“Why?”
“Because it isn’t you.” She peeks up at me through those thick, dark lashes.
“Who says it isn’t me?”
Her smile turns sad. “Every person you’ve ever come in contact with.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you like the setup of one-and-done, remember?”
“And?”
“And you’ve already gotten it from me.” She forces the same sad smile and shrugs one bare shoulder. The combination hits me straight in the chest.
Mack was right. Blake’s assuming she’s like every other girl, when it couldn’t be further from the truth.
I give her some space and lean back in my seat, resting my head against the headrest. “What if I want more?”
“You don’t want more, Teddy. It’s not you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You like having your options open. You always have.”
My nostrils flare, but she doesn’t give me time to defend myself. She barrels forward, wrecking our night with a sledgehammer. “Don’t get me wrong. I honestly wouldn’t have had my first time with someone else, but I’m not stupid. And I’m not going to fall for a guy who can’t give me what I want.”
“Who says I can’t––”
“Stop,” she interrupts.
“No. I’m not gonna stop. I like you, Blake. We get along. There’s chemistry here.”
“Yeah. There is,” she agrees. “But for how long? And at what cost? You don’t exactly have a strong track record for following through or settling down, let alone the fact you’re leaving. You might not have any offers yet, or maybe you do and you don’t want to tell me about them, but I can still see the big picture, Teddy. I’m not in it. And it’s okay.”
“Don’t call me Teddy,” I growl. It’s stupid, and I know I’m picking a fight over bullshit to distract us from the real issue, but I can’t help it. I feel like I’m being backed into a corner, and I can’t do anything to stop it.
“What was your goal tonight, Theo?” She scrubs her hand over her face. Remembering her makeup, she tucks her hand under her thigh to keep from ruining it further. “Was your goal to win me over and make me yours, or was it to make up for being an ass in the first place? Because if it’s the latter, you’re doing a bang-up job.”
She pushes the passenger door open, ready to escape, but I reach out and grab her wrist, keeping her in place.
“Stop,” I order.
“Why?”
“I already told you I like you, Blake.”
“So?” She laughs, but there isn’t any humor in it. “You like a lot of girls. You’ve always liked a lot of girls.”
“Not like this.”
“Then prove it,” she goads. “Because from my perspective? All I’ve ever been is the girl you took for granted, so why should I start taking your feelings seriously now?”
“That’s how you think I look at you?” I rasp. “I never took you for granted, Blake. I just didn’t want to fuck it up. You’re my best friend’s little sister. I was scared.”
“What do you have to be scared of? I’ve always been here. Rooting for you. Watching you. Loving you.” She laughs. “Why do you think I never lost my v-card, Theo? Are you really this dense?”
My teeth clench together, but I stay quiet.
“It always belonged to you. I always belonged to you.” She lets go of another slow, unsteady breath. “But seriously. Look at this from my perspective. You’re asking me to put my internship and future career on the line for a guy who’s never had a real relationship in his entire life. A guy who’s most likely going to be in another state after this season. A guy who has never seen me as anything but his best friend’s little sister until someone else showed interest in me.”
“That’s bullshit, Blake,” I rasp.
She’s killing me. Fucking twisting the dagger in my chest as I watch the only thing I want slip through my fingers. And there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
“Is it, though?” She tugs her arm from my grasp and climbs out of the car, slamming the door behind her and marching up the stairs to her porch. I follow her, my feet pounding up the concrete steps until her back is to my front and she’s pinned between the door and my chest.
The position brings a swell of memories to the surface. We’ve been here a time or two. Me pinning her against a wall. In the bathroom. Before I kissed her for the first time. In Burrows’ room. Before I slept with her. Before I pulled a few barriers between us down and caught a glimpse of the girl I’ve been lusting after for way too long. The girl I couldn’t bring myself to claim until now. Until it’s too late.
I lean closer and breathe her in. Her familiar scent clings to her red hair. It tortures me. The urge to take this a step further is overwhelming. I want to push her against the door and kiss her until she can’t even think straight, let alone hide behind some bullshit excuse as to why we can’t be together.
“Blake,” I murmur against the crown of her head. A few wisps of hair stir from my breath. But I don’t say anything else. I can’t.
She leans against me, letting her muscles melt ever so slightly into my warmth as I crowd her against the door. I drag my hand lower and squeeze her waist. It’s painful to be this close to her without giving in and kissing her the way I want. Holding her the way I want. Fucking driving into her the way I want.
“I want you, Blake. I care about you––”
“Then prove it,” she interrupts. “And I mean in a way that’s bigger than asking me out under the guise of making it up to my older brother, or coming up with a stupid bet so you can have the excuse to kiss me again.” She leans her forehead against the door and lets out a shuddered breath. Like I’ve finally pushed her past the edge.
“Prove it in a way that’s real, Theo,” she challenges. Her voice is stronger. More determined. She isn’t begging me. She’s goading me. Daring me. “A way that makes me different than all the other girls I know you’ve been with. A way that puts me first and gives me a reason to do the same for you.”
“And if I do?”
She shrugs one shoulder but doesn’t answer me.
And she won’t. I know her better than that.
She’s stubborn.
And she’s done talking about this. For now. Her skin is warm against my lips as I lean down and press a kiss to her bare shoulder, unable to help myself. She tastes like sunshine and spice. My fingers dig into her waist again, and she arches her back, rubbing her ass against my groin as if to prove what my prize will be if I can beat her challenge.
And fuck me, do I want to win.
“Are you teasing me, Blake?” I rasp.
She peeks over her shoulder. “Are you finally realizing what’s at stake, Theo?”
I force myself to let her go, missing the feel of the curve of her hip against my palm. But I refuse to torture myself any longer. Not when it won’t get me anywhere. Not tonight, anyway. Not until I can prove she’s the real deal.
“Goodnight, Blake.”
With a coy smile teasing her lips, she holds my stare. “Goodnight, Theo.”