CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
Harrison
The dam that’s been holding in my emotions since I left Ava’s apartment breaks. My shoulders shake. I drop my forehead to the countertop and let out a sob.
“You broke her heart?” Graham repeats what I just said. “Why the hell would you do that?”
“She deserves more than I can give her,” I say. “One day, I’ll be a burden to her, and I want her happy. I love her way too fucking much to expect her to deal with all of my shit.”
“It’s not shit,” Graham argues. “It’s MS, and you’ll deal with it together.”
“How can I ask that of her?” I shake my head. “How can I ask the most incredible woman in the world to stand by my side as this changes me?”
“Have you even told this woman that you have MS?”
“No.” I finally drag myself back up until I’m looking at his face. “I can’t, Graham. I can’t tell her. I want her to live the life she’s supposed to live.”
“Does she know that you love her, Harry?” His arms cross his chest. “Tell me that you told her that you love her.”
“She doesn’t know.”
“Tell her how you feel,” he insists. “What if she’s in love with you too? Did you think about that? If the roles were reversed and she was dealing with this, would you walk away from her?”
“Never,” I spit the word out. “I’d move heaven and earth to make each of her days the best it can be. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
He glances over my shoulder before his gaze sets back on my face. “She sounds special. Very special.”
I nod. “You should see her smile, Graham. There isn’t a better sight on this earth, and the sound of her voice and her laugh. Her goddamn laugh is like magic to me. It echoes in my mind every single second of every fucking day. It’s been two weeks since I ended things and the pain just keeps getting worse.”
Graham rests both hands on the countertop, but he says nothing, so I go on, “I’ll never forget how she looked the last time I saw her. The image of her sitting on her piano bench as I broke her heart haunts me. I’ll never get over her. I love her too much.”
“Wait a goddamn minute.” Sean’s voice comes at me from behind. “Are you talking about Ava? She was dumped two weeks ago. That’s right when you went radio silent on us. This is all adding up.”
Shocked, I turn around. Through my tears, I make out Kavan at the entrance to the kitchen with Sean standing by his side.
“You’re in love with my sister, aren’t you?” Sean asks, stepping toward me.
I nod, knowing that I need to own this. “I am.”
He comes at me in a sprint. I steady myself with one hand on the counter for the force of the blow that’s coming. I deserve it and everything else he throws at me. I broke his sister’s heart and his trust in me all in one fell swoop.
Sean was there for me after my diagnosis. He moved in with me, fed me, and listened when I needed to vent. He’s been beside me through every step of this, and now, I’ve let him down in the worst possible way.
His arms are around me before I can absorb what’s happening. He holds me against him as I cry.
“She loves you, Harry,” he whispers. “She is so in love with you.”
I pull back to look at Sean’s face. “She told you she loves me?”
He pats my cheek softly. “She didn’t name-drop you but said she loves this great guy, and he only wanted to fuck around.”
I close my eyes. “She loves me.”
He pats my cheek harder. “We’re not going to talk about the fucking around part right now, but you’ve underestimated her. She’s torn up, Harry. She’s broken. If you really love her, go tell her what the fuck is going on with you. You owe her that. You owe her the truth.”
“I owe her that,” I repeat.
“And more,” he adds. “You owe her a chance to prove how much she loves you.”
I nod, stepping back from him. I reach for the countertop to find my balance. He pulls out the stool closest to us, motioning toward it. “Sit your ass down.”
I do as he says, glancing at him and Kavan. “When did you two get here?”
“We’ve been here for hours,” Kavan answers. “We’ve been worried about you, Harry. It was Sean’s idea for us to get together to come up with a plan to get you to tell us what was going on. I jumped to the worst case scenario.”
“He always does.” Sean jerks a thumb toward Kavan. “We were upstairs reading sweet Sela a bedtime story when you got here. You should hear Kavan’s impression of the big bad wolf in that book about the girl in the red hooded cape. It’s stellar.”
Kavan moves closer to Sean to smack him in the back of the head. “Shut the hell up.”
They both laugh.
I stare at Sean. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Ava and me.”
He rubs his chin. “You should have, Harrison. Why didn’t you?”
“Seriously?” Graham laughs. “You would have kicked his ass.”
Sean chuckles. “Before I met Calliope, I might have done that, but she’s shown me how powerful love is, and if you feel that for Ava, I can’t think of a better man for her. You’re the best man I know, Harry.”
“I love her,” I say again. “If I didn’t have MS, I’d…”
“You’d what?” Sean’s arms cross his chest. “You’d help make her dreams come true? You’d be loyal to her forever? You’d make every day of her life better than the one before it?”
I look him in the eye so he understands the conviction in my answer. “Yes.”
“You can do that.” He pokes me in the shoulder. “Nothing is stopping you from doing that. We’re all here for the bad days and the good days, and judging by the way my sister talked about you, she’ll stand by your side forever.”
“I should tell her,” I whisper.
“As soon as fucking possible,” Sean stresses each word. “She’s getting on a plane in the morning to go back to London. Find her and tell her you love her before that happens.”
CHAPTER SIXTY
Ava
“I can’t thank you enough for this, Ivy,” I say to the blonde woman standing behind the jewelry counter. “I appreciate that you met me here so late on a Sunday.”
Her gaze drops to the watch on her wrist. “It’s not that late, Ava. When you called to say that you were leaving tomorrow, I wanted to get the charm bracelet in your hand before that. I was happy to come back and open the shop just for you.”
In my rush to leave New York City, the bracelet slipped my mind. I had initially planned on picking it up from Whispers of Grace tomorrow morning, but my flight to London leaves before dawn.
She slides my bracelet closer to me. It’s sitting on a felt cloth atop the counter. “I added the charms as requested. I wasn’t here when you dropped it off, but I remember the man who ordered the movie clapboard charm. I remember him very well.”