Even leave.
He fucked me from behind.
He gave me an orgasm.
And not once did he have to look into my eyes. So he could pretend I wasn’t really me.
It was after he’d fucked me that I realized the truth.
Sex with Bram was never how it was supposed to be.
He always, always, always made it good for me. I never finished unsatisfied. But there was always something missing.
Something pivotal that was missing that I knew would be there had it been Mimi.
So, as he fucked me to his own orgasm, I realized a few things.
This would never, ever be what I wanted it to be.
And I could leave.
As of last month, I’d graduated from college with a degree in child psychology. Something in which I’d worked hard over the last three years to accomplish four years of work in three.
I mean, what the hell else were you supposed to do with your time when nobody talked to you?
Anyway, the next day, when Bram left for work, I started packing my things.
The only things that I took were my clothes, my toiletries, and my snacks.
Snacks that he wouldn’t eat, anyway.
With my car packed with my belongings, I took one last glance at the house that I’d come to love—with the man that I loved inside of it—and left.
Not once glancing back.
CHAPTER 9
If you don’t start none, there will always be some. Because there’s always that one bitch.
-Bram’s secret thoughts
BRAM
Over the last six months, my brothers had systematically gone down one after the other. First Haggard, then Shine. Followed closely by Price and then Tide. It’d taken me watching them fall in love and be happy and talking to my new sisters-in-laws, to realize that I’d been a complete and utter dumbass.
For ten full years, I’d had the epitome of perfection at home, and I’d done nothing but squander that time away.
I’d come so accustomed to having her there, having exactly what I wanted and needed at all times, that I didn’t realize that I wasn’t giving back what I got.
I didn’t know my wife at all, even though I knew that I loved her.
It was that quiet type of love.
I couldn’t tell you when, exactly, I’d fallen for her. Maybe it was when she’d given herself to me the first time. Or possibly when she never forgot a single holiday or birthday. Or hell, it could be when she made sure that every one of my brothers, and parents, got the most perfect Christmas gift for them.
Whenever it was, I knew that I was head over heels for her.
And I needed to do a better job showing it.
I’d come to the conclusion slowly, like the dumbass that I was.
I knew that some of my brothers had problems with her. I also knew that I didn’t stand up for her enough.
But what I didn’t know was how I was going to make it up to her.
Even if it took me the rest of our lives, I would.
That was the only thing on my mind as I drove home from a ride with my brother, Price, that clear, crisp fall day.
The weather was oddly cold for this time of year, and my mind was on that, and how cold I was, when I pulled into the driveway to find it empty.
I frowned and looked at my watch.
She was never not there at this time of day.
I knew that she went to school. I also knew that she had a job at the college in admissions. But that would’ve been over with hours ago.
It being nearly seven at night…
I got off the bike and headed into the house, knowing something was off almost from the instant I breached the doorway.
“Dory?” I called, stepping over a loose shoe that’d fallen to the ground. “Where are you?”
I knew, though.
My first stop was the spot by the garage where her car should be parked.
Her car that I’d been meaning to get her a replacement for for the last two years.
God, I was such an ass.
I really needed to…
When I opened the door between the garage and the kitchen, I saw what my heart was trying to tell me.
The car was gone.
My heart sank.
On stiff legs, I walked into the bedroom and straight to the closet where she kept her clothes.
I found the hangers there, in perfectly symmetrical rows, but no shirts in sight.
Her jeans were also gone from the cubbyholes where she kept them.
Her shoes? Gone.
Her toiletries in the bathroom? Gone.
Her pillow? Gone.
Goddammit, she’d even changed the sheets, so the scent of her would be gone.
With a sour stomach, I walked back into the kitchen to see a note that I hadn’t seen before laying on the counter.
I was almost terrified to have what I knew to be true confirmed.
Bram,
I’m sorry to do it like this, but I didn’t think I could manage to do it face to face.
I’m leaving. I’ll be sending you divorce papers in the mail once I can have a lawyer draw them up.
I didn’t take anything but the car, my clothes, and my snacks. I’m sorry if I took anything you paid for, but if you want it back, I’ll send it to you when I get settled. Just text me. I won’t have my phone on, though. But I’ll check it every once in a while to make sure.
If you have need of me, I’ll send over the number to the house phone when I get one. I left all the passwords and usernames on the back of this page to pay for all the bills. I took myself off of your account today, too, and opened one in my own name. So you don’t have to worry about doing that.
Also, I let my old boss know to forward my last paycheck to you. To cover this month’s expenses on my end. I’m sorry to leave you like this but it was the best solution for me.
I just want you to know that I don’t mind if you want to start seeing Mimi again before the divorce is final. I’ll never be back, so we don’t have to worry about ‘appearances’ anymore.
Hope you get what you want out of life, Bram.
Best,
Dory.
By the time that I finished reading the note, I realized that my world had just been torn in two.
• • •
“What do you mean, she left?” Jeremiah asked, sounding alarmed.
It was Shine’s ‘good riddance’ that had me whipping my head around to pin him with a glare so ferocious that I was surprised to see him flinch.
“Don’t talk about her like that,” I hissed. “How would you feel if Iris left you like that?”
Iris, who’d been completely silent since I’d announced that Dory was gone, looked at Shine like she wanted to strangle him.
“I feel for Iris a whole lot differently than you feel for Dorcas,” Shine shot back.
I fisted my hands and took a threatening step toward him as I said, “Don’t call her by that name. She hates it. And also, I do feel about her like that. I just don’t think that she should have to be saddled with me for the rest of her life when I wasn’t the one that she got to choose.”
Shine blinked at me. “What?”
“What do you mean what?” I snapped. “What part of that comment did your puny little brain not compute?”
Shine crossed his arms over his chest as he said, “The part where you said you actually liked her.”
I clenched and unclenched my hands as I said, “She’s my fuckin’ world, dumbass. I feel like part of my soul has left me.”