Dimitri barked out a laugh. “No. Well, maybe, but I don’t think so. They know I’m gay. They don’t give a fuck.”
Dimitri ran his knuckles along Arlo’s cheekbone. “I’ve never brought a date because there’s been nobody for me but you since the day I met you, almost eighteen years ago.”
Arlo arched a brow, mouth flattening. “You’re saying you’ve never been with anybody? Ever?”
Dimitri’s forehead wrinkled. He looked like he was attempting to do complex math. Then his eyes went wide. “Oh! You mean, like, sex? Oh, no. I’ve had lots of sex. But not with anybody I gave a shit about. I was just killing time until you came to your senses and realized I was the only one for you.”
Arlo’s brows knitted together. “How was I supposed to do that when you never once showed any interest in me?”
Dimitri shook his head like Arlo was ridiculous. “What are you talking about? How many shifts did I switch with Remi so that I could work with you? How many parties did I blow off so I could hang out at the shop while you worked?” Dimitri asked.
Arlo shook his head, exasperated. “I have no idea, Dimitri. How many?”
Dimitri smiled at Arlo’s irritation, kissing his pouting mouth. “A lot. So many that even Remi realized how into you I am. He makes fun of me for it all the time.”
Arlo made a mental note to kick Remi’s ass for keeping that knowledge to himself. Arlo had spent countless hours whining to Remi about how much he liked Dimitri and he’d never once spilled this very pertinent piece of information. What the fuck? He thought they were friends.
“Well, that only works if I have all the information. You could have just asked me out, you know.”
Dimitri cocked his head, giving Arlo a look. “You’re never single. Ever. You’ve been with one guy after another since I started working there four years ago.”
His words felt like a blow to the diaphragm, knocking the air from his lungs. “Wow.”
Dimitri shook his head. “What?”
“One guy after another?” Arlo repeated, voice dull.
“I’m not insulting you.”
“I feel pretty fucking insulted,” Arlo managed, looking back out the window, his chest tight.
“Don’t do that. Look at me.” Arlo forced himself to turn and face him. “When was the last time you were single? Seriously.”
Arlo stopped short. He’d started dating Holden as soon as he’d split with Jimmy. Before Jimmy, it was Derek…Jimmy’s lab partner. Had Arlo really not been single in four years?
Arlo shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Dimitri asked.
Arlo gestured helplessly. “I don’t know. I just feel like I’m doing this all wrong.”
Dimitri’s brows drew together. “Doing what wrong? Us? You can’t do us wrong. I’m not like them. I’m sure you’ve heard that before, but I would never hurt you.” He gave a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. “I mean, unless you asked me to.”
Arlo rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the smile that stretched across his face. “You owe me big time for this. And I’m never doing this again.”
At least, Arlo fucking hoped so. He was not cut out for a life of crime. It was too stressful. He wanted to be done with stressful. He was far too tired for this.
“Well, with any luck, we won’t commit any more murders together that require us to come up with alibis.”
“You realize that implies there might come a time when one of us might commit a murder separately,” Arlo said.
Dimitri leaned forward and kissed him deep, murmuring against his lips, “Well, you have a pretty bad temper. There’s no telling what might set you off. You’re a very, very dangerous guy.”
Arlo let himself get lost in Dimitri’s kisses. A heavy fist suddenly pounded on the glass, startling Arlo. He jumped back, looking towards the window just in time to see a group of people continuing their walk down the sidewalk. Yeah, he really fucking hated fraternity row.
“Should we be parked illegally after we just committed murder?” Arlo whispered, as if people might suddenly be listening.
“Yes. If we’re lucky, campus police will ticket us and we’ll have a police-issued alibi,” Dimitri said.
Arlo surged forward and smashed their lips together once more. “You’re great at this.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment, even though I’m not entirely sure it is one,” Dimitri hedged.
“Text your mom the location so she can fudge the GPS data.”
Dimitri chuckled. “You’re pretty good at this, too.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Arlo said, waving off the compliment. “Promise me we can leave in an hour.”
“One hour.”
“And promise me you won’t make me talk to your fratty, douchey friends.”
“I promise,” Dimitri said dutifully.
“And if Mandy starts rubbing on you like a cat in heat, I will throw hands.”
“Noted.”
Dimitri held Arlo’s hand as they walked around to the back of the frat house. The easiest way to make people think they’d been there a while was to not walk through the front door and announce their arrival.
The backyard wasn’t nearly as full as the front porch and the yard which was littered with cups, bottles, and assorted accessories like half deflated beach balls and rusted lawn darts.
The icy air ensured that no smell emanated from the wall of overflowing trash cans lining the house, leaving only the crisp smell of wood burning where various couples shared Adirondack chairs around a firepit. Dimitri picked up a discarded solo cup off the porch railing, peering into it.
“If you drink that, I will most definitely vomit,” Arlo promised, horrified.
Dimitri snickered. “Take it.”
“Is this a hazing ritual? I would rather get dysentery on the Oregon Trail than drink this.”
“Stop being difficult,” Dimitri said, forcing the cup into his hand before draping an arm around Arlo’s slight shoulders and gathering him close. He tugged his phone free, pulling up the camera app and putting it in selfie mode. “Kiss my cheek.”
Arlo timidly rose on tip-toe to do as he asked. Dimitri turned at the last minute, snapping the picture just as their lips touched, then another as he pulled away. He grinned as he looked at the pictures. They both looked happy, gazing at each other like they were each other’s whole worlds.
Arlo was his fucking world. Always had been. Arlo seemed to feel the same way. Part of Dimitri was mad at himself for not shooting his shot four years ago, before men had trampled all over Arlo’s heart…and his body. He could have saved Arlo so much pain. Nobody would ever put a hand on Arlo ever again, not without losing a limb for their efforts.
But, for now, it was about establishing a paper trail to keep them from a murder rap. Dimitri loaded the pictures he’d just taken to Instagram, adding a bunch of bullshit hashtags. #collegelife #fratwars #beerpong #sigmachiordie #boyfriends #couple #partnerincrime
Arlo snorted as he peered over Dimitri’s arm. “Partner in crime? What? #BonnieandClyde was too on the nose?”
Dimitri grinned. “Hey, we want people to take notice. Besides, who would hashtag something like that if they really did just commit a crime?”