But I do.
Chapter 20
Zoe
Standing over the stove, I move the spatula under the eggs to flip them one last time just to be sure they are cooked through. The sizzle of food and the smell of them cooking has my stomach rumbling. Feeling so comfortable in Callan’s kitchen should scare me, but after last night, it doesn’t. I feel… happy and secure.
I woke up early like usual. I didn’t want to wake Callan, so I made my way downstairs to make a small breakfast for us. I figure he will be even hungrier than I am. We definitely burned off dinner a few times over last night. My body is achy and sore in all the right places. I’m acutely aware of Callan’s shirt covering my body. It swishes against my thighs as I move around, working to fill two plates with the food.
I look up when I hear feet padding down the stairs. I see Callan, sleepy eyed with mussed hair, making his way toward me. I frown, realizing he looks annoyed. Without even a hello, he pulls me into his arms.
“Why aren’t you upstairs in my bed where you belong?” he growls. His voice is filled with a sleepy timbre that makes my nipples instantly harden. He’s always beautiful, but with his hair mussed and wearing nothing but pajama bottoms, he’s deadly.
“Good morning to you, too,” I laugh before it’s cut off by his intense kiss. He deepens it while pushing me back against the counter. A moan leaves me, and he swallows the sound as he devours my mouth. I can do nothing but take what he gives me, mindless to function and reacting only to the feeling that Callan evokes. When he finally pulls back, I inhale, the air burning my lungs—starving for oxygen. I put my hand on his chest in case he pushes in for another one.
“Now it’s a good morning,” he grumbles. “I was looking forward to waking up with you in my bed with me.” He still looks annoyed, and I lean up on my toes to bite playfully at his lip.
“I’ve got to go to work today. My internal alarm clock went off,” I explain, pushing his plate towards him.
“Call in sick. I need more time with you,” he growls, glancing appreciatively at his breakfast before pulling me back into his arms.
“I can’t,” I tell him, shaking my head as I pull away. “It’s my month to pay the electric bill, so time off isn’t in my budget—even after last week’s long hours.”
“I’ll pay the damn electric bill,” he says, his tongue moving along the side of my neck as he nibbles and teases the skin.
I put a foot of space between us, ignoring how good everything he was doing felt. This is too important. “I didn’t spend the night with you to be paid for it, Callan.”
He looks at me, shock rolling through his features before his eyebrows crease. “I should spank your ass for suggesting I thought what we shared could be cheapened like that.”
“Spank me?” I squeak. “I’m not a child in need of punishment.”
“Right now, you’re acting like it. Trust me when I tell you that I’m the man who will do it, Zoe.”
“You’re mad,” I mumble, taking in the hard edge to his usually relaxed features.
“Damn right,” he huffs. “What we share is too damn special for you to insinuate I’m trying to pay for services rendered.”
“That’s not what I said,” I tell him, although he’s kind of right.
“It sure as hell sounded like it. I care for you. You’re special to me. You’re not just a cheap lay, sweetheart.”
My heart constricts in my chest at his words. I can admit I was a little worried. Hearing him deny it so passionately, my knees threaten to buckle.
“I care for you too, Callan. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I tell him as I step closer. I want to close the space between us both physically and emotionally.
“You can make it up to me then,” Callan says, grabbing my arms and pulling me impossibly closer.
“I can?”
He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his body. He sets me down on the counter, situating me so that my ass is on the edge of the kitchen island. He pulls his shirt off my body, exposing me to the cool air in the room.
“Oh yeah, baby, you definitely can,” he purrs.
“Sweetheart, I love you, but there are windows all around us.”
He looks up and stares at me. His eyes feel as if they are boring into me.
“So,” he finally says after a moment where the air is heavy with a tension I don’t understand.
“Callan, you don’t have curtains!” I hiss.
I glance just over his shoulder to see his neighbor’s porch. If they walked out right now, they would see everything we’re doing. Heck, this whole area is filled with windows. The thought of that makes my heart beat wildly. Panic and excitement war with one another inside of me.
“Then the least we can do is make sure they get one hell of a show, sweetheart,” he groans as he leans his head down to take my nipple into his mouth. I want to protest but it just feels too good. It’s so good that all I can do is hold on—my nails raking across his back, scoring his skin.
The thought of Callan being inside me at any moment chases away my shyness. If they see us at this point, they see us. I belong to Callan. I want him. I have a feeling I will always want him.
Chapter 21
Zoe
One Week Later
The week has passed in such a blur. I can hardly believe I’ve been at Callan’s this long. I’ve worked and come back here every night. We share dinner together. Then, afterwards, we make love—sometimes until the sun comes up. When we aren’t making love, we talk about anything and everything. His words root deep into my heart and each moment is precious to me.
But now, I have to go.
Sadness swamps me, making my stomach sink to my knees. I don’t want to go home. My dad is coming back, and I need be there when he gets home. I need to get back to reality and so far, Callan hasn’t given me any indication that he wants more from me. I’m a little disappointed, I can admit it. I was actually hoping that Callan might ask me to stay, to not go back home. He hasn’t and that’s okay. I mean, it’s probably smart. This thing between us is relatively new. I’m just letting my heart lead me. If you think about it, it’s silly to even think about him asking me to move in. I need to be logical. It’s just that after the last seven days with Callan, sharing his companionship, laughter, and not to mention the mind-blowing sex, I’m losing my heart to this man. It’s foolish, I know, but I’m hoping he might be feeling the same way.
The last day or so he’s been preoccupied and quiet. I asked him about it, but he just said Niko is having some issues and he’s worrying about him. I know he has a lot on his mind, so I haven’t pushed anything. The last thing he needs is for me to come at him with the hundreds of questions swirling in my mind. I’m a mess. I can’t figure out my own feelings let alone Callan’s.
I know I’m insecure because I’ve done things that I never thought I would. Callan asked me to dinner. We slept together on essentially our first date. Ever since that night, I’ve been living here. Things have gone too fast. I’ve crossed lines and made it too easy. Men prefer women who are a challenge, right? Callan pursued me hard when I was pushing him away.