“How Firm a Foundation.”
The words stirred inside Marilyn, as if awakening her from slumber or shaking her free from the clutch of cold.
When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be near thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
She shook with the power of the song.
This water she forded just now loomed deep, threatening to sweep her away. Could it be possible that within the river of sorrow, the Lord was with her?
A soprano she and Bob went to school with had sung this song at their wedding so many years ago.
If she had known then the troubles ahead of them, maybe she wouldn’t have gone through with it. Sure, she would have missed the pain, but then she would have missed the beautiful parts too.
“Lord,” she whispered, “You promised to be with me in deep waters. Be with me now.” Her heart stilled, filled with peace, and she smiled.
CHAPTER 10
SATURDAY, 10:03 A.M.
He was such a fool.
Bob stood for a moment holding the scrap of red fabric his wife had tossed on the top of the pile in her suitcase.
In his preoccupation with his own slipups and fatigue and his distraction with the job offer from Planting Hope, he’d not noticed the rift developing between them.
So, like with God, you decided to give me the silent treatment?
Oh, Marilyn. In a horrible burst of clarity, he saw all the efforts Marilyn had been making lately. Efforts he’d been ignoring or outright rejecting.
Yeah, he’d been a jerk. Probably, he didn’t even belong in a pulpit.
Worse, if he were honest with himself, he knew.
A few times there had been advances toward unity and connection on Marilyn’s part that he just hadn’t been up to reciprocating. He’d thought that, well, someday he’d figure out how to fix them.
Instead, those cracks had turned into a chasm.
Between him and his wife.
Him and God.
He stared at the Bible on the table. Heard his wife’s words. God is not silent. He just might not be moving in your spirit right now. But His words are always here, Bob. He is always here.
Too easily he could hear Stella reading the Luke 2 passage. The story of God not being silent. Of sending the Word of Life to earth. To walk among us, to be with a people who had rejected Him. Emmanuel.
Not silent at all.
Maybe it wasn’t that God had stopped talking, but that in all his busyness, Bob had stopped listening. Really listening.
Or maybe he feared what God had to say. What if it was over?
I’m sorry, Lord. I…
God loves you.
Dan’s soft, raspy voice was suddenly in his head.
He has not forsaken you.
He didn’t know why he reached for the Bible and sat on the couch. Muscle memory, maybe. It opened easily to the Luke 2 passage, where the angel of God appeared to the cold and tired shepherds, and he found himself reading aloud. “‘And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.’”
A Savior, proclaimed to the lonely shepherds, to remind them they weren’t forsaken.
A Savior, to prove to the world that God loved them.
A Savior, to save them from their darkness.
He looked out the window, to the sunlight on the snow, the glint of light against the ice.
And a God who, out of the silence, broke through to give mankind what they needed.
Himself.
Maybe he didn’t need answers. He just needed a Savior.
Lord, forgive me for thinking I have to carry all this alone. Or at all. He got up. Closed the Bible and pressed his hand against it. Forgive me for giving You the silent treatment. Please give me ears to listen. Then he reached for his boots.
Time to fight for this marriage.
As he opened his door, he heard…music? A cello, and he recognized the end of the song.
“Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis.
Oh, that was Stella. But what was she doing playing outside?
He hurried out the door. Marilyn had headed down the snowy path, and now he followed it. As he passed by cabin six, Tom stepped out onto the deck. “Bob!”
Bob didn’t want to slow, but Tom caught up to him. Gerald had come out behind him.
“Thank you for that sleigh ride you took my grandpa on. He talked about Grandma for hours, and we spent the evening writing down stories about their adventures. Thank you for suggesting it. Our whole family will benefit from remembering Grandma that way.”
Gerald caught up and now squeezed Bob’s bicep. “Cherish that wife of yours. She’s a rare treasure.”
Indeed.
“It seems the skies are singing,” Gerald said, pulling his coat on. He put his arm around his grandson.
A medley of familiar tunes now filled the air as Stella transitioned quickly between many songs. Bob didn’t recognize all of them until—
“Sounds like a hymn,” Tom said.
“How Firm a Foundation.” The song seemed to hang in the wind, drawing him, along with another couple down the path. As he neared the lake, a familiar coat caught his eye. Marilyn stood outside what looked like a large ice building.
No, a chapel, complete with an altar and a bower.
And playing at the front of the church, as if she belonged there, his beautiful, miraculous daughter.
Oh, how he was blessed. He looked at his wife. Her eyes were shut, listening.
He stepped up behind her, the words sinking through him.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
Yes. God hadn’t forsaken him. He’d refined him. Was still refining him.
He caught Marilyn’s hand on the refrain, and then, as the last of the song faded, leaned in.
“Never, no, never, no, never forsake.”
Her eyes opened and she turned her face up to him. Her cheeks were wet.
“They sang that at our wedding,” he said.
She nodded.
“I’m sorry, honey.” How could he have missed how much he was hurting her? “I was an idiot. I never should have thought I could just not let you in. One flesh, right?”
She nodded, wiped a hand across her cheek. “For better or worse.”
“You were right. I was carrying this burden alone. When I shouldn’t have been carrying it at all.”
“Methinks someone should listen to his own preaching.”
“Naw. That’s what I have you for.” He swallowed. “Right?”
The music had faded out, and in the silence, he just heard the thunder of his heart.
Then, “Right.”
The music changed, and Stella began playing a new song. But it was sweet and romantic, and suddenly, he was on his knees.
“Will you forgive me for my neglect these past few weeks? Will you do me the honor of continuing to be my bride?”
Marilyn let out a choked sob-laugh that turned into a smile. “I do. I will.” She cupped his cheek with her free hand. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. I was just… I let my fears get ahold of me. I should have believed in you. In us.”