Baldwin didn’t hesitate. “Think about it. If they don’t have a personal agenda with certain people they want dead, then they choose strangers so they don’t know who they’re killing. They don’t have any guilt or emotional connection to strangers’ deaths. Mass murderers are not trying to punish those people they kill. They just want the world to see them and their purpose…their agenda. The dead are just collateral damage. And very few mass murderers expect to survive their personal rampage. They want to die in public. They view themselves as having not been ‘seen’ in life, but everyone will see them when they go down in a blaze of gunfire.”
The questions continued, but Katie was done. She turned off the TV, so angry she was trembling. She knew the horror stories of foster care. She’d lived it. But she’d matured enough to know that there were some people who had turned their loss, grief, and rage into an identity. They took no responsibility for the troubles they had as adults and lived life as eternal victims. Getting cancer must have been what pushed the shooter over the edge.
She stared at the food on the table, then put the lid back on her tuna salad and returned it to the refrigerator. Right now, if she put another bite in her mouth, it was going to come up.
Instead, she took her iced tea out onto the little balcony off her bedroom and sat down in the shade to finish her drink. By the time she was through, her emotions had settled, along with her stomach, and she went back inside to get ready for the next interview.
Thankfully, the interview went well. The principal at that school was a middle-aged man, and the only one Katie spoke to. He never mentioned the shooting, which was a plus in Katie’s eyes. It ended with the same speech about still interviewing applicants, and even if they were not offered the job, they would all be notified when the position was filled.
The next day was a repeat of the same. Two more interviews, these in Texas, both of which were less than promising. She had the feeling these people were going through the motions because that was required, and that someone within the school system was going to be offered the job. She didn’t take it personally. That’s how the system worked.
A couple more days went by, and Katie was constantly checking for new posts when she noticed one in a little town called Borden’s Gap, Tennessee, that sounded promising. The opening was for a first-grade teacher. The pay was at the same scale as what she was receiving. Then she checked for rental properties and quickly discovered the one apartment building in town did not have vacancies, but there were small two- and three-bedroom houses for rent at a lower rate than what she was paying for her one-bedroom. So Katie filled out the application, sent off everything that was requested, and waited to hear back.
***
She woke up the next morning to a response from one of the schools in Texas stating the position had been filled, and before the day was over, she had another email from the Oklahoma interview with the same message, that the position had been filled.
Lila called her that afternoon and invited herself to Katie’s with the promise of bringing dinner.
A couple of hours later, Lila was knocking on the door and came in with a to-go order from their favorite barbecue. Ribs, beans, coleslaw, and hush puppies, and pecan pie for dessert. When Lila began taking containers out of the sack, Katie started laughing.
“Girl, are we supposed to eat all this ourselves?”
Lila shrugged. “We can divide leftovers and won’t have to cook tomorrow.”
“True,” Katie said. She got out plates and napkins and filled glasses with ice and sweet tea, then sat down and began filling their plates.
“So what’s been going on?” Lila asked.
“I’ve been interviewing,” Katie said.
Lila stopped, licked barbecue sauce off her thumb and grinned.
“So? Don’t stop there. Talk to me.”
Katie shrugged. “I ended the first one before it even began.”
Lila gasped. “Why?”
“First thing out of his mouth was asking me if I was the same Katie McGrath from the school shooting, when he already knew it because I’d been up-front about it with my personal info when I applied. You know why he asked anyway? To assess my mental condition.”
“Are you serious?” Lila said. “That’s appalling. I’m sorry.”
“I’m over it,” Katie said. “I’ve had a few more interviews. Two have already filled positions since, but I’m still in the running for one or two more, and I just applied to a new place today.”
“Where is it located?” Lila asked, then popped a hush puppy in her mouth.
“Rural Tennessee. I’m not looking to teach in big cities again. Going toward small-town America, in rural communities.”
“Ooh, that’s interesting. Not just a new location, but smaller ones. Good call, Katie girl.”
Katie smiled. “I thought so.”
They ate their way through the rest of the meal and were dumping scraps and getting out plates for pecan pie when Katie thought about the announcement from the FBI.
“Hey, Lila, did you happen to catch that FBI news conference about the shooter?”
“Yes! I did! Oh my God, Katie. Dying of cancer. Pissed at the world. And decides to shoot up a school? No conscience. No soul.”
Katie nodded. “Agreed.”
“I have a little bit of news,” Lila said as they sat back down with dessert.
Katie looked up, saw the grin on her friend’s face, and sighed.
“He finally asked you out, didn’t he?”
Lila giggled. “Yes! I’ve lived on the same floor with that man for over a year, and all he could manage was the occasional conversation about weather while we waited for an elevator.”
“So what changed?” Katie asked.
“Ironically, it was the shooting that prompted his concern, then one thing led to another and…well…he asked me out. We had our first date last Saturday, and we’re going out again this coming Saturday.”
“So? Is he fun and sexy and nice?”
“All of the above,” Lila said, and popped a bite of pie into her mouth.
“I’m so happy for you…and it’s about time!” Katie said.
“I’m happy for myself,” Lila said. “School is out tomorrow. I’m going to sleep in every day next week. Promise you’ll keep me updated on your interviews.”
Katie nodded. “I will. And you have to keep me updated on the new guy. What’s his name again? I forget.”
“Jack. Jack Monroe,” Lila said.
“I won’t forget again,” Katie said.