.
I could lose myself in him.
I won’t let that happen. I’m not going to give in.
His masculine scent fills my next breath, and I lose the battle with myself. Memories of his naked body over mine collide with me at the same time. Heat rushes to my cheek and my nipples tighten under my dress.
Finn’s eyes darken.
He notices.
One breath, and we’re not just dancing. Not anymore. He’s moving my body sensually against his.
He’s having a reaction, too. I can feel how hard he is.
How much he wants me.
It’s hot, and it hurts. The heat between us is a siren song. It makes me want to lean into it, into him, and I do.
I’ve been longing for this contact from the second I left his house.
He didn’t have to come here tonight. Now that he has, I’m going to show him what he was missing. I want him to feel as lonely and bereft as I do. It’s not kind, but it’s true.
Finn lets out a harsh breath and allows himself to pull me closer. He shudders when my hips make contact with his cock, gritting his teeth to hide it. We’re riding the line of very inappropriate for a wedding reception. It’s basically sex on the dance floor.
That was when we were at our best. When we were fucking each other. When everything seemed like it could be a wonderful, secret game. A happy one.
Now it’s a fight. I want to prove I don’t need him. He wants to prove…
I don’t know what.
He’s handsome. A confident dancer. I feel sensual in his arms. Wanting him feels like a warm, physical weight. If things hadn’t ended between us, we could run away together. Not to an illicit poker club, but at least to a dark alcove. Somewhere we could put our hands on each other in private.
Except it’s not how it used to be. I feel bruised, and he’s wary. The safety of his arms has been transformed into pure tension.
Does it have to be this hard? Honestly, I’d hoped it wouldn’t be. Finn smells so good. Breathing him in only makes me want him more.
Fake dating used to be fun and sexy. Now it’s painful. We’re at my sister’s wedding, surrounded by people on the dance floor, and none of them know how jagged and complicated our relationship has become.
Well, Emerson seems to know. I saw the way he looked between us. The one advantage is that I don’t think he cares. To him, we’re just another piece of art. Daphne, though? It nearly killed me to see her so happy for me when I’m raging at him on the inside.
I want to hurt him and dismiss him. And I want to take him someplace private and tear off his clothes.
He lets out a breath near my temple. “You feel good.”
“Oh?” My arms settle on his shoulders. It’s difficult to think in all this heat. “Is that why you decided to show up?” I sound more acerbic than I planned.
“I don’t know.” Finn smiles, and it breaks my heart. “One minute I was at home. The next I was putting on my tux. Then I was here. There wasn’t much conscious thought involved. And with you this close, I don’t know how there could be.”
The beat of the song gets heavier. For a few moments, I let it happen. I let myself forget. The reception. The guests. The secrets. It all disappears, and I move with him.
There are so many layers of movement. Each one reminds me what he was like when we could be together. Alone together. Understanding each other.
“Finn, I—”
Abruptly, the song ends. A cheer goes up. Then laughter. The guests transition right into a wild rendition of the Chicken Dance.
“Jesus,” Finn says, under his breath. He keeps his hands firmly on my waist and guides me to the side of the floor. We duck people’s arms and elbows.
My skin tingles from how close he is. From how close I came to blurting out that I’m pregnant.
On the other side of the dance floor, Leo and Haley stand close together. He’s at her back, his arms reaching forward to support her belly. She beams while they watch the other people dance, swaying slightly. My chest aches. Jealousy and happiness war with each other. I’m never going to have that with Finn.
In the opposite corner, Daphne glows. She and Emerson stand off to the side of an artist they hired to paint a scene from their wedding in real time. Her eyes are huge and bright. It’s beautiful, he says to her, but anyone can see that no painting will ever be more beautiful than Daphne. Not to him.
“How did all the planning go?” Finn asks. He’s been following my eyes around the room.
“It was a nightmare.”
“Really?”
“Yes. It was far less complicated than I wanted it to be. Daphne was an easy bride.”
Finn’s eyes narrow. “Less complicated? You think it should have taken more of your time?”
“I like a challenge, now and then.”
His jaw works. He didn’t really have the right to make comments about my family before. Now that we’re not together, he certainly doesn’t. It won’t be much longer until that family includes our child, and he sure as hell can’t comment on that. Not unless he’s going to say that he’s changed his mind.
“I think Daphne will be relieved when it’s over.”
Hazel eyes return to mine. “Is that how you’ll feel after your wedding?”
The question is so loaded I feel it in my bones. Finn put the slightest emphasis on your. We weren’t actually engaged. It was all pretend. And yet thinking of a wedding that’s mine and not Finn’s too feels wrong.
“I don’t know.” I smooth my hair. “I imagine I’ll feel relieved, but a little sad that it’s over. I know she’ll be glad she doesn’t have to argue with Mom and Dad anymore. Not until there’s a baby shower, anyway.”
His face darkens at the memory of the last baby shower, but Finn doesn’t say anything.
For a guy who dismissed me in the cruelest way possible, he’s obviously struggling. Walking a fine line between not wanting to upset me and not wanting me to be upset.
In reality, it’s both of us. I’m not sure how he’s going to take this news. I don’t want to upset him. And I don’t want him to be upset.
The question of who has the right to upset the other person is well behind us now.
A new song starts. More guests move around us. Finn pulls me into his side to keep me out of their way, as if he doesn’t want anything else to touch me.
At one of the nearby tables, a baby cries.
The sound cuts straight to the quick. I turn my head without thinking. I’m sure the baby is fine. Safe with its parents. But it tugs at my heart.
I drop my hand to my belly without thinking. I know the baby is mainly just cells at this point. I know it can’t be comforted by my touch, or by anything else. It doesn’t know that somewhere, another child is crying.
I’ll fix it, I think.
And then—
Shit.
I move my hand away, as casually as possible, and face Finn.
His eyes are wide with shock. With horror. He saw what I did. His hand is at my waist, so he felt me turn. Felt me respond to that cry.
They go down to my belly and come back up to my face.