“Let’s go back to the house. Marla has a ton of food,” my dad announces, and everyone follows him out.
Cam ends up meeting me at my car when he could probably have gone with one of my siblings.
“Still riding with me?” I unlock the doors.
“Nah, I’d only be trading down. I’m sticking with you.” He slides into the car, driving me crazy with his lines today.
I climb in, buckle my seat belt, and start the car while feeling his gaze on me.
“Does it ever change your mind?” I ask.
“Change my mind?”
“Well, clearly you aren’t the settling down type, but seeing all my brothers and sisters with their spouses and children… does it change things for you? Make you think twice about it?” I follow the line of cars like a funeral procession toward my parents’ house.
“Does it change it for you?”
“I asked you first,” I say, glancing over to see his full attention on me. I quickly look back at the road.
“I’ve never been against marriage. Although my parents aren’t exactly a great example of it. Sure, they’ve made it work, but my mom bends to my dad’s will at every turn. I wouldn’t want a wife like that.”
I scoff. “Oh really? You’d want one who challenges you? You enjoy fighting every day?”
“Some of my favorite moments in life have been fighting with you.”
My heart just about leaps out of my chest, and I glance at him.
He smiles wide. “In all seriousness, I’d never want a woman to just do what I want all the time. One thing I’ve always admired about your dad and Marla is how they work together—sometimes she gets her way, sometimes he does. I can’t imagine being a stepparent to someone and having to walk that line so carefully.”
“What do you mean?” I never really thought about my dad and Marla. I don’t remember my dad with my mom, unfortunately, so the only example I have of a long-term marriage is my dad’s second marriage.
“Well, Marla’s kids still have a dad. Sure, they don’t have much of a relationship with him, but he’s there. I’m sure it’s hard for your dad when he might have an opinion on how something should go, but he talks to Marla on the side or doesn’t say anything at all. And Marla.” He blows out a breath.
“What about her?”
He touches my knee and I jerk, making my foot come off the gas. Cade slams on his horn behind me. I lift my hand to wave sorry.
“She’s competing with a memory. I love your siblings, but your mom is on a pedestal. As she should be. I can’t imagine how hard it is for Marla to toe that line, wanting to be a mother to you but knowing she can’t replace the one you lost. Add on…”
The car falls silent because he doesn’t want to address the biggest issue—me being responsible for my mother’s death.
“Add on what, Cam?” The bite in my tone is there to force him off the topic, but I should know that isn’t his style.
“Everyone knows how hard it’s been for you, is all I’m saying. It probably makes her want to mother you even more.”
I’ve allowed Marla to mother me, but my shame and guilt have probably always stood between us. I need to get rid of this melancholy mood in the car and fast as we approach my dad and Marla’s house.
“I forgot to tell you, I have a date tonight. So in case you’re looking for me later and wondering where I am…”
He doesn’t say anything, but I see his chest rise and fall. I park in our driveway since my dad’s is sure to be packed. As soon as the car comes to a stop, he says nothing and climbs out, walking up the hill to my parents’.
I don’t really have a date, which means I have to find some way to kill time for a few hours. I feel bad, but it was necessary. I don’t need anyone feeling sorrier for me than I already do.
13
“YOU TELL NO ONE ABOUT THIS.”
Cam
I have no idea when Chevelle got home because I arrived home later than she did. Instead of driving myself crazy and watching her leave with her date, I worked on my little side project.
By the time I got home, she was already in her room, the light off, but the glare of the television shone through the small opening at the bottom of her door.
I wish I could get her to open up to me about her mother. Her scars are deep, and therapy helped, but I still hear it in her voice—she blames herself. Jesus, she was five and didn’t know the ice wasn’t solid. She was only in search of her brothers. Her story’s haunted this town for years, but as everyone else has moved on, Chevelle still looks at that moment as though it defines her worth.
And of course, she’s already gone this morning, so I head to the marina on foot. Which isn’t bad because I stop for coffee at The Grind. I reach the marina entrance and my phone rings, but I let it go to voice mail since I have a lot to do to get my boat ready before my charter arrives. The guy who booked it said there’s eight of them and they’re avid fishermen who pick a different spot every year. If all goes well, it should put me in at least second place on the list.
I pass Rowdy on the dock, who’s returning with his break-of-dawn customers.
“Heard you have a lot of guys this mornin’,” he says, helping his customers carry their catch to the store to turn it into filets they can take home.
“Yep, be careful, I’m coming for you.” I wink and climb aboard my boat.
I look over at Chevelle, who’s packing her cooler with drinks. She’s wearing her typical gear except she’s in pants since this morning is a tad chilly. I like her better in shorts for sure.
A guy catches my eye while I’m cleaning the front of my boat, where most people uninterested in fishing sit. It’s actually the most important spot because if the people the fishermen drag along don’t have fun, you might never see them again. Luckily my boat is big enough to accommodate.
“I’m looking for Cameron Baker?” I hear the stranger ask Rowdy.
Rowdy points at me and continues on his way.
“How can I help you?” I ask from the boat.
He stands on the dock and looks toward Chevelle instead of at me. “Um… I’m Kevin Irving. We had an excursion booked this morning for eight.”
“You’re a little early, but it won’t take me long to get the boat going. Earlier’s better anyway.” I look around. “Where’s the rest of you?”
He bites the corner of his lip and throws his hand through his grayish-black hair. “That’s the thing… we all drank a little too much last night, so we have to cancel. I tried to call, but you didn’t answer. Since we’re just at the inn, I drew the short stick and had to come and tell you in person.” He glances behind him again at Chevelle.
“Where’d you tie one on last night?” I walk down from the boat to join him on the dock.
“Someone told us about a bar in Lake Starlight, Lucky’s? And we met…” He turns again in Chevelle’s direction. “Do you know if that woman’s name is Chevelle?”
My body tenses. Was this her date? “It is. Why?”