I tilted my head. “Don’t let it end poorly.”
“I appreciate your confidence.”
“You give me more than that, Roman.” I took a breath. “May we agree to use his name? I’d hate to slip if I knew yours.”
He nodded. “What do I give you, Lucille?”
“Hope. Hope for Molave. Hope for me. It’s something I’d let slip away.” I sat taller. “I came out here to avoid you, not wanting to face you in the apartments.”
His smile grew. “I had the same reasoning.”
My gaze went to his. “I want to help you. I don’t know how.”
“Talk to me. Tell me what I can’t learn in classified documents or from watching videos. I’ve received so much advice that sometimes I feel like I’m him.” He scoffed. “And if Roman doesn’t start taking some anti-anxiety medications soon, I’ll need to.”
My giggle bubbled out of me.
It had been too long since I’d felt free enough to giggle in the prince’s presence. “I think everyone would be pleased with that decision, Your Highness.”
“Don’t you get lonely?”
I turned to him, seeing the concern in his dark stare. “Horribly.”
“Has it really been a year since you’ve seen your parents?”
I nodded. “I speak to them weekly—mostly my mother.”
“Do they know how sad you’ve been?”
Standing, I walked to the railing. While this Roman’s ability to see me was new and intriguing, it was also upsetting. How could this man who barely knew me see me when my husband didn’t?
“Sir, you don’t know me.” I spun toward him. “I was raised with a sense of duty, not to Molave, but to use my advantages to help others. My mother is a shining example.” A memory came to mind. “Do you know where we would spend Thanksgivings when I was a child?”
With his concentration solely on me, Roman shook his head.
“There was a particular homeless mission in the city.”
“New York?”
“Yes. We went every year. When I was young, I complained that we didn’t celebrate the holiday the way my friends did with family and feasts.” I smiled. “And then it became a tradition I savored. The people we served never knew our names. It was fun each time to come up with a new pseudonym. My mom made it a game.”
“Why didn’t you use your real names?”
“My dad said that people would look at us as if we were campaigning for him.” It occurred to me that he might not know what my father did. “He’s a United States senator.”
Roman nodded. “And your mother is a baroness from Borinkia.”
“It wasn’t Borinkia then, when her family fled to the US. It was still Letanonia.”
Standing, the man came closer. “Please tell me more.”
“My father, he didn’t want what we did out of a sense of duty to be misconstrued. The year before you and I wed was the last time I worked in that kitchen.” A bubble of happiness grew within me at the memories. “That year, over ten thousand meals were served. My mother’s foundation supplied the food and paper products. She also supported that shelter throughout the year.”
“Your mother’s foundation. Surely, they knew who you were.”
“The people running the shelter, yes. They never shared our secret.” My smile dimmed as I sighed. “I guess I thought as a sovereign, I would have the opportunity to help or even to make a difference.”
“I’m sorry, Lucille.”
I looked up at the man now at my side. “Don’t say that. Roman would never say that. He never has. You said it tonight to the queen. He wouldn’t even do that.”
“Then I will only utter it when we’re in private.”
“We rarely are. Lady Buckingham would instantly pick up on a slip like that.”
“She sees everything?” he asked, reaching for my chin and lifting my face toward his.
“Yes.”
“As long as I’m here, she will never see another bruise.”
I scoffed. “That might cause questions too.”
“I’m serious, Lucille. I admire your commitment to Molave, to the crown, and even to Roman. I will make you a promise.”
“Don’t. If you make a promise, you could break it. For the last few weeks, you have been my” —I searched for the right words— “my secret and my sustenance. You filled a void that was consuming me. I savored every moment of our frigid nighttime conversation. If you make me a promise and break it, then I will have nothing.”
His finger came gently to my lips. “I want a promise in return.” Without allowing me to speak, he went on in Roman’s voice, with Roman’s appearance, and surrounded by the familiar scent of his cologne. However, the words were not what Roman would say. “I will do my best to treat you the way you should be treated. I will keep my vow to Molave and the king. Once Roman returns, your promise to me is that you seriously reevaluate your vows.”
I took a deep breath.
“Lucille, if he doesn’t value you as you should be, you promise me that you will consider returning to America.” He lowered his finger.
“With you?” I scoffed. “Wouldn’t we be the talk of the town?”
“Not with me. Remember what it was like being the young girl in a large New York City shelter. That girl had to be strong and determined to not be frightened.”
“It wasn’t frightening. It wasn’t even” —I thought about it— “it wasn’t a burden or a penitence for being affluent. It was a gift to see the world that so many people choose to ignore.”
“You are beautiful. Your heart is even more beautiful.”
Warmth filled my cheeks.
“Remember that young girl, Lucille. If you aren’t helping people here, you could back in the States.”
A new thought came to me. “I’ve never told Roman that story.”
“Why?”
“He doesn’t listen.” I spun toward the railing, afraid to keep looking into his gaze. “Roman doesn’t listen to anyone. Tonight, with King Theo, you were more attentive than Roman would be.”
“I’m doing my best to be an asshole.”
A smile curled my lips. “You’ll need to work harder.” I stepped back and walked all the way around Roman, looking at him from all directions. “Did they change your appearance or are you a doppelgänger?”
He smiled. “I’m younger. My hair is usually shorter, and I don’t have natural gray.”
I waved my hand up and down. “The Firm has done an amazing job.”
Small lines of concern appeared near his eyes. “I never mentioned…”
“You didn’t need to. Once Queen Anne mentioned that you spoke to Parliament, I knew you had to have the Firm’s approval. There’s no other possibility. I just don’t understand what Roman’s done to lose their approval.”
“If the day comes that I learn that information and I am able to tell you, I will.”
Bowing my head, I looked up with a smile. “Thank you, Your Highness. That’s more of a promise than I’ve ever had before.”