I hug my dad and squeeze him tight. “Thank you. I do feel much better.”
“Good. Now I’ll leave you alone.” He holds up the cassette. “I have to find something to play this in. Maybe Marla will help.” He heads down to his truck.
I sit on the bench in front of my mom’s gravestone and open the envelope. My hands shake because I’m so nervous about what I might find inside.
“Can you believe they actually orchestrated this themselves?” I giggle because I didn’t think my brothers had it in them.
I pull out the piece of paper. I never even knew her handwriting, and her cursive is so pretty.
Chevelle,
My baby girl. Don’t tell your dad, but I had to beg him to try just one more time for a girl. Don’t get me wrong, I love your brothers, but I wanted a little girl to wear cute dresses and play in my makeup. I wanted someone in our household who would understand me a little better. And when we found out you were a girl, you should’ve seen your dad’s face. He was as excited as I was. Watching him with you these past three years, how you’ve wrapped him around your finger, has been something special.
Your fierce personality and determination to compete with your brothers are two of the traits I admire most in you. Your independence is sometimes challenging when I want you to do something, but I hope you never lose it. It will serve you well.
I’m sorry I’m gone, because we were going to be a team against the boys. But someone had other plans for me.
I think about you being the youngest and what it’ll be like for you to have lost your mom so early in life. You’ve been with me the least amount of time, and I’m not naive enough not to know that by the time you’re older, you won’t remember me. Although I know your dad will do a good job of talking about me. And I hope your brothers share stories to keep my memory alive.
But just in case, I’ve listed some words of wisdom for you on the following pages. But if you only live life according to one specific line of advice I give you, it is, “Live your life like there isn’t a tomorrow.” Meaning, don’t waste your time or energy worrying about things you can’t control, and unfortunately, death is one of those things. If it wasn’t, I’d still be with you now. Now, I’m going to put in a motherly disclaimer here—this does not mean you go out and do extreme death-defying acts. It means don’t be scared to go after your dreams, to love with your entire heart, and never apologize for being you.
During the years without me, you can reference some of the things I put on the following pages, or you can just live by the one quote. Enjoy this life, Chevelle, you only get one.
Love,
Mom
I look through the pages, reading lines about prom and not to be a cliché by losing my virginity that night, or how all friends come with good and bad sides to them but to make sure the good outweighs the bad, and to pick a husband who loves your family as much as you do (along with a long list of the traits of a man who would deserve me).
I press the papers to my chest and take a deep breath. It feels as if she’s here with me now. I can almost hear the words in her voice.
I fold the papers and put them in the envelope to read again later.
“You’re probably not going to believe this, but I’m in love with Cameron Baker, Fisher’s best friend…” I tell my mom all about how I fell in love with him and how scared I was when I thought I might lose him.
Something shifts inside me when I’m talking to her. A weight lifts off my shoulders and a feeling of peace wraps around me, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I feel as if everything will work out okay.
Twenty minutes later, I stand and wipe the last of my tears. When I turn toward the street, Cam is there, waiting in front of his jeep. He waves to me. Just as my mom told me to, I decide then and there to live my life like there’s no tomorrow.
I run toward his waiting arms, and he catches me as he always does. As I know he always will.
“I love you,” I say once I’m secure in his arms. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, girlfriend.” He lowers me to the ground, and I look up into his eyes.
“I think I like the sound of wife better.”
His smile radiates joy as he brushes my hair out of my face. “Done.”
EPILOGUE
“THE GIRL IN THE PURPLE DRESS.”
Chevelle
A few months later…
“You look like a winter wonderland,” Nikki says, admiring me with her hand on her very swollen belly.
I look at my reflection in the mirror in the apartment above the garage at Fisher’s. Everyone came together to make this a bridal suite for me, since this is the only place I could ever marry Cam. It just fits.
Cars fill the driveway, and luckily, neighbors were willing to give up their driveways for our guests to park. It took more planning, and it’s not exactly ideal, but we kept our ceremony small. Or as small as you can with a family as big as mine.
I’ve read the advice my mom left me for my wedding, and one thing she said was to pick a meaningful place to get married. This is my day, and screw everyone else. She also said to not pick any trendy songs for my dances, pick classics, especially the father-daughter dance. I’ve tried to take each of her suggestions into consideration.
One thing I made my brothers incorporate into our lives is that once a month, we get together and share stories about Mom. Even the boys have been remembering more now, and I feel as though I’m really starting to understand who my mom was.
My dad opens the door to the apartment. “Your groom just arrived.”
I look out the window to catch a glimpse of him, but Cam’s already gone around the side of the house.
“I’m ready.” I take one last look in the mirror.
“She’s more than ready. Barely needed us.” Posey shakes her head.
I have no bridesmaids and he has no groomsmen, which pissed off Fisher until we had to remind him that he ran away to get married.
The Alaskan winter air hits me as soon as I walk out and follow my dad down the outside stairs. Once I’m at the bottom, I hook my arm in his, and he escorts me away to the tree-lined path that leads through the forest.
“Only you and Cam would pick an outdoor wedding in January.” His breath comes out in a big white puff.
“Thanks for being a good sport.”
“Anything for you, little girl,” he says and kisses the top of my head.
The snow crunches under our feet as we pass the pictures we placed along the path of those Greene couples who found love before us, starting with Grandma Ethel and Grandpa, and ending with Mandi and Noah. Dad and I arrive at the clearing where lights have been hung in the trees and red hearts swing in the cold breeze. All of our guests are lined along the edge of the lake, but my eyes only search out one person.
Cam’s standing on the other side of the small lake. I have to step up on the wooden plank path my brothers and Cam built for our wedding.
“You got this,” my dad whispers, tightening his hand around mine.
I think this might be as hard for him as it is for me. We follow the path lit with lanterns to the other side, where only Cam and the officiant wait.